To think a therapist with a personality disorder is concerning?

[TherapistKnot]

I won’t say how I know this therapist, but I will say I know them very well. I know this person has read Mumsnet in the past, so I do not want to out myself. This therapist charges a premium hourly rate, and specialises in working with vulnerable people (including children) which I think makes this even more concerning.

The therapist in question has a long history, going back to childhood, of severe mental illness. This includes multiple suicide attempts (some very recent) and several diagnosed mental illnesses, including a personality disorder. I won’t say which, again for fear of outing myself or this individual. They have also been investigated by social services and the police on numerous occasions, again spanning decades, due to the behaviour they have exhibited as a result of their poor mental health. In the past year, they were investigated by social services, who found that they are emotionally manipulative, abusive and dishonest. This report was then sent to the father’s of her children (she has multiple children with different fathers, I believe this is also part of her mental illness and self-destruction). As a result of this, one of the father’s took her to court and she lost custody of one of her children…she is allowed contact with them but the child has been put in the care of their father.

Throughout the years I have gently asked if they feel any of this impacts their role as a therapist. The person in question has said that they are very good at separating their personal and work life, and that they would never behave poorly towards a client. However, I fail to see how all of this cannot materially affect their work as it has such a profound impact on their daily life and those around them. I would be horrified if I was paying an exorbitant amount (or even seeing her for free) with all of this background knowledge.

I have researched it and it appears that therapists can operate unchecked, there does not appear to be any safeguards, effectively anyone can become a self-employed therapist. Yes it is up to clients to do their due diligence - for example I would request a DBS - but there is nobody overseeing therapists and therefore there would be no way for a client to have access to any of this information.

AIBU to think this is wrong and that anyone working with vulnerable people needs to be on some sort of register or have some sort of governing body?

I remember as a late teen saying I'd be interested in becoming a therapist and my DF immediately responded that I hadn't been through enough trauma for that! I pressed him a bit and the therapists he'd encountered socially had all suffered very serious personal tragedies. He felt he felt that you needed to experience something like that to be able to counsel others.

Interesting view as of course you can be empathetic without having directly experienced something, and even if a therapist has been through a certain type of trauma they will likely counsel people in other areas too. But I suspect he's not alone in that line of thinking.

In your situation I would probably let them be as I would hope any issues with their ability to practice would naturally be brought to a head by the system.

Just mind your business, don’t ruin their job

I work with vulnerable people, it's a salaried position, so there is "money involved". I also have a life-long diagnosis and a history of severe mental health episodes.

I have a completely clean DBS, which is all that matters when it comes to my suitability or otherwise to work with vulnerable people.

Why is this the case?

Well, because my mental health history is of no more relevance than my physical health history, it's simply not my employer's business, and it's certainly not the business of any of the individuals I work with as a colleague, or as a service provider. It is also absolutely nothing to do with random members of the public, even those who would claim to just be legitimately concerned.

I'm qualified to do my job, I'm legally permitted to do my job. These are the only relevant factors.

Every person I know has their own issues, you’ll never find someone that doesn’t have a past. The important thing is how they deal with those issues. They should be stable and emotionally well now, take themselves out of practice if their mental health deteriorates and be prepared to go back into therapy (and have the self awareness to know when it’s time to do so). These are ethical requirements for all registering bodies.

I’d never see a therapist that hasn’t had their own, extensive, therapy - well beyond what most courses ask for. I’d want to know where they trained and to what level, what their supervision arrangements are and what experience they have - one year working 2/3 days a week or 5 years seeing a couple of clients a week are very different.

At the end of the day people need to be prepared to ask questions of any therapist - a good therapist will be happy to talk through their level of training and their professional supports with a prospective client. And yes, knowing you need therapy to deal with the impact of the work on you is actually a strength. Posting about it on social media on the other hand…

Being well enough to do your job is also relevant, and is nothing to do with qualifications and legal permission. I’m not saying that someone with complex mental illness can’t be well enough to work with vulnerable people, but they do need a way of knowing when they need to take a step back.

Cute though and it has brightened my morning!

In the past year, they were investigated by social services, who found that they are emotionally manipulative, abusive and dishonest.
I personally wouldn't be happy with someone like this giving therapy to my children, although it seems some on this thread would be fine with it and don't see the problem.

How would you even know the information about SS involvement unless there had been a serious privacy breach?

I think people are questioning whether this is true or simply the OPs opinion. It doesn't sound like they like this person very much, and the comments they've made about social services involvement suggests she is making a lot of assumptions about their role or view.

As an adoptive parent of two highly complex children who are among society’s most vulnerable, I would rather a therapist who was ‘flawed’ or rather human and who had lived experience and greater insight into the types of issues faced by my family. Better that than the ‘therapist’ who lived an apparently idyllic life and who articulated at every session that my AD1, now an adult, could be ‘fixed’ if only I loved her a bit more. Such harmful BS that detonated a grenade into my family set-up.

I agree that all counsellors/therapists should have to register to use the title and follow the kind of professional practices you describe.

An entire industry has grown up around therapy, counselling and related areas (“life coaching”) - you can’t turnaround these days without seeing adverts for therapists. As with the diet industry - where there is money in the game, there will be cons and abuse.

We see a similar problem with “nutritionists” in food and diet - another unregulated title requiring no qualifications or experience despite offering people expensive and sometimes dangerous solutions to their concerns.

The therapist themself might have told people

I know this to be true because the person told me themselves. They then followed this up by telling me that the findings were wrong and they were suing social services. They have little introspection and self-awareness in my experience, which as others have mentioned on here, seems a common feature of personality disorders.

It sounds awful, I know someone very similar. However, seeing as they’ve lived the life, that is the very reason as to why they can do the job.

Despite what people on this thread may believe, I genuinely want the best for this person as they’ve had a very difficult life, but I also want to protect vulnerable members of the public. I’m not sure they have the capacity for self-regulation.

Lived the life or living the life?

Well if you believe personality disorders exist, then you have to recognise that you cannot be cured so you would have to be “living the life” surely?

Which is why I’m asking people whether the therapists they know experienced mental health difficulties in the past (which they may have overcome) or having ongoing mental health difficulties which are causing issues in their present day and will continue to do so in the future. They are two very different situations.

I agree it is concerning. There's not really anything to be done, but it highlights how therapy is such a lottery, being so unregulated. From my own direct experience and experience of loved ones undergoing therapy, there are a lot of good ones but also some terrible ones that can do a lot of damage. Of course your own mental health informs your practice, in fact I know of one case close to me where the therapist broke off the therapy mid way through due to their own mental issues and it had a real impact on the patient. (And this is not getting at people with MH issues, I've struggled with them myself and don't believe they are a barrier to most things in any way.)

Yeah that's not that weird. They get into therapy through receiving it. Then decide to do it professionally. It should mean they understand what it's like for their clients?

It's evident that you don't understand what you've been told, given you talked about the threshold for social services removal when referring to a dad initiating private proceedings to gain residency. As I said earlier in the thread it's unfair to conflate the two things.