Husband left his friends who I don’t know alone in our house with our 6 month old

[28loloie]

So I’m not sure if I’m over reacting.

DD is 6 months old, I haven’t left her alone with anyone properly yet, I’ve left her with DH while I go a walk but the longest I’ve been away from her until yesterday was maybe an hour.

Yesterday I went to brunch without DD for a few hours, it was my friends birthday and I really wanted to go. DH said he would have DD and invited a few of his friends who I don’t know super well (they live in the city so we don’t meet them often) to keep him company.

I got back yesterday afternoon, his friends were still there. I asked how everything had gone and DH told me he had to nip out for an hour as his little sister needed dