Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

I squirted my hungover husband in the face with water

548 replies

Hormonallyblessed · 30/01/2026 09:32

Im 8 weeks pregnant with DC #3 and really struggling with pregnancy sickness, tiredness and headaches - i agreed my DH could go out last night with work colleagues for his leaving do while i picked up DCs, took them swimming, fed and bathed them and put them to bed (and cleaned up then straight to bed myself).
He got back drunk at 1am and didnt get up in the night when 1 DC fell out of bed and then when the other DC needed covers pulled up then later wet themselves. All this i can deal with.
This morning kids wanted to get up at 6am and DH completely refused to get up. Said he wasnt getting up and to leave him alone. I said no way he had to get up with us as im on the verge of vomiting and he needs to be with us to help. He kept refusing. Kids tried to get him up he refused. Told us to fuck off etc. So I took my Evian water bottle and squirted his face and upper back while he was in bed. This made him sit up (he was furious) but he then lay back down so i squirted him again and said id keep doing it until he got up. He did then get up.
I'm not planning to apologise. Was this unreasonable?!

OP posts:
cardibach · 30/01/2026 13:28

ShawnaMacallister · 30/01/2026 12:44

Have you ever tried to get sense out of a man who's drunk the best part of 20 units of alcohol on a night out and gone to bed 5 hours prior? It's a waste of time.

Where are you getting that the DH drank that much?
Whatever he drank, having both agreed a leaving do and DH not getting in until 1 (yes, drunk, but that could mean anything) then it’s normal to assume they won’t be ready to get up until abput 8 or 9.

CheesyToes · 30/01/2026 13:29

QforCucumber · 30/01/2026 11:26

Absolutely not ok, at all.

I'm out tonight with friends, there will be drinking, DH will be at home with the kids, I wont be home until after 12. If he dared throw water at me in the morning, at 6 fucking am, he'd be out of the door and the marriage would be over quicker than he could blink.

He will get up with the kids tomorrow, after sorting their tea and taking them to football and doing bedtime tonight with them. He'll 'allow' me to lay in until I get myself up (probably around 8ish) keep the kids downstairs mostly so I'm not disturbed and I'll do the same for him next time he goes out. We're 43, not 18 nor trying to act single.

This comment deserves more likes! Imagine if the OP posted this -

'my husband agreed for me to go out on my works leaving do last night, despite him being a little poorly with a tummy bug.

I arrived home at around 1am after having a few drinks, roll on 6am my husband is angry because the kids woke him twice during the night, he ambushed me in bed, waking me, angry and has got the kids involved with waking me also - I have only had 5 hours sleep after a great night out.

Things got heated, I was hungover and there was chaos with trying to wake me so I shouted 'fuck off' to them all - not my finest moment.

My husband then squirted loads of bottled water over me as punishment for not getting up at 6am to help with the kids.

I am confused because he agreed to me going out, I thought I could just have one night out and a little lay in but he won't allow it'

👏THIS 👏IS👏ABUSE👏

cardibach · 30/01/2026 13:30

Mangelwurzelfortea · 30/01/2026 12:49

Surprised at all the support for the DH. Saying he could go out for the night doesn't excuse him from helping out with the young kids, or his pregnant wife, or getting up in the morning to do all the usual stuff. If he chose to get blind drunk knowing he'd struggle to deal with his responsibilities the next day, that's on him, not her. Why should she have to pick up the slack?

Not nice squirting him with water but it's not like it was hydrochloric acid or in any way harmful. Calling it 'abuse' is a stretch unless it's part of a long pattern of similar behaviour, and we have no way of knowing that.

Where are you getting ‘blind drunk’ from?
I have sympathy for him not wanting to get up at 6am. If this had all happened at 8 or 9 I’d feel differently. OP could watch tv with the kids until then.

