Size 18 and Happy - Anyone Else Not Wanting to Lose Weight?”

[Dancingflamingos]

I’m a size 18 and, honestly, I’m happy at this size. I don’t feel the need to lose weight, but people keep suggesting weight-loss jabs to me, which I find frustrating. I did try calorie counting for a while, but it became very restrictive and unenjoyable, and it just wasn’t something I wanted to continue.

I was actually very slim as a child, teenager, and into my early 20s. From my mid-20s onwards I gradually put weight on, and after having my son at 29, it became very hard to shift the excess weight. Over time, I’ve kind of embraced where my body has settled.

Physically, I’m healthy: my heart rate is very good, my blood pressure is normal, and I feel well. I have a great sex life, my DH finds me attractive, and I’ve never experienced rudeness from strangers. If anything, I still get men looking at me and women smiling, and I often receive compliments on my appearance - especially how I dress.

I love fashion. I live in midi dresses, skirts and boots, and I enjoy wearing bright colours and novelty earrings. I’m 5’7”, which probably helps, and I’ve often been told I “carry my weight well.” Most people assume I’m a size 14/16 (I have big boobs though!)

What I struggle with is the feeling that there’s something wrong with me because I don’t aspire to be skinny or slim. I was brought up with the idea that fat = bad, and I don’t want to carry that mindset through my life. When I think about my grandmas, they were both rounder women - warm and cuddly

My DS, who is 7, recently said he doesn’t want me to do calorie counting to lose weight because he wants me to stay cuddly. That really stuck with me.

I guess I’m just wondering if anyone else feels this way - comfortable in their body, not chasing weight loss, and trying to unlearn the idea that thinner is always better.

Op has anyone in Rl actually suggested you go on WLI? Let alone multiple people

Completely. I am a size 12/14. Lots of my friend who are similar/slightly smaller are constantly talking about their size and weight. I exercise (running and weight training). I eat healthily generally whilst also enjoying regular treats. I’m very happy the way I am.

There's nothing to say you can't choose to remain fat, that's a valid choice and up to you.

I would just be aware that the way you feel now, healthy, won't always be the case, often with obesity related health conditions as you get older they start to show up, for example years of your joints carrying around so much excess weight can lead to knee problems, and by the time it presents a lot of the damage has been done.

It's also the case that obese parents are more likely to find their children become obese. If you lost weight then you'd be a healthier role model for your son, he is already equating being fat with something positive, and will no doubt have noticed your eating/movement habits.

You might be fine with being obese, can you honestly say that you'd be completely fine with your child growing up obese?

It's a choice you can make but don't lose sight of the reasons why it is important to maintain a healthy weight, it's not really about whether strangers smile at you or you enjoy fashion. It's about your life, the longevity of it, how many good quality years you have, being a higher risk of obesity-related illnesses, and the impact on your son.

There's nothing wrong with being happy at whatever weight you are @Dancingflamingos . However that doesn't mean you shouldn't try to become a more healthy weight though.

A cautionary tale - I was like you up until just over a year ago. Didn't care at all that I was overweight, I thought I still looked good, DP was happy with the way I looked, I was fairly fit and active, cycled to work every day, could do a 15 mile hike easily, played rugby, didn't get puffed out easily. Yeah, I could have lost weight, but I liked food too much, and just didn't have the willpower.

And then one day I was rubbing one eye, and noticed I had a little blank spot in the other eye (actually it looked like pac-man). Assumed it was a floater, but it didn't go away in a couple of weeks, so went to the opticians, then the doctor. Turned out I was type 2 diabetic. Not even pre-diabetic, but proper full blown diabetic, blood sugar levels through the roof.

Long story short, I got put on Metformin, lost 40lbs in 6 months, came back off the drugs and my blood sugar levels have been normal since last March.

Got a few little blank spots in the other eye before I managed that though. And they're there for ever. They're not noticeable most of the time, if I'm just looking around. They are if I'm reading though, I've got missing letters jumping around in my peripheral vision. And it could get worse at any time. Even though my blood sugar levels are normal now, there's still a chance those weakened blood vessels could sustain more damage.

