Size 18 and Happy - Anyone Else Not Wanting to Lose Weight?”

[Dancingflamingos]

I’m a size 18 and, honestly, I’m happy at this size. I don’t feel the need to lose weight, but people keep suggesting weight-loss jabs to me, which I find frustrating. I did try calorie counting for a while, but it became very restrictive and unenjoyable, and it just wasn’t something I wanted to continue.

I was actually very slim as a child, teenager, and into my early 20s. From my mid-20s onwards I gradually put weight on, and after having my son at 29, it became very hard to shift the excess weight. Over time, I’ve kind of embraced where my body has settled.

Physically, I’m healthy: my heart rate is very good, my blood pressure is normal, and I feel well. I have a great sex life, my DH finds me attractive, and I’ve never experienced rudeness from strangers. If anything, I still get men looking at me and women smiling, and I often receive compliments on my appearance - especially how I dress.

I love fashion. I live in midi dresses, skirts and boots, and I enjoy wearing bright colours and novelty earrings. I’m 5’7”, which probably helps, and I’ve often been told I “carry my weight well.” Most people assume I’m a size 14/16 (I have big boobs though!)

What I struggle with is the feeling that there’s something wrong with me because I don’t aspire to be skinny or slim. I was brought up with the idea that fat = bad, and I don’t want to carry that mindset through my life. When I think about my grandmas, they were both rounder women - warm and cuddly

My DS, who is 7, recently said he doesn’t want me to do calorie counting to lose weight because he wants me to stay cuddly. That really stuck with me.

I guess I’m just wondering if anyone else feels this way - comfortable in their body, not chasing weight loss, and trying to unlearn the idea that thinner is always better.

BMI also isn’t the be all and end all. It should really be combined with waist to height ratio for a fuller picture.

Eg a BMI of 27 is overweight but if OP’s WTH is 0.40-0.49 then the risks of overweight or obesity are much lower than if her WTH is over 0.5.

I was like you in my twenties and thirties OP. Then all of a sudden I was fifty with ruined knees, high blood pressure and constant fatigue.

I am now in my sixties, I have lost stones with Mounjaro, which I have financed myself, and I could cry with happiness at how much my life has improved.

All I want now is knee replacement.

It's really up to you. I would just say that I am your height exactly and in menopause have gone up from a 10-12 to a 14. When I am a 14, I feel it on my knees.

Excess weight- even a bit- wears you down in your fifties. But maybe that's just me.

I went from BMI 32 to BMI 25 early last year.

I was very happy at BMI 32, I had a good life, with a happy family, close friends and financial security. So I understand what you mean. I’m also 5’7 and “carried it well”, so never got sneered at. Life was good!

For me it was about health because at 52, I realised kind of suddenly that I could be in trouble if I didn’t lose some weight. That’s why I started WLI. I’m still a happy and fortunate person, the only difference is that my risk of certain diseases has decreased.

So I get what you mean, OP.

I was doing an exercise dvd about 10 years ago and the presenter said if you kept with it you would tone up and change your body, and DD (about 8 at the time) said "im glad its not working for you mum!" 🤣🤣
(I wasnt overweight but wanted - and still do - to lose a few pounds)

I mean this kindly, OP. I think that when larger women wear things like novelty earrings it is almost buying into this stereotype of the wacky fat woman. Size 18 isn’t massively overweight and perhaps toning things down sartorially will really complement you.

You are living life to the full so just enjoy it.

I’m a UK size 18/20 and not obese, for whatever BMI is worth, so don’t jump to conclusions.

I attend a wonderful exercise class that is about building strength rather than loosing weight. All the women in the class are different shapes and sizes but working on their fitness. It’s made me realise that the perfect model figure is unattainable for most of us. We need to concentrate on health and strength.

It’s actually fascinating how many variations of body types there are. Some women have pert bottoms but flabby arms, others have broad shoulders but skinny legs. It’s impossible for us all to look the perceived perfect media image of women. Embrace what you are!

