I squirted my hungover husband in the face with water

[Hormonallyblessed]

Im 8 weeks pregnant with DC #3 and really struggling with pregnancy sickness, tiredness and headaches - i agreed my DH could go out last night with work colleagues for his leaving do while i picked up DCs, took them swimming, fed and bathed them and put them to bed (and cleaned up then straight to bed myself).
He got back drunk at 1am and didnt get up in the night when 1 DC fell out of bed and then when the other DC needed covers pulled up then later wet themselves. All this i can deal with.
This morning kids wanted to get up at 6am and DH completely refused to get up. Said he wasnt getting up and to leave him alone. I said no way he had to get up with us as im on the verge of vomiting and he needs to be with us to help. He kept refusing. Kids tried to get him up he refused. Told us to fuck off etc. So I took my Evian water bottle and squirted his face and upper back while he was in bed. This made him sit up (he was furious) but he then lay back down so i squirted him again and said id keep doing it until he got up. He did then get up.
I'm not planning to apologise. Was this unreasonable?!

Obviously I am in the minority but you squirted him with water, not acid. Parenting doesn't stop because you've got a hangover and it sounds like he learned that today.

But it was. A special occasion for the DH. It was entirely predictable and, as others have said, she could have taken the kids (we still don’t know ages but from events, not babies) down to watch some tv until about 8 then gone back to bed and handed them over.

When was a lie-in promised in the OP?

Stargirl well obviously not no. I’ve not caught up with all of thread yet so can’t see any OP new posts but I’m assuming when she signed his permission slip for his own leaving party that they had a conversation about arrangements for the following am and in particular, had discussed her morning sickness? Pregnancy in itself isn’t a reason to punish DH for getting drunk and unable to wake in the night or get up at 6am

There's a middle ground between a thimble of sherry and getting so drunk you are unable to perform your role as a parent

Stop it FFS
Of course throwing water or anything else on someone is common assault and it is often employed by abusive partners within relationships. You're making yourself look ridiculous by going on like this.

It's you who has 'got it backwards'.

Quote from OP:

'Told us to fuck off etc. So I took my Evian water bottle and squirted his face and upper back while he was in bed.'

No idea why you are assuming any of this and then jumping to random conclusions for it. OP also didn't seem to take issue with DH not waking up in the night? They both felt poorly in the morning, OP because of her pregnancy and DH because he chose to drink a certain amount of alcohol. Why should OP be the one to suffer?

I can't perform my role as a parent sobar at 6am after less than 5 hours sleep!

there is zero indication that he was "shit-faced" though.

And yes, i do think it is ok now and again to go out and get merry, and if i got back at 1am my DH wouldn't expect me to either get up in the night (poss drunk and unsafe) or at 6am because he's not an abusive controlling arsehole.

Everyone is different, if this applies to OP's DH then perhaps he could have come home earlier?

Why would he have to be able to parent at 6am when his wife agreed he should have a night out for his leaving do? It's obvious that the morning would be down to her.

Should we all be 100% able to parent at all times, despite there being another parent right there agreeing to pick up the slack, just in case?

Presumably because the morning sickness isn't a one off and will have already been a few weeks. Does the DH have to be up at 6am every morning? Why is a one off after a celebration a big deal?

And we don’t know this is what happened. We don’t know how drunk he was. But there was no need for him to get up after 5 hours of sleep.

I showed my DH the OP's post and he said 'sounds like he got off lightly, to be honest'.

Disclaimer: I've never sprayed water on my DH, or anything like that, before anyone suggests he's used to that kind of thing. Although I do keep an Evian bottle next to the bed at night.

The point is - decent men don't see OP's DH's behaviour as acceptable. There are clearly some entitled men and some women with shitty husbands on this thread.

Was it OP's finest hour? No. But it's insulting to compare this to cases of genuine abuse.

They’re both in the wrong here! The amount of posters supporting the dh though. No wonder they can get away with shenanigans like this!

This is not 'obvious', my partner would never treat me like that, it's completely selfish.

At the end of the day, there were two parents there. Both had disturbed sleep (OP due to getting up for the kids in the night, DH because he chose to stay out late drinking). Both didn't want to get up in the morning (OP as she was pregnant and had morning sickness, DH again) due to his choices. I don't see why OP should be the one picking up the slack!

nah, she "allowed" him to go. Having said that, if she is that controlling she probably also only "allowed" him a couple of shandies.

They had talked about him going out and she had agreed. If she is too short sighted to imagine he might come home a bit drunk, and having got home at 1am that he might not want to get up at 6, and that a drunk/tipsy person is not safe to do the night wake ups, that's on her.

There is zero indication from OP that he isn't usually very hands on.

(also "what she is going through" as pp said is what millions of us "went through" and somehow survived)

Both of you seem stressed and it’s not a good idea for him to get so drunk he has a hangover when you’re having a rough time with pregnancy.
stop squirting him and just have a sit down chat

Your dh thinks that she should have went further with assaulting her husband, and you think he's a decent man?

Yes, I realised in a re-read. Too late to edit. I still think expecting anyone to get up after a special event after very little sleep and a few drinks is unreasonable. Sending the kids in to wake him was unreasonable. Him swearing was also unreasonable. Squirting him with water was unreasonable.
PP’s solution of watching tv lying on the sofa until a bit later then swapping would have solved it.

You've not been 'merry' if you're still 'drunk/unsafe' to get up with kids at 6am.

The whole wording of the this post!!

I agreed he could go? He can do things pregnant or not why on earth does he need to seek permission to go on a night out especially his own leaving do.

What did you think was going to happen? He obviously was going to come in drunk and you would be solo parenting! Providing this isn’t happening on a weekly basis, let the man sleep fgs!

Within the context of domestic abuse? Absolutely.
Also
https://www.cps.gov.uk/east-england/news/woman-sentenced-after-milkshake-thrown-parliamentary-candidate?utm_source=chatgpt.com
https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2019/jun/18/nigel-farage-milkshake-attacker-pleads-guilty-to-common-assault
https://www.justanswer.com/uk-law/8p2vv-looking-legal-represntaion-common-assault-charge.html