I squirted my hungover husband in the face with water

[Hormonallyblessed]

Im 8 weeks pregnant with DC #3 and really struggling with pregnancy sickness, tiredness and headaches - i agreed my DH could go out last night with work colleagues for his leaving do while i picked up DCs, took them swimming, fed and bathed them and put them to bed (and cleaned up then straight to bed myself).
He got back drunk at 1am and didnt get up in the night when 1 DC fell out of bed and then when the other DC needed covers pulled up then later wet themselves. All this i can deal with.
This morning kids wanted to get up at 6am and DH completely refused to get up. Said he wasnt getting up and to leave him alone. I said no way he had to get up with us as im on the verge of vomiting and he needs to be with us to help. He kept refusing. Kids tried to get him up he refused. Told us to fuck off etc. So I took my Evian water bottle and squirted his face and upper back while he was in bed. This made him sit up (he was furious) but he then lay back down so i squirted him again and said id keep doing it until he got up. He did then get up.
I'm not planning to apologise. Was this unreasonable?!

I wouldn't have been happy with you. If this was a reverse, then your DH would have been slated on here as being an abuser.

You need to grow up a bit. 🤷‍♀️

Think about it the other way round from a female op:
"I asked my dh for permission to go to my own leaving drinks. (I am leaving the work where I have been for x number of years and it was really important to me that I celebrate with colleagues. A leaving do is a one off occasion so I assumed it would be ok to let my hair down a bit). He gave me permission so I went out and got drunk and came home at 1am. Less than 5 hours after I got to sleep he came storming into the bedroom at 6am saying I had to get up to deal with the kids. I said no and that I needed more sleep. He refused to accept my no as an answer and said that as a responsible parent I needed to get up NOW and deal with it. He was really angry and he got the kids involved too with all of them badgering me to get up. I felt so ill and unwell and really needed to sleep but they just wouldn't accept my no. Eventually I snapped and told them to fuck off (I know I shouldn't have done that but they wouldn't stop haranguing me). Dh then went to get a water bottle and threw it all over me. Was he being reasonable?"

Imo yes. Relationships are about compromise and making each other’s lives easier. OP picked up the slack in the evening and overnight and DH should have done so in the morning.

Nice bit of fiction there. What makes you think he had to ask permission? And is the husband pregnant and unwell?

How drunk will he get at his DIVORCE party though? Well, if is agreeable to go that is.... :) :)

So confused as to why people are repeatedly saying OP expected DH to get up in the night, she never said this?

You think someone going out and getting drunk until 1am should be up with the kids at 6am in the morning?

Op can't agree to one thing and then unilaterally decide something else, when it's too late, in anything less than an emergency. If he knew in advance he would have probably made different choices.

You are a bully

You've added quite a bit of made-up detail into that! Her husband didn't have to 'ask permission' to go to his own leaving do, they agreed that he could go but agreeing to that isn't a green card for him to go and get absolutely shit-faced - not when he's got a pregnant and struggling wife and two young DC at home.

There seems to be a determination to paint the OP as controlling on here - what is that all about?

This is a message to the OP either stop moaning about your dh/the situation or leave him. Simples!

Who said he was shit-faced?

Agreeing to something is not the same as allowing someone to do something! I'd suggest you use a thesaurus yourself. I can also see your reading comprehension is poor (per your 2nd edit).

No you are right, she didn’t say she expected it. However she did take time to list what happened in the night then declare all this she could deal with.

It’s a bit passive aggressive

Unhappy people projecting is what that's all about.

Well yes it is fictional - it's an attempt to show the possible situation from the other person's perspective so of course I have had to use my imagination. It's a shame that those who think op was being reasonable are not able to similarly exercise a bit of imagination to wonder what it might have been like from her dh's point of view. Maybe permission is a bit strong, but the op said 'I agreed' to the dh going - I think it is telling that he needed her agreement to go to his own leaving drinks. It was hardly a random lads night out.

Where does it state he was 'shit faced'. Nowhere, he was drunk like many people get. No mention of shit faced.

You have 3 choices op.
stop moaning
leave him
or carry on moan more AND REPEAT!

I presumed he was shit-faced because he seemed totally incapable of / unwilling to get up in the morning.

Or people who have partners that wouldn't in a million years throw water over them and don't want to sit back while others normalise it as being absolutely fine because 'he deserved it'.

Then you'd be doing your partner a huge favour. And good luck to you in finding a woman who took on all the donkey work, while ill from carrying your child, so you could lie in bed swearing and acting like a teen with a sore head because they haven't yet worked out how many beers is too many.
Because frankly a man like that is no one's idea of a catch and would be generally better to stick with the woman who'd have him rather than try his luck back out there.

Again, never was mentioned he was totally incapable, talk about making stuff up.
The poor sod didn't want to get up after 5 hours kip, BIG difference.

Unless you were actually there?

in my house, going out for a leaving do, includes expecting them to have a hangover and be on half standard the next day. The issue could be foreseen, and should have been made explicit in the agreement.

Even if stone-cold-sobar, going out late would mean it's expected not to be up at the crack of dawn the next day in our house.

Imo the drinking is a bit of a red herring in this situation. Would you expect your partner to be up after less than 5 hours sleep at 6am (before it's even light outside!) and then throw water over them when they don't?

You sound well matched. I'm afraid that's not a compliment.

‘Couldn’t be bothered’ at 6am. Lots of people have said if it was 10 they’d feel differently.
You know the power imbalance isn’t always in favour of the man in abusive relationships? Men can and do get abused too. We don’t have enough evidence to know whether that’s the case here.