Partner doesn’t shower enough

[anonymous73181921]

my partner doesn’t shower often enough, I mean he can go days without showering and putting clean boxers on,
I’ve mention it so many times but his excuse is he doesn’t have time as he has the gym then work but there is time and I just lost it today and told him he’s being lazy and it’s off putting cos he smells.
he thinks I shouldn’t have called him lazy cos he really doesn’t have time but he does have plenty time.

I’ve never been with a man who doesn’t keep himself ridiculously clean because they are always hoping for sex of a blow job.

All of the men I’ve been with shower at least once a day but often it’s even more than that.

I thought maybe he doesn’t want sex which is why he’s trying to turn you off but then you say he feels he doesn’t get enough of it.

I bet if he met a beautiful woman at work he’d be showering every day.

Ugghh, who doesn't have time to wash? It is a non negotiable job every day of your goddam life. You factor in the time.

Ewewww
My ex was like this. Happened during lockdown, he "couldn't see the point in wasting water as he wasn't going anywhere"
One day I absolutely lost my mind because after 2 days of thinking the cat had brought in a mouse that had died behind a skirting board or something and scouring the living room for the source of the smell, I realised it was WHERE HE SAT ON THE SOFA. 🤢🤢🤢🤢 the smell of his stinky arse and groin was ingrained in the cushion
I left as soon as I could and never looked back. Dirty bastard. Also had the audacity to moan I'd stopped having sex with him 🤣🤣

Why should she have to wash his clothes because he can’t be arsed?

That's absolutely grim and definitely a reason to dump him. 🤢

For reference my DH showers, brushes his teeth and moisturises every morning.
Shaves and takes care of any other grooming every 2-3 mornings.
Goes to the gym 3-4x per week and always showers there.
Brushes his teeth before bed.

That's pretty basic stuff and takes no time at all.

URGH, men like that at the gym make me want to retch. Unwashed clothes, unwashed bodies, reeking. It makes me nauseous.

YANBU. He is disgusting

Poor personal hygiene in a partner is a complete NO for me. I would tell him that if he didn’t buck up his ideas, he wouldn’t be sharing my bed anymore, and he definitely wouldn’t be engaging in any intimacy with me.

So even worse he goes to the gym and doesn’t shower. What a pig. Also that makes me retch to think we’re possibly sharing gym equipment with such vile dirty people.

You really shouldn't need to tell a grown man to shower and change his underwear. Gross!

This would be a definite dealbreaker for me. Doesn’t matter if it’s a bath, cats lick wash or shower it should be done at least once a day. Definitely after the gym. Teeth brushed twice a day or once minimum.

Raise your bar OP please.

Absolutely repulsive. Does he have serious mental problems?

Sensory issues. Not an excuse to make everyone else suffer sensory torture!

I am autistic and genuinely find showering distressing, the water feels like pain to me. I have baths as I find them less uncomfortable but I’m disabled and can’t always manage. I wash twice daily with a sink of warm water, flannels and soap - where there’s a will there’s a way! When I’m really sick it’s a bed bath!

Ew the not brushing teeth is just rank.
As is not showering, especially after the gym!
I couldn't live with that. It takes a few mins.

Reading all the OP messages. He’d do anything for you. Clearly he can’t even do the basics and if this is genuine and he neither brushes his teeth nor showers regularly how the hell are you still with him. Tell him it’s a deal breaker, showering daily, and twice on gym days! Teeth brushed a minimum of 2 x day. Otherwise LTB and certainly don’t even share the same bed and put several layers of blankets on your sofa. Eugh!!!!

How can you actually share a bed with someone so disgusting .
have you got no standards ?

Basically this.

Sounds vile … how can you get into bed next to him!! Shower literally 10 mins max for a man!!

So he goes to the gym and doesn't wash afterwards? That's absolutely migning. If he doesn't even want to smell clean for you then he has no respect for you and is taking you entirely for granted. Leave him.

"There's not a thing he wouldn't do for me" except keep up an acceptable standard of hygiene......

Remove ALL of his privileges! You know what I mean!

We call these people soap dodgers in our house.
My husband has 72 postman and if they're stinky that get a gift of soap and mitchem. Only one didnt use it!

That's really gross. I had a long bath before bed last night and didn't shower again this morning as I overslept and I thought that was bad enough.

This is vile. I would not even want to sleep in the same bed with him.

I don’t get why you’re saying there’s nothing he wouldn’t do for you. There IS a thing he wouldn’t do for you, shower and change underwear and how unkind that he tells you that you smell. I agree with others, you deserve better.

Well you can’t change anyone else. He’s revolting. But YOU are putting up with it, finding it amusing, getting into bed with him at night, telling us he’s loving and would do anything for you… So you’ve only get yourself to blame OP. I can’t fathom anyone putting up with this unless they were similarly disgusting. Yuk yuk yuk.