To think a therapist with a personality disorder is concerning?

[TherapistKnot]

I won’t say how I know this therapist, but I will say I know them very well. I know this person has read Mumsnet in the past, so I do not want to out myself. This therapist charges a premium hourly rate, and specialises in working with vulnerable people (including children) which I think makes this even more concerning.

The therapist in question has a long history, going back to childhood, of severe mental illness. This includes multiple suicide attempts (some very recent) and several diagnosed mental illnesses, including a personality disorder. I won’t say which, again for fear of outing myself or this individual. They have also been investigated by social services and the police on numerous occasions, again spanning decades, due to the behaviour they have exhibited as a result of their poor mental health. In the past year, they were investigated by social services, who found that they are emotionally manipulative, abusive and dishonest. This report was then sent to the father’s of her children (she has multiple children with different fathers, I believe this is also part of her mental illness and self-destruction). As a result of this, one of the father’s took her to court and she lost custody of one of her children…she is allowed contact with them but the child has been put in the care of their father.

Throughout the years I have gently asked if they feel any of this impacts their role as a therapist. The person in question has said that they are very good at separating their personal and work life, and that they would never behave poorly towards a client. However, I fail to see how all of this cannot materially affect their work as it has such a profound impact on their daily life and those around them. I would be horrified if I was paying an exorbitant amount (or even seeing her for free) with all of this background knowledge.

I have researched it and it appears that therapists can operate unchecked, there does not appear to be any safeguards, effectively anyone can become a self-employed therapist. Yes it is up to clients to do their due diligence - for example I would request a DBS - but there is nobody overseeing therapists and therefore there would be no way for a client to have access to any of this information.

AIBU to think this is wrong and that anyone working with vulnerable people needs to be on some sort of register or have some sort of governing body?

Your ex partner’s new girlfriend
or your new partner’s ex girlfriend

by any chance?

I am not going to explain how I know them, all I will say is I have known them for many years.

Sadly, there is nothing that stops anyone from calling themselves a ‘therapist’ and hanging out their shingle. Frankly, I know some mental health professionals (one an addictions social worker, another a clinical psychologist) who are mad as a box of frogs. The social worker was having sex with one of her clients for a time. The clinical psychologist does drugs and knowingly turned a blind eye to a paedophile having contact with a young child without telling the child’s parents or reporting it as a safeguarding concern.

There’s a therapist local to me who is forever on our local facebook group advertising her services with big long rants about her own fragile mental health and how much money she has to spend on therapy for herself because of how traumatised she is by work with her clients.

Honestly, people have to do their due diligence about anyone they hire. Therapists should be engaging in supervision and CPD where hopefully someone can flag up serious concerns to the professional body they may be a member of. But how far a complaint or safeguarding concern would actually go remains to be seen. It won’t stop people practicing as anyone can flog their services on Facebook or their website. I agree with you it is worrying though.

As I thought
just butt out
of she was doing a crap job, she wouldn’t have patients as they’d leave
No one is forcing anyone to see her

Personality disorders are quite dodgy science in any case - they often serve as “dustbin diagnoses” and are gradually being replaced with less nebulous and more pertinent labels. If the therapist has well-managed and treated long-term MH conditions, that’s not uncommon at all in the therapeutic community and can actually be an asset. I think I would mind my own business.

I've seen lots of mentally unwell and sometimes very cruel/manipulative people go into caring roles! Especially mental health nurses!

Yes, it's hard when there is no regulation around the title therapist or counsellor etc
Nothing you can do so maybe just distance yourself, it's not your business. Some people are good at compartmentalising but at the same time you never know what is or isn't bleeding into her practice

I doubt that it is unusual tbh. Most therapists go into the role to self heal or self explore.

I came to say something similar. I know many people that trained in similar areas primarily to understand themselves/try and self heal.

It is a bit of a worry how unregulated it seems to be. I have had many therapists, good and bad, and I wouldn't know if they were genuinely trained and legit etc. it's expensive, sometimes £50 an hour etc. They might send you a certificate or whatever, but I wouldn't know if it was fake or genuine. They're potentially exploiting people when they're at their most vulnerable. I wish that it was properly regulated

Unfortunately jobs in psychology/mental health do attract mentally unstable people in my opinion!

Seems likely normal I’d say. As in therapists having their own demons and possible mental health issues.

Think of it like this you might be amazing at telling your friend to leave her pos boyfriend. But you might not be good at leaving a bad relationship yourself. You could give great money advice but be shit with your own impulse spending.

Do as I say not as I do and such.

i think a significant proportion of mental health nurses have mental health diagnoses themselves…..

I suspect a high number of dieticians have had issues around food

Yes they either seem to be super duper skinny or vastly overweight. I’m yet to see one that appears a healthy weight.

I have no intention of doing anything about it, there isn’t anyone to report it to even if I wanted to. I am more concerned about how common this is, it seems very obvious that there should be some sort of regulatory body, particularly when working with vulnerable people and when money is involved.

I understand that those with mental health struggles may be well placed in some respects to help other people who are struggling, however, there has to be some sort of balance? How can someone who has had a child removed be giving therapy to children? It doesn’t sit right at all.

Many people with mental health problems prefer support from people with lived experience. I know two mental health nurses who have had serious mental health problems. Several social workers who were in care as children and a few who were in abusive relationships as adults. Drugs and alcohol services are often staffed by people who have struggled with addiction.

If her children were removed for say neglect. That’s not an issue that can happen with her clients so technically not relevant.

Now if she was beating them and then was alone with children that would be an issue.

In your examples though you notably use ‘had’ not ‘have’. I wouldn’t expect to go to a drug rehabilitation centre and be helped by an active user, or go to an AA meeting and it be lead by someone who is currently an alcoholic.

Some dentists have bad teeth, some cleaners have dirty homes, it doesn’t always follow that you have to be personally perfect in the role you work in.

Would you honestly want someone giving therapy to your vulnerable child who had their own child removed?

of course, only in England

One of my friends sisters is a counsellor she has concerning MH problems, lives in a toxic household and has been under MH team and social services for years but still works for one of the ‘big’ MH charities as a counsellor. I do wonder how she manages it tbh

You can report them. This is the professional body that any half decent therapist should belong to.
www.bacp.co.uk/

What would reporting them achieve? Does this body have any powers of investigation?