Size 18 and Happy - Anyone Else Not Wanting to Lose Weight?”

[Dancingflamingos]

I’m a size 18 and, honestly, I’m happy at this size. I don’t feel the need to lose weight, but people keep suggesting weight-loss jabs to me, which I find frustrating. I did try calorie counting for a while, but it became very restrictive and unenjoyable, and it just wasn’t something I wanted to continue.

I was actually very slim as a child, teenager, and into my early 20s. From my mid-20s onwards I gradually put weight on, and after having my son at 29, it became very hard to shift the excess weight. Over time, I’ve kind of embraced where my body has settled.

Physically, I’m healthy: my heart rate is very good, my blood pressure is normal, and I feel well. I have a great sex life, my DH finds me attractive, and I’ve never experienced rudeness from strangers. If anything, I still get men looking at me and women smiling, and I often receive compliments on my appearance - especially how I dress.

I love fashion. I live in midi dresses, skirts and boots, and I enjoy wearing bright colours and novelty earrings. I’m 5’7”, which probably helps, and I’ve often been told I “carry my weight well.” Most people assume I’m a size 14/16 (I have big boobs though!)

What I struggle with is the feeling that there’s something wrong with me because I don’t aspire to be skinny or slim. I was brought up with the idea that fat = bad, and I don’t want to carry that mindset through my life. When I think about my grandmas, they were both rounder women - warm and cuddly

My DS, who is 7, recently said he doesn’t want me to do calorie counting to lose weight because he wants me to stay cuddly. That really stuck with me.

I guess I’m just wondering if anyone else feels this way - comfortable in their body, not chasing weight loss, and trying to unlearn the idea that thinner is always better.

Im aware I could have a lower risk to my health if I lost a stone but since I am happy living a healthy balanced lifestyle both physically and mentally and I dont want to spend my days counting calories then I am happy to accept this is where my body has settled at this stage in my life. If my fat goes down as I improve my strength and CV health further then great. If it doesnt then fine too. My point was that BMI isn't accurate, especially when you are muscular. I am not obese. If you saw me you would see that I have an athletic frame with a bit of extra fat on my tummy and bum. Im a size 12.

Well, having just got back from my 40 minute swim (3rd this week, plus a spin class), I can honestly say that I feel no guilt at the extra weight. Of course I'd like to be slimmer, but not at the cost of starving myself. I'm fitter and healthier than lots of people younger than me.

It’s a very personal choice but there are significant health risks that are associated with being overweight.

I would try the WLIs. If you decide you don’t enjoy being a fitter healthier size 10 or 12 you can always come off them and put the weight back on again. That way you’ll have eliminated any ‘what if’s’ and ‘shoulda woulda coulda’s’ in case your health ever saw any issues due to obesity in the future and you regretted ever trying? It’s surprising what a difference it makes having more energy and not feeling puffy or lethargic which does happen often if you’re overweight.

To be fair the food that makes you fat is crap like biscuits and granola etc. Well it is for me.

Ive really tried to turn it round since I came out as overweight at a medical in November. Lost 6kg so bmi now 24 not 26. It is motivating. It’s worth giving up the biscuits for.

I was a size 18 last summer. I’m 5’6 and have broad shoulders and big boobs. I’ve lost 2 stone since last summer and I’m now a size 14. People are saying you’re obese but my starting BMI was 31, only just into the obese category. I’m now officially just ‘overweight’ but people are commenting on how slim I am. Bodies are different shapes and sizes and people weigh different amounts.

I feel fine as I am now and am focussing on fitness. I’m not bothered about being a smaller size, and I’m not sure it’s even possible. I have a large frame and have never been a size 10 and my weight is still higher than many would think is ok.

I had no health issues either OP and I’m much older than you. But what I would say is don’t dismiss losing some weight altogether. It’s not a choice between fat or skinny, there is a happy medium. I feel so much better having lost a couple of stone. My clothes fit better, I look better and although I felt fit, I realise that I am fitter and have more energy. It’s definitely been a positive for me.

I’ve lost 5 stone, gone from a size 18 to a size 8. One of the things that shocked me was how much I hadn’t realised how sore I was a lot of the time. Getting out of bed my knees would hurt, everything would hurt. I was always blaming the mattress but it was the weight.

I went away on a camping sort of trip recently and shared with 5 other women, all of whom I would say were size 18+. The snoring was out of this world. I snored too when I was fat, and stopped entirely now I am slimmer, and it was a real kind of wake-up call for me that it’s just so bad for the body. The fat is literally stopping you breathing normally.

You might feel healthy now but carrying that excess weight around for years will definitely put a strain on your heart and joints.

BMI is a broadly accurate indicator of weight and health outcomes. As a middle aged woman working out as a leisure activity I highly doubt you are muscular enough for it to have any impact on its accuracy - that is reserved for professional athletes training for particular sports. It is of course your choice if you wish to continue to carry the health risks associated with being obese.

Wow!
Good for you.

The biggest motivator for me was my two girls. I didn’t want to spend their childhood being too big to go on rides, do active things, always be the fat mum squeezing into things or not being able to go on soft play with them, struggle to walk around theme parks all day or be boiling and sweating in the sun. I also want to model healthy bodies, not weight specifically, but it’s important to me they grow up in a household with healthy attitudes to exercise and food, and that being a healthy weight is their ‘normal’ environment.