ScholesPanda · 30/01/2026 13:32

TheInkIsBlackThePageIsWhite · 30/01/2026 09:39

You agreed he could go out, it is pretty obvious that someone out drinking until 1am, with your agreement, isn't going to be getting up at 6am, or getting up in the night with the dc.

It sounds like you weaponised the kids and then, when that didn't work, you just poured water over him.

Next time tell him you would prefer it if he didn't go out, rather than agreeing and then resenting him and making his morning miserable as punishment.

This is how I see it too. If you agreed he could have a (rare?) night out, you presumably knew that he'd take that as an opportunity to have a few too many and that you'd be lumbered with looking after the kids.

It seems odd to become bitter about it after the fact.

Xkk · 30/01/2026 13:39

ScarlettSarah · 30/01/2026 10:09

Going out on a leaving do doesn't mean you don't have to get up with your kids next morning to help your pregnant wife who is feeling unwell.

It also doesen't mean selfish pig deadbeat dad! Is disgusting to see the language used to describe someone you don't even know but I strongly believe this says more about the poster.

holachicatita · 30/01/2026 13:42

If my hubby was out until 1am no way would I expect him to get up in the middle of the night with the kids! Also I wouldn't be asking him to get up at 6am either.. you said yourself you were in bed straight after the kids. Broken sleep or not, it's on you to get up with them on this occasion. I'd look forward to the weekend when I can get a lie in in return!

ConfessionsOfAMumDramaQueen · 30/01/2026 13:58

Uhghg · 30/01/2026 10:54

So you were actually planning to stay up late drinking??

But then you’re saying it’s wrong for OPs DH to do it because apparently you can’t do that when you have kids??

I'd never planned to get shitfaced but would have had a glass of champagne or two ... but didnt when DH was unwell. OPs DH knew his wife was unwell with morning sickness (while pregnant with his child!) and continued to get shit faced and stumble in at 1am anyway.

My DH also goes away with his friends each year. I'm happy for him to go, he would do the same if I wanted to. But if I was pregnant he wouldn't have gone because I got horrific pregnancy sickness and actually lose weight when pregnant. He wouldn't dream of going and leaving me in charge of kids so sick and potentially needing IV rehydration.

OPs DH was being a selfish bustard getting that shitfaced when he knows he has responsibilities.

ConfessionsOfAMumDramaQueen · 30/01/2026 13:59

holachicatita · 30/01/2026 13:42

If my hubby was out until 1am no way would I expect him to get up in the middle of the night with the kids! Also I wouldn't be asking him to get up at 6am either.. you said yourself you were in bed straight after the kids. Broken sleep or not, it's on you to get up with them on this occasion. I'd look forward to the weekend when I can get a lie in in return!

Edited

Think you missed the bit where OP is really unwell and struggling with pregnancy sickness and felt very nauseous this morning ...

BrickBiscuit · 30/01/2026 14:05

Owly11 · 30/01/2026 12:46

Totally disagree. In a partnership responsibility is shared and on this occasion they both agreed that op would take on childcare so that her husband could go out. Refusing a reasonable request is not only ok it is absolutely essential to be able to do so in a non coercive relationship. When one partner is being 'permitted' to do things and is 'not permitted' to say no, with punishment to enforce, that is coercive,

If she's got morning sickness and he prioritises getting pissed, there is nothing reasonable about his position.

FrostyPalms · 30/01/2026 14:12

Your Evian water bottle? OK, Princess. The fact that you drink spring water at home and feel the need to tell us the expensive brand already gives me an idea of the type of person you are.

I don't agree with some people who think your husband shouldn't have had to ask permission to go out. You're a team with children and there should be a discussion whenever either of you wants to or needs to go out. You would be unreasonable never to agree to him going out though. (And he would be unreasonable if that was very frequent.)