I don’t think weight in and of itself is the issue more the consequences eg higher inflammation / cholesterol / heart calcification / blood sugar control . If you are happy that these are all good then it’s just cosmetic .

It’s interesting to me the different circles that people move in. I don’t know a single person who is using WLI and I don’t talk about weight or diets with my circle of friends. It’s fascinating that you have multiple people suggesting that you lose weight and specifically that you should use WLI to do so.

If you are healthy (eg low cholesterol, normal blood sugars) and you are not obese or significantly overweight then I would agree that you don’t need to be concerned about losing any weight if you don’t want to. But it is undeniable that being obese or significantly overweight is riskier for your health than being in the healthy weight range, whether that’s measured by bmi or waist to height ratio, waist to hip ratio etc.

I'm a size 8-10, I'm not short either but my BMI is around 25, I've had people (friends!) ask me if I'd consider WLI and I was a bit taken aback that they viewed me that way, it really shook up my self image as I was happy with where I was so I understand your thoughts OP. I thought I was thin but now I'm scrutinising every angle which is a bit depressing when you are fit and healthy, I exercise 4-5 times a week so I'm feeling a bit low about it.

I’m exactly the same height and clothes size as you. Am perfectly happy and comfortable.
Been the same ish size all my life.

Not sure why you are so certain OP is now "obese". For all we know she is in the "overweight" range, just like you are.

Omg that’s insane! I took them to get from a BMI of 27 (with high cholesterol) to 22, roughly size 12 to 8.
i’m embarassed to admit it as I wasn’t “fat”.

I find it incredibly difficult to believe that anyone wearing a size 20 top is not obese tbh.

A size 20 is, to be frank, very large indeed. I can't quite envision how you could be a size 20 and 'only' a couple of stone overweight.

It’s fine to accept the trade offs of being overweight if you prefer it. Lots of people make sub optimal choices when it comes to their health (drinking alcohol, smoking etc). If you’re happy with the risks / trade offs then it’s fine.

I think your name might be the giveaway!
I am overweight (size 14-16) but know its because I am a greedy fucker. Managing to reduce it very slowly through intermittent fasting and exercise.
OP if used dyo not mind but seeing my equally fat older friends getting more an more health issues has made me try and turn it round.

i mean I sometimes need a 20 top for boobs but I wouldn’t say I’m VERY large
fat, yes

I am a similar size and shape and mostly fine with it though I do think I would be more attractive slimmer. My health is good and I am active.

No you didn't mean it "kindly" at all.
She can wear whatever jewellery makes her happy.
Nasty comment.

Your happy and thats all that matters.
Appearance and dress size are important to you.

But your still overweight.
Your an adult, you understand the associated risks.

You choose how you live your life, its your life.

This is a quote from a previous poster, for sime reason the qute facility was not working
"Imean this kindly, OP. I think that when larger women wear things like novelty earrings it is almost buying into this stereotype of the wacky fat woman. Size 18 isn’t massively overweight and perhaps toning things down sartorially will really complement you.
You are living life to the full so just enjoy it."

Trust me you did not mean this kindly, you were bitching. The comment was nasty and unhelpful.
I am a size 16, 5ft 5ins, and late 60s. I love my figure. I dress well, and when the occasion calls for it, I wear big earings that are funky. I totally ignore idiots like the poster who I quoted, it was ignorant and her own biased opinion.

I will also add, I am considered overweight and given my age I have good blood pressure and no diabetes. So I will carry on enjoying my food, and keeping on the go.

I think if you are happy then great. Plus size 18 is hardly huge if you are tall.

My BMI is in the “overweight” category. The top end, but it’s still not officially “obese”. I carry all my excess weight in my torso, my arms and legs are pretty slim, hence why I need wider clothes.

Sorry you find it incredulous but it’s true.

How :/