And I also want to be around and as fit for as long as I can. I don’t want to be the gran who can’t do anything cos her knees are knackered from carrying around 5-6 extra stone for years, or the gran who dies at 60.

Re BMI and muscular women.

I’m very muscular. According to dexa done 18 months ago top 15% plus have gained more muscle since then. For reference I can deadlift 2x bodyweight, bench bodyweight etc

However, even for me the extra muscle is not likely to be more than 4-5kg and hence barely impacts BMI. Yes maybe overweight not until 27 rather than 25, perhaps but it’s marginal. I think you’d have to be taking steroids before muscle really does have an impact.

Well for me, I am always trying to maintain a healthy weight and lifestyle.

Thinner is not always better, however as a size 18 you are not as healthy as you would be as a size 16.

Try to find a healthy average as you are young now, but in coming years you will find that you will put more weight on and find it hard to maintain a healthy weight.

Exactly
I'm muscular. My body is smaller overall now at 11 stone than it was when I was 25 and 10.5 stone (tried on my wedding dress to see!) but all of my excess weight is still fat.

Ive always been heavy for my build. Even at 15 years old when I was extremely slim size 8. I was 10.5 stone. Im now 13.5 stone and a size 12. Yes I am carrying a bit of extra fat on my tummy, I am not disputing I am overweight, but I am certainly not obese. My best friend weighs only a few pounds more than me and her BMI is the same but our body composition is very different. BMI can be used as a guide but also waist height ratio is important. Mine is .53 so slightly elevated. Below .5 is low risk, above .6 is high risk. I need to lose a few cm round my waist to be in optimal health. But if I stay where I am I'm still not high risk.

I don't want to be remembered as cuddly 😂

Because with my stats I wasn't heavy enough to get WLI even privately without underlying conditions (which I had so qualified at BMI 28.8), and at my weight then most people would be a size 18- I was and am fit, narrow build and solid so heavy for my size. Now I'm a size ten and most women who are 11st and 5'7" and more like a 12/14. I can get away with a small 12 but 14s are definitely too big.

I did try calorie counting for a while, but it became very restrictive and unenjoyable, and it just wasn’t something I wanted to continue.

So why did you try it? You were actively trying to lose weight and it was "too hard?" - Does this mean if it was easier you would have continued?

Your weight is your business. That said, It does sound like you are not actually happy where you are.

Thanks for all the replies.

I guess there’s an element of should I actually feel happy with being overweight? I think that’s where this feeling of insecurity is coming from. And then questioning and doubting myself due to the society we live in.

I don’t drink alcohol at all, I don’t drink any fizzy pop, I drink water and 1 or 2 cups of tea a day (not a coffee fan) and I don’t smoke, so my only ‘vice’ is food I guess.
I am trying to be more active , but not from a weight loss position. Just to be healthier.

I have a couple of friends on WLIs and of course I’d be lying if I said I hadn’t even thought about it. But I do wonder if they are ‘healthier’ than me.
One can’t eat for over 24h and when they do eat something it’s usually something processed and a Dr Pepper or Coke. I saw this person yesterday and they hadn’t eaten since the day before and looked dreadful. I know this isn’t the case for everyone. I mean they have lost a significant amount of weight but I wouldn’t say it was the healthiest way to do it, in their case.

Kindly, I don’t think you would write a status about how happy you are being large if you were actually happy with your size.

You see a lot of people on here saying a size 18 is healthy. It isn’t. You get all the other overweight people jumping on the bandwagon and saying how great they feel being larger to convince one another that it’s ok.

If you could click your fingers and be a size 10, would you? I think most people would.

There's some horrible smug comments on here. I was the unhappiest when I was a size 10 in my life. Happiest when I've been a little larger. My mum has been a size 18 since her 20s, she has always looked beautiful, has the personality and confidence to carry it off and hasn't suffered health problems now she's in her 70s.

I would not be happy being obese, no. It’s a huge risk to your health in the future.

Good for you.
I was just chatting to a doctor I know yesterday and she said she thinks we’re going to see a lot of metabolic illness in 10-20yrs from the WLIs and she would rather people were slightly overweight if all the health markers are good, so it sounds like you’re making the right choice.

Your people are doing it badly, they don’t have to. It’s possible to use WLI to support a healthy balanced diet. You don’t have to eat next to nothing to lose weight. I have done it on 1600 ish calories a day and have never been healthier. I was far bigger than you to start as well.

I'm not sure they would, I know some people where being a size 10 would look very aging!

I stuck some Tanita scales results into ChatGTP and got it to calculate my physiological body mass floor (having been "big-boned" all my life) and mine is 75kg, which would make my BMI probably around 30.

Losing more weight than that would result in significant muscle mass loss and at middle 50s, that's a terrible idea.

Honestly, concentrate on being mobile, strong and getting some element of CV work done, improve your body comp and you'll get denser anyway.

I'm training someone just now and she's made amazing progress with dropping weight and it's now at a point where it's conflicting with her other goals. So I discussed all of this with her and she's now going to concentrate on CV/weight training.