Partner doesn’t shower enough

[anonymous73181921]

my partner doesn’t shower often enough, I mean he can go days without showering and putting clean boxers on,
I’ve mention it so many times but his excuse is he doesn’t have time as he has the gym then work but there is time and I just lost it today and told him he’s being lazy and it’s off putting cos he smells.
he thinks I shouldn’t have called him lazy cos he really doesn’t have time but he does have plenty time.

🙄

Clean boxers everyday is easy just put the old ones in the wash. A withdrawal of favours if he hasn't showered and cleaned his teeth might get his attention.

I voted YABU because you put up with it!

He would do anything for you but he won't wash or brush his teeth? Tell him the stench of BO combined with bad breath makes you heave.

He reckons he's got you locked down now that you live together so he can reduce his efforts to impress.

Absolutely ridiculous. If he's got time to wank about in a gym, he's definitely got time to shower. I'd prioritise it over the sodding gym actually, if he genuinely doesn't have any time. How long does he think it takes? It's 5 minutes.

Get rid of him

He's awful.

And he doesn't do everything for you.

He doesn't even keep himself clean.

FGS.

There is a thing he won’t do for you - keep a basic level of hygiene. By not washing and having b his grubby sweaty body on your sofa and in your bed, he’s absolutely disrespecting your (and any decent human beings) boundaries.

I cannot get my head round how so many women seem to have such low self worth they accept this nonsense from men.

theres not a thing he wouldn’t do for me hence the obvious and is so loving

He won't shower or clean his teeth or change his pants.

OP- there is a man/men out there who will do everything for you AND carry out basic hygiene every day too.

It is possible.

Lack of personal hygiene is non negotiable in a partner for me, yuck! It’s a deal breaker…bleeeuurghhhh!!! My husband, my kids and I shower every morning even if it’s a two minute rinse and if we’ve been to the gym or been sweating (summer or gardening etc) we often have another before bed because no one wants a stinky body on bed linen! I’d be telling him that I find it unattractive and he’s not allowed in the bed till he showers!

I'm reminded of a poster here. Her partner was quite magnificently hirsute, and he explained to her that the reason he left shit stains on his underpants, the sheets and her best towels was that there simply weren't enough hours in the day to keep himself clean.

It has nothing to do with time, and everything to do with priorities. He doesn't prioritise basic hygiene. So gross, especially given he goes to the gym.

Soap and water can work through hair.

Surely the gym would say something. Imagine paying and then to have to smell that next to you on the machines.

I think I'd be telling him that everyone is too polite to tell him that he smells and that he will be getting talked about at the gym and at work.

But ultimately he's not going to change. You can make your peace with it or get rid.

I

Going to work after the gym and not showering is gross, especially if he’s not cleaning his teeth afterwards.

For me it would be one shower a day and clean teeth morning and night or it’s over. I don’t think I could sleep in the same bed with him if things stay as they are.

Ultimatum time - what does he care about more, his lax hygiene routine, or you?

So he doesn’t shower , doesn’t change his underwear , doesn’t brush his teeth , but then tells you , you smell . Nah come on this is not right he’s then getting into bed I’m gonna take a stab in the dark and say you keep clean with his dirty sweaty body but wants sex when his breath wreaks and god knows what’s going on down stairs in the pant department . I honestly couldn’t sleep next to him. I don’t like ultimatums but I agree this situation needs one.

Sensory issues? How about the sensory assault he's creating! You don't get to live with other people if you've got the personal hygiene of a bog troll, whatever the reason.

Why are you laughing?

There’s nothing funny about this.

Shouldn't have read that whilst I have was eating dinner 😅

So he never washes or brushes his teeth?! That's absolutely revolting. Unless he's chronically depressed, has some kind of developmental or physical disorder that makes it difficult.

Did you point out that everyone else in the universe had time to do both at least once if not twice daily.

If he works with others they must be gagging.

Just literally tell him you will kick him out if he doesn't stop reeking.

I'm one of those Mumsnetters who gets called 'grim' because I really don't care if someone doesn't shower every day... but bloody hell, even I think it's a bit rank not to have a shower or change your pants for days at a time, especially if those days include trips to the bloody gym. Why would he not shower at the gym?

If you can smell him, the other people at the gym definitely can.

Even setting aside his inability to step under the shower for five minutes, who the hell doesn't change their underwear every day? I'm pretty sure that busier men than him have time to put a fresh pair of pants on! Good grief.

Absolutely no way would this filthy man baby be sleeping in my clean sheets, his filthy cheesy knob would be getting nowhere near me either!

You know your house must stink of him? You probably won't notice (bit like dog owners don't notice dog odour!) but your bedroom and lounge, basically anywhere with soft furnishings will reek.

Bin him off!

You'd think. But no, it was far too much trouble.

This is what I was thinking. My brother is autistic and his hygiene is bad. Literally never brushes his teeth and showers very infrequently.

I couldn’t live with him.

OP, there are lots of people who are lovely AND who wash. How can you respect someone and find them attractive when they don’t wash and brush their teeth? Do you still fancy him?

I think it’s even worse that he works out at the gym then goes days without washing. It’s disgusting and I think this is your warning on what’s to come if you stay together.

Im going to guess he’s messy too. And how hands on of a parent do you think he’ll be ( if you’re wanting kids).