I spent years being happy with my weight, blissfully ignoring the unseen damage it was doing to me. It took something I could actually see to make me realise how badly I'd fucked up.

I can eat on WLI. I've never had a single side effect. I've lost 3 and a half stone.

The injection gives me willpower and the ability to stick to 1200 calories a day.

so my only ‘vice’ is food I guess.

what kind of daily diet do you have @Dancingflamingos ?

Now I see this just for the WLI bashing thread it was always intended to be.

I know numerous people on the jabs and other than when starting out this does not ring true for any of them.

I also don’t know a single person - myself included - who was happier at a size 18 than a size 10 and who didn’t want to lose the weight when they were an 18.

I do however know a couple of overweight people who are for various reasons refusing to try the jabs, and are being really unpleasant and shitty about anyone who has listened to weight losing them.

I’d be scared to start the jabs then come off them if I got used to the suppression. Oh and I can’t afford them.
I am taking on board the comments about the future and that’s not to say I wouldn’t consider it then.
But at the moment I’m focusing on keeping fit and active and eating good foods, including lots of protein.

Best way, Best not to start anything until you want to, and can afford it. Do what makes you happy. 😉

The reason your friends feel so sick and burpy and disgusting is likely that they’re eating shit while on WLI and their dosage is too high.

I haven’t had any side effects, eat two normal sized meals a day. No burping, no toilet issues, no nausea, no stomach pain. Slight lightheaded feeling occasionally. I even ate a whole pizza on a rare meal out last week and enjoyed it.

I was like this for a bit and enjoyed feeling free to eat whatever I wanted and genuinely didn’t care. I love food! Then got too big and lost it all years ago and I’ve had to control myself every day since. I do miss eating whatever the hell I wanted. It’s no-ones fucking business and they shouldn’t be saying anything to you.

I understand what you mean OP. I am around 16/18 but before having a family was always a 12. I am 5ft 7 too and carry it well because of my height. My blood pressure has always been low (I get an annual health check at my local health centre) and have had a chronic health issue since I have been in my late teens. On paper other aspects of my health indicates I am well. I reckon I have three stones to lose to get back to how I was years ago but due to various stresses in my life I am not really motivated to do anything serious about it at the moment. I eat healthily and don't drink or smoke which is at least a positive.

Also meant to add my cholesterol level is checked annually and always within healthy limits - apparently "perfect" I get told. I do eat a bowlful of porridge every day.

Why have you not answered who all these people are that suggest you go on WLI?

You refer to food as your “vice”. What kind of food do you eat for you to regard it as your “vice”?

Every post of @Dancingflamingos very much points to someone not happy or at all comfortable with their weight, but tying themselves up in knots about lots of side issues

So why see food as your “vice” then

God there's a lot of fat bashing on here.

Can you quote? I don’t see one

@Andflop
That I can’t afford weight loss injections and I’d be worried what would happen once I come off them.

One question - who are the people suggesting WLI?

and another… but if you’re so happy with your weight, why are you even thinking about WLI?

Fat bashing or being realistic about the dangers of being obese?

@Andflop my friends who are on the injections are going on about how magical they are.

A couple of friends who are suffering side effects is not indicative of everybody’s experience at all.
Many have zero side effects and eat normally, myself included.
However, you should do what makes you feel best.

Much of mumsnet seems to detest anything positive being said about being larger than a size 12, and even that isn’t considered slim enough here.
If you feel guilt about being a happy size 18 asking mumsnet will only reinforce that feeling.

But you say they are experiencing hellish side effects

Surely the problem isn't that you look OK in clothes and no one really notices that you're fat? Surely the problem is your visceral fat? It's very dangerous and if you THINK you are looking a bit fat then it's pretty likely that you have a lot of visceral fat

If I were 5 ft 7 and size 18, I'd be pretty sure I had a lot of internal fat stores, waiting to kill me

Why are you so bothered about what everyone else thinks? It's what you think and believe which matters