Size 18 and Happy - Anyone Else Not Wanting to Lose Weight?”

[Dancingflamingos]

I’m a size 18 and, honestly, I’m happy at this size. I don’t feel the need to lose weight, but people keep suggesting weight-loss jabs to me, which I find frustrating. I did try calorie counting for a while, but it became very restrictive and unenjoyable, and it just wasn’t something I wanted to continue.

I was actually very slim as a child, teenager, and into my early 20s. From my mid-20s onwards I gradually put weight on, and after having my son at 29, it became very hard to shift the excess weight. Over time, I’ve kind of embraced where my body has settled.

Physically, I’m healthy: my heart rate is very good, my blood pressure is normal, and I feel well. I have a great sex life, my DH finds me attractive, and I’ve never experienced rudeness from strangers. If anything, I still get men looking at me and women smiling, and I often receive compliments on my appearance - especially how I dress.

I love fashion. I live in midi dresses, skirts and boots, and I enjoy wearing bright colours and novelty earrings. I’m 5’7”, which probably helps, and I’ve often been told I “carry my weight well.” Most people assume I’m a size 14/16 (I have big boobs though!)

What I struggle with is the feeling that there’s something wrong with me because I don’t aspire to be skinny or slim. I was brought up with the idea that fat = bad, and I don’t want to carry that mindset through my life. When I think about my grandmas, they were both rounder women - warm and cuddly

My DS, who is 7, recently said he doesn’t want me to do calorie counting to lose weight because he wants me to stay cuddly. That really stuck with me.

I guess I’m just wondering if anyone else feels this way - comfortable in their body, not chasing weight loss, and trying to unlearn the idea that thinner is always better.

I thought it was the answer - it’s possible to live a normal, active life, be reasonably healthy eating wise and still be slightly overweight in a BMI sense.

I’m just curious who all these people are who are suggesting you try WLI? Do they just rock up and say hey, if you want to lose weight you should try WLI? And who all the people telling you that you carry your weight well?

It was your answer.

Not the poster to which I asked

Why do you think she wouldn't be heavy enough at a size 18 :/

Oh sorry, I didn’t realise she was on trial at the stand.

It was a question.

one question.

calm down

I’m lying in bed scrolling MN, if I was much calmer I’d slip into a coma. I suspect the answer will be similar to mine, anyway, but I shall permit the accused poster to answer you 😂

Thanks
Apology accepted

ps love your username

Such a bloody effort to remain right at the top of my normal bmi at 50. Intermittent fasting exercise two meals a day no snacks. Can kind of see why you’d think sod that!

It is an effort for me too at 54 ( not on WLI).

I’m 5’7”, size 16 close to 18 and I’m carrying at least 3stone excess, though also look slimmer. It’s all excess fat.
i cant be happy knowing that this extra weight may not be causing me problems now - aside from screwing up ability to buy nice clothes - but WILL cause future problems. Sorry, there’s just no getting away from it. To be honest, I’m a pig and overeat, and snack like a teenager - I don’t just ‘enjoy’ my food. Are you being truly honest? Like you I’m reasonably satisfied so don’t do much about it , which I suppose is better than beating myself up
but yes, cheeky f*ckers telling you to take WLI! That’s a firm FO

Physically, I’m healthy: my heart rate is very good, my blood pressure is normal, and I feel well.

That's the important thing. As long as you are monitoring your health (I don't mean obsessively, but keeping an eye on it) I think it's fine to stay at a weight you're happy with.

You are in your mid-30s from what you've said, so be aware that things may change in the next 10 years, as health issues can start to kick in when you reach perimenopause, especially aches and pains that can be exacerbated by being heavy. You might be lucky - genes play a bigger part in all health-issues than some people like to admit - but be alert for any health changes so you can take steps if needed.

Do exactly what you want, you’re young and your body is healthy. When you get older and start to notice the effects of every extra pound on your hormones in peri and menopause there’s room to change your mind.

I am apparently obese according to my BMI of 30. Im 5ft 6 and in a size 12. I do cross fit 2-3 times a week, and teach several exercise classes, I walk a couple of times a week briskly for 30 minutes. I avoid UPF and cook mostly from scratch. I intermittent fasting 16 hours a day. I am also perimenopausal. In a year I suddenly gained a tyre around my middle. I do over eat sometimes, but I am mindful of doing this too much. I used to be able to eat anything and stay the same weight but then my 40s hit and everything changed. I would say I am pretty healthy, I enjoy my food and my lifestyle is healthy so Im not going to beat myself up too much. But it goes to show that BMI is not infallible.

I wouldnt be making decisions about my long term health based on a 7 yr old wanting me to stay 'cuddly'.
Id be weighing up the risk of future diabetes, heart disease and cancer and trying to ensure I was here and healthy for as long as possible.
But WLI aren't the only way to achieve that

I am happy with my weight too. I am a healthy BMI... and because I am genuinely ok with my body I don't feel the need to justify it!

It's much harder to lose it in your 40s and above than your 30s. I didn't manage to do it before my 40s and not without WLI so I'm not being glib but I never 'gave up' and accepted being fat. If I had, I'd have been a lot fatter. It's just short sighted to say you're fine being obese now because you're young and have no obvious health problems.

Her body isn't healthy. An obese body isn't healthy.

What's the issue? You're obese and have a tyre of fat around your middle. Your health is being impacted by your body fat. The rest of it is a limited protective factor but doesn't mean your health isn't being impacted by your weight.

You're a healthy BMI. Your situation isn't the same as the OP.

Yeah life's too short for that. I'm just on the cusp of overweight/obese but I refuse to make myself miserable by fasting/calorie counting/not eating nice things (or to supress my appetite with drugs - I enjoy eating) I'm focussing on doing plenty of exercise and filling my plate with lots of vegetables (which I enjoy) and less carbs/meat (which I can take or leave) But I'm not giving up chocolate or biscuits.

My dear MIL was always doing weightwatchers or slimmers world, and worrying about her weight, non smoker, barely drank. She died at 54. My FIL smokes, drinks (used to regularly drink to excess) and eats takeaways and processed food, he's 80 this year and in pretty good health for it (no mobility problems, no serious illness).

So I conclude life is for enjoying and I intend to. You never know how long you've got.

And how exactly do you know OP is obese? There is a difference between overweight and obese you know. Honestly, so many MNers are so judgemental when it comes to weight, it's beyond boring.

Incidentally the last time I was at the medical centre an elderly woman was weighed and the nurse was giving her advice on how to put some weight on. Being stick like isn't always healthy.

I’m not overweight, but I share your annoyance about WLI.

I think they are a great tool for people to lose weight, but why do I have to be included in the conversation?

Last year 1 lost 2.5 stone through a diet I did. I’ve had no end of people saying but must be WLI and that I’m lying.

What I am trying to say is that it’s now the default setting for everything.

She wears a size 18. She's either obese or carries enough weight on her top half that she has the same health risks as an obese person.
Nobody sensible is claiming that being underweight is healthy. But there is a vast range of healthy from BMI 18 to around 26 especially in older women. 27+ is ALWAYS a health risk.

It’s entirely up to you. And people shouldn’t stick their beaks in or make suggestions.

But don’t pretend to yourself there aren’t any health risks. The health risks of being significantly overweight are well proven. Sure, there are some exceptions, like those people who smoke 2 packs a day and live to 90 nonetheless. Doesn’t mean smoking is actually fine.