Size 18 and Happy - Anyone Else Not Wanting to Lose Weight?”

[Dancingflamingos]

I’m a size 18 and, honestly, I’m happy at this size. I don’t feel the need to lose weight, but people keep suggesting weight-loss jabs to me, which I find frustrating. I did try calorie counting for a while, but it became very restrictive and unenjoyable, and it just wasn’t something I wanted to continue.

I was actually very slim as a child, teenager, and into my early 20s. From my mid-20s onwards I gradually put weight on, and after having my son at 29, it became very hard to shift the excess weight. Over time, I’ve kind of embraced where my body has settled.

Physically, I’m healthy: my heart rate is very good, my blood pressure is normal, and I feel well. I have a great sex life, my DH finds me attractive, and I’ve never experienced rudeness from strangers. If anything, I still get men looking at me and women smiling, and I often receive compliments on my appearance - especially how I dress.

I love fashion. I live in midi dresses, skirts and boots, and I enjoy wearing bright colours and novelty earrings. I’m 5’7”, which probably helps, and I’ve often been told I “carry my weight well.” Most people assume I’m a size 14/16 (I have big boobs though!)

What I struggle with is the feeling that there’s something wrong with me because I don’t aspire to be skinny or slim. I was brought up with the idea that fat = bad, and I don’t want to carry that mindset through my life. When I think about my grandmas, they were both rounder women - warm and cuddly

My DS, who is 7, recently said he doesn’t want me to do calorie counting to lose weight because he wants me to stay cuddly. That really stuck with me.

I guess I’m just wondering if anyone else feels this way - comfortable in their body, not chasing weight loss, and trying to unlearn the idea that thinner is always better.

I think it’s ok to be ok with some extra weight. For me it would depend on how I carried it. An hour glass or pear shaped size 18 I would love to be that size. But I’m a triangle so when I’m overweight I look like an apple with legs. Not attractive at all to me.

I explained in the post above yours. I’m not saying I’m not fat but my BMI is not in the obese category.

I was you - then my knees and back starting hurting. I lost three stone and the knee pain went.

Frankly if your top half is big enough for a size 20 it doesn't matter what your BMI is, you're carrying excess weight in the most unhealthy place for a woman and if you don't quite tip into obese then it's even more disproportionate and therefore more risky for your health. I'm not sure that you not being technically obese whilst wearing a size 20 is the flex you think :/

I don’t think it is a flex, I’m fat and I know it and am aware of the risks. BMI is a terrible yardstick.

I was ‘happy’ overweight, but then it kept increasing with time, and then the health issues associated with it kept increasing in time, and now it’s hard to shift, along with sleep apnoea, leg odema, back pain, poorer mobility and blood pressure. You can be ‘healthy’ now, but you aren’t- you will most likely continue to out weight on, and you will, at some point, get associate health issues. I don’t believe that everyone needs to be on a GLP1 and I don’t believe these are a magic bullet. I also don’t believe everyone has to be a size 10 or they need to practise restrictive eating, but I do think we need to accept that higher weights usually continue to increase, and often come with the risk of weight related health issues that those lighter don’t have as much of a likelihood of getting, although obviously anyone can

You are delusional. You might be getting away with being fat now, but your joints are over loaded and deteriorating faster than someone of a healthy weight. Your heart will start to struggle. There is fat surrounding your organs and starting to clog your arteries. You are racking up a future of misery, Ill health and early death because of this.

There is a reason why there are very few obese older people.

All this is all science. Science is not a matter of opinion.

It is quite simple, eat less, do more. That is the simple truth. For most fat people there are usually complex reasons around why it is so difficult to accept all this and address it. You need to explore these reasons and address the problem. I say this as a former fatty.

I’m 67, slim and healthy and zoom around the place. I’m very active. My sister who’s 17 months older, was the same size as me growing up, and was like you when she was your age, putting on weight.

She now has significant health issues and is still overweight. She walks really slowly and has to have afternoon naps. I have never had an afternoon nap. We both love cooking and food. The difference is that I can stop eating when I’ve had enough to enjoy: she keeps eating.

Please please think about what your life will be like when you’re her age unless you’re very very lucky.

I’m 4 foot 9 and 3/4 (the 3/4 counts!) and 9 stone 5 and classed as top end of overweight. I’m a size 8-10 on top and size 10-12 on the bottom.

Up until I reached peri menopause I tried to stay between 7 and a half and 8 stone and was a size 4 on top and 6-8 on the bottom but mostly wore kids clothes because even petite clothes were far too long on the legs.
Even then my BMI was 22 and I’d technically be within healthy if I got down to under 6 stone but if I dipped under 7.7 I felt I looked too skinny.