But given that you had agreed that he was free to go to the event last night, you knew that you would be the one on call with the kids. Yes, you're pregnant and not feeling well, but you're not the first woman to ever be pregnant, and you chose to get pregnant with a third child when you already had two children still young enough that they wake you in the night (to pull up the covers? WTF?) and get up early. You should have sucked it up and made the morning as easy for yourself as possible, until your husband was up and ready to engage. In a marriage that's not dysfunctional like yours is, I would expect your husband to take the night shift and the early morning wake up the following day, or maybe even the next couple of days, in return.

Obviously, though, this is a dysfunctional marriage. He should not have sworn at you and especially at the kids, no matter the circumstances. But even more so, I believe that you squirting water on him crossed a line. The only time I think n action like that might be acceptable would be in self defense, which this was not.

It's a shame that you are bringing a third child into this relationship when you can't cope with the two you have. But that is the situation you find yourself in. Couples therapy could be very useful, so that you and your husband can try and learn to treat each other with respect. Otherwise this is not a good environment to raise kids in.

holachicatita · 30/01/2026 14:25

ConfessionsOfAMumDramaQueen · 30/01/2026 13:59

Think you missed the bit where OP is really unwell and struggling with pregnancy sickness and felt very nauseous this morning ...

Hmmm I didn't miss it, but she wasn't unwell enough to throw water over him! I get it I do, but I'd suck it up for once in this situation. What use is the hungover and sleep deprived man going to be? Let him sleep it off and get yourself a nice bath and let him do bedtime that night!

Raineys · 30/01/2026 14:33

What an awful environment for your children.
He would likely still be pissed with 5 hours sleep and i wouldn't want him around my children

I wouldn't have done what you did, but his behaviour is awful.
Is this a once off or a regular occurrence?
It makes a difference how he generally behaves.

BrickBiscuit · 30/01/2026 14:42

Raineys · 30/01/2026 14:33

What an awful environment for your children.
He would likely still be pissed with 5 hours sleep and i wouldn't want him around my children

I wouldn't have done what you did, but his behaviour is awful.
Is this a once off or a regular occurrence?
It makes a difference how he generally behaves.

He shouldn't have got pissed then, should he. With a pregnancy and two little ones to be looked after, his first thought was to get so pissed he can't get out of bed to help? Designated drivers manage go out without getting pissed. So do light drinkers, shift workers, critical workers due on shift within 24 hours, athletes, and so on.

B1anche · 30/01/2026 14:45

BrickBiscuit · 30/01/2026 14:42

He shouldn't have got pissed then, should he. With a pregnancy and two little ones to be looked after, his first thought was to get so pissed he can't get out of bed to help? Designated drivers manage go out without getting pissed. So do light drinkers, shift workers, critical workers due on shift within 24 hours, athletes, and so on.

Oh FFS, it was his leaving do. One night. Surely everyone is allowed to let their hair down once in a while.

BrickBiscuit · 30/01/2026 14:51

B1anche · 30/01/2026 14:45

Oh FFS, it was his leaving do. One night. Surely everyone is allowed to let their hair down once in a while.

Not if they neglect their pregnant partner and their children. If he can't enjoy a party without getting pissed (or alternatively just get up and get on with it no matter how he feels), his hair is the problem.

cardibach · 30/01/2026 14:52

ConfessionsOfAMumDramaQueen · 30/01/2026 13:58

I'd never planned to get shitfaced but would have had a glass of champagne or two ... but didnt when DH was unwell. OPs DH knew his wife was unwell with morning sickness (while pregnant with his child!) and continued to get shit faced and stumble in at 1am anyway.

My DH also goes away with his friends each year. I'm happy for him to go, he would do the same if I wanted to. But if I was pregnant he wouldn't have gone because I got horrific pregnancy sickness and actually lose weight when pregnant. He wouldn't dream of going and leaving me in charge of kids so sick and potentially needing IV rehydration.

OPs DH was being a selfish bustard getting that shitfaced when he knows he has responsibilities.

