AIBU? DH failed to mention that our baby name choice is the same as one of his exes

[Toothfairy92]

We are expecting a baby girl in the next few weeks and have had a name - Laura - picked out for a couple of months. I suggested the name initially and we both agreed we liked it. It’s remained our top pick since then.

Last night we were chatting in the car and it emerges that he had a girlfriend called Laura for a “few months” about ten years ago, in his mid-twenties. It came up because I said I was glad that it was less commonly used these days, and he said he’d known a few at school, oh and he’d dated one for a bit.

Personally, I think it’s inappropriate and a bit weird to use a baby name that is shared with an ex girlfriend, even a short term one. I think I’d be really icked out calling a child a name of someone I’d been with!

I feel sad and frustrated that I’m back to the drawing board on names; and that I’d built up my bond with this baby using the name in my head. He says it just didn’t cross his mind until we talked in more detail about it last night, and doesn’t see the problem with using it. He thinks I’m BU to be a bit upset and to think it’s inappropriate. Am I?

Yabu.

A short term relationship years ago wouldn’t bother me. Long term or recent ex yes.
What about Lara, Lana, Laurie instead? If it bothers you it bothers you so change it now as you can’t after!

He probably may ate a cheeseburger with her too. Does that mean he can’t eat cheeseburgers anymore?

You are being ridiculous.

I'm going to find it... thank you! Although it is a bit amazing - seems an odd name for a song choice!

Oh this is interesting to follow.
I had a very short college fling with a guy whose name I absolutely loved. I haven't seen this guy in 12/13 years... we weren't even in a relationship but were sleeping together for a few months. He was a really nice guy we were just in college having fun, nothing serious.

I loved his name. But I know that my friends would think of him if I named my child taht and probably think I still had a thing for him 😂 I absolutely do not. I've no idea what he even does now or where he is... I love my husband and my family. The name would fit well with our other kids, but I have always kept it to the back of my mind for fear of someone else commenting.

If he had suggested it, fair enough but you were the one who picked it and then he agreed. No problem IMO

Lorna?

Theres a Laura at my DC’s primary school and it’s lovely, makes a change from the endless Evies and Olivia’s and Amelia’s.

Its a great name, use it, you’re massively over thinking.

just putting it out there that I think Laura is a lovely name 😅

Is your name Laura by any chance ?😁

Whats wrong with using the name of your best friend at school? The ex girlfriend thing, OK at a stretch. Do you still see her? It sounds like you want something 'Yooneeq' but loads of people have all those names! What if she's named Rachel, then you meet someone you hate called Rachel when she's a few weeks old?

You can dislike a name for any reason you want @Toothfairy92 - but I Absolutely am with your DH on this one. Millions of people share the same name - this is not some massive tribute to your DH's ex! Kindly, get a grip.

Makes brief note of name for next cat we own.

there were about a gazillion Lauras in school with me. Your reaction is like expecting a woman in her 40s to have never snogged or gone out with a Matthew, James, Mike, Steven, Richard, Chris, Gareth etc - they were ubiquitous names of boys born in the 80s. And for a few months?! That's not like she's an ex wife or someone serious.

Ridiculous

YABU

If it was a long term relationship or an ex wife then yes I wouldn’t like it and would change the name - but a brief fling 10 years ago wouldn’t bother me.

To add to the similar but not quite the same list...how about Lowri, which I believe is the Welsh version of Laura?

I understand@Toothfairy92 Your DH should have just vetoed the name Laura straight away. All he had to do was say he preferred other names. Instead you found out that it was the name of an ex and that has somewhat tainted it for you. Men in general are pretty useless at making associations like that.
My DH agreed to a date for our wedding that turned out to be the birthday of someone he had a long term relationship with. He didn’t even think it was worth mentioning to me. We could have used an alternative date. I was absolutely mortified for ages afterwards. I kept thinking she would think it was chosen on purpose to hurt her feelings.
I acknowledge that most people wouldn’t care about a date. Just like a lot of people on this thread have indicated they wouldn’t care regarding the ex’s name. We are all different and what bothers one person doesn’t necessarily bother another. Good luck with the birth of your baby and whatever name you choose will be lovely I am sure.

I think Laura is a classic name - like Elizabeth or Kate or Victoria - so you can name any baby that and it won't go out of fashion. My name is a 70s name that no babies are called any more - everyone I meet with the same name is almost exactly the same age as me! But I digress. It really doesn't matter if your ex has gone out with a Laura (for all of 5 minutes, but the sound of it) because it's a traditional and beloved name. If she'd been called Lululemon-Leigh and that's what you'd opted for, then I'd say no.

Cue her mates: ‘We are all Dooned!!🙀’

My husband is called David and I have an ex called David. Some names are just really popular. If it was a long time ago and brief I really don't think this is something to be concerned about.

You are being ridiculous. Both my children have names that coincidentally are also names of exes, one of which was quite a serious relationship, but my child was named after a grandparent with the same name. I have never even thought about it as being an ex's name until this thread and he is over 20.

Groucho Marx approves of ‘Lydia’, as everyone knows. (I think it’s a fabulous and timeless name, as is Laura)

my dh suggested his mistresses name, Claudia - but this was 20 years ago. I found out he was having an affair and we separated - consequently he didn't have anything to do with naming the baby. Baby was named Laura! as I really liked the name....

Laura's a lovely, classic name and one that I had on my list for our DD (the husband didn't like it and we had a couple of names we did like). I can absolutely promise you that once your baby is born the name will quickly come to mean all the lovely things about her and none of the totally irrelevant things about some other Laura from twenty years ago who your husband didn't get married to or have a baby with.