In order to lose weight in the past I had to have less then 1000 calories and around 1200 to maintain, it’s a constant battle and every pound gained shows.

I’m currently trying to lose weight but having to stick to around 800 calories because I was lucky to lose around half a pound a week when I cut down to 1000. I was following SW so not eating 1000 calories of rubbish.

It’s not all about dress size, 8-10 is a desirable size for a lot of people but I know I’m that size just because I’m small.

I was did get up to 10 stone 5 for a few months which was obese and I was wearing size 12-14 clothes.
I really suffered from the excess weight with plantar fasciitis and strain on my back and knees, I snored, was hot and sweaty a lot of the time which I hated and found embarrassing, (I was used to always being cold when I was slimmer) my thighs chafed and my blood pressure and heart rate were high.

I requested WLI and my doctor referred me but I was rejected for not being overweight enough and referred to a dietitian instead who said my diet was fine but weight gain was due to age and height.
I couldn’t afford to pay privately so I’m putting the work in myself and getting used to being constantly hungry again and spending several hours a week exercising.

My doctor said now I’ve lost a stone in 4 weeks that it’s better this way because a lot of people gain weight when they stop the injections. I would have quite liked to be able to cut calories without being constantly hungry but that’s the curse of being small - along with having children’s size 12 feet so I can’t even buy nice shoes to cheer me up! The only pair of heeled boots cost me £200 to have made and my feet look like hooves in them 😂.

Your BMI is more useful than a clothes size, which aren't an accurate measure of health. If your BMI is only just above 25 then it's not too bad. Any higher and you are risking health problems when you hit middle age and menopause.
What is tolerable in mid 30"s can snowball in mid 40's.

I'm the same height as OP and a size 16 and my knees are absolutely fine. My BP is slightly high, my GP was trying to find a cause, took a look at me and said I was fine weight wise. I haven't been a size 12 since I was in my teens or early twenties and I feel great - I'm 66.

I am similar to you OP.All I read about is WLI ,however I know no one on them .and every time I go out see lots of ladies enjoying their food!I too was very slim when young.size 10 wedding dress! M and S cafe yesterday afternoon 2 ladies in front of me, one with a nice cake covered in hundreds and thousands and a chocolate button.one with a dirty big crossaint! Harvester sat evening lots of nice rounded ladies enjoying their food!9

Of course it's bad for your health, the strain in your heart of carrying around a suitcase worth of weight is going to kill that and probably your knees as well

What's a better yardstick? Clothing size? In which case, OP is still carrying too much body fat for optimal health right?

If you are happy the way you are then crack on . We all know being overweight has health implications but so does many other choices such as drinking wine etc. Up to you what kind of lifestyle you want to live. Busybodies suggesting weight loss injections would annoy me , I mean do they think you aren’t aware that these injections exist or what ? People should just mind their own business when it comes to this sort of thing.

It is very clear @Dancingflamingos you aren’t happy. You sound very insecure. So if it’s not about your weight then something else if going on.

Either way - best distance yourself from all this people suggesting WLI!!

If I try to lose weight I just end up eating more, so staying as I am is the best bet.

Sorry can’t identify. Having 2 kids and needing further surgery has shifted my stomach area to a size 14 and i feel disgusting. I used to be a size 6/8. Still in my 30s so shifting some weight is a priority for me as i feel it will only get worse as i get older and i want to look after my health.

I did think I wouldn’t want to see that poster being unkind

MN does tend to get worked up on the topic of weight. I don’t think my weight or anyone else’s is anyone else’s business.

Whatever you decide to do, it's nobody's business to suggest WLIs, so you should nip that in the bud.

YANBU. In fact you are probably not heavy enough to have WLI even privately unless you have underlying conditions.

The thing is though when I was size 14/16, BMI 29 and 5'7" it started to feel like a strain on my joints when I was exercising and I worried about the extra strain on my heart coming into menopause. And for me the additional risk of developing cancer, which was already slightly elevated due to having endometriosis. I started to feel that the extra weight would bring more complications with age, hence I did use WLI (also had PCOS) which meant I qualified.

Unlike you though I had never felt comfortable with the extra weight and had been trying to get down even just to normal BMI for 15+ years.

I was in the overweight BMI category for 16+ years but was in the gym every other day and made healtthy meals from scratch. There was nothing easy or lazy about it.

So if you’re brutally honest - why do you think you were overweight?

Overweight is different to obese, to be fair. I mean, I am overweight but it’s fairly marginal, it doesn’t affect my life especially so I’m fine with it. I think my BMI is 27. I could lose a stone.

Obviously

But doesn’t negate my question to the pp