Where does OP say he was ‘shit faced’? Or that he ‘stumbled in’?

stargirl27 · 30/01/2026 14:59

Owly11 · 30/01/2026 13:11

Or people who have partners that wouldn't in a million years throw water over them and don't want to sit back while others normalise it as being absolutely fine because 'he deserved it'.

Would they tell you and your kids to fuck off though?

Boomer55 · 30/01/2026 15:08

Owly11 · 30/01/2026 13:11

Or people who have partners that wouldn't in a million years throw water over them and don't want to sit back while others normalise it as being absolutely fine because 'he deserved it'.

This. 👍

Everanewbie · 30/01/2026 15:17

Raineys · 30/01/2026 14:33

What an awful environment for your children.
He would likely still be pissed with 5 hours sleep and i wouldn't want him around my children

I wouldn't have done what you did, but his behaviour is awful.
Is this a once off or a regular occurrence?
It makes a difference how he generally behaves.

Wow, clutch them pearls, Mrs Oliver Cromwell! You make having a few drinks with your colleagues on your own leaving do sound like a week with George Best and Oliver Reed. He struggled to get up at 6am after a few pints, he wasn't snorting cocaine off a strippers arse in Ibiza.

unbelievablybelievable · 30/01/2026 15:18

stargirl27 · 30/01/2026 14:59

Would they tell you and your kids to fuck off though?

After multiple disturbances at 6am while it's still dark outside and you'd not had much sleep, many people would be fed up enough to do a general 'just fuck off'. Doesn't make it right but I can sympathize with that more than throwing water over someone

Gloopsy · 30/01/2026 16:07

unbelievablybelievable · 30/01/2026 15:18

After multiple disturbances at 6am while it's still dark outside and you'd not had much sleep, many people would be fed up enough to do a general 'just fuck off'. Doesn't make it right but I can sympathize with that more than throwing water over someone

it is a good job the OP (who was the one who actually was doing all of the hard work with the children) didnt tell them to fuck off too. She got out of her bed and dealt with them.

Poor diddums man refused to get up and care for them after getting drunk last night, neglected his kids who needed him and then verbally abused them and his pregnant wife. And you "sympathise" more with HIM ???

I totally despair

unbelievablybelievable · 30/01/2026 16:10

Gloopsy · 30/01/2026 16:07

it is a good job the OP (who was the one who actually was doing all of the hard work with the children) didnt tell them to fuck off too. She got out of her bed and dealt with them.

Poor diddums man refused to get up and care for them after getting drunk last night, neglected his kids who needed him and then verbally abused them and his pregnant wife. And you "sympathise" more with HIM ???

I totally despair

Edited

🤣 My God, the hyperbole of some posters here!

Gloopsy · 30/01/2026 16:11

unbelievablybelievable · 30/01/2026 16:10

🤣 My God, the hyperbole of some posters here!

Point out the hyperbole

stargirl27 · 30/01/2026 16:13

Gloopsy · 30/01/2026 16:07

it is a good job the OP (who was the one who actually was doing all of the hard work with the children) didnt tell them to fuck off too. She got out of her bed and dealt with them.

Poor diddums man refused to get up and care for them after getting drunk last night, neglected his kids who needed him and then verbally abused them and his pregnant wife. And you "sympathise" more with HIM ???

I totally despair

Edited

100% this! So many pick mes on this thread lol. Couldn't be me putting up with this from a man 🤐

dadtoateen · 30/01/2026 16:16

Gloopsy · 30/01/2026 16:07

it is a good job the OP (who was the one who actually was doing all of the hard work with the children) didnt tell them to fuck off too. She got out of her bed and dealt with them.

Poor diddums man refused to get up and care for them after getting drunk last night, neglected his kids who needed him and then verbally abused them and his pregnant wife. And you "sympathise" more with HIM ???

I totally despair

Edited

I'm sorry?

Neglected?? They 'needed' him?

Ahh don't forget the word pregnant before wife.

Bloke went out on the lash, simple as. Sounds like the poor bugger deserved a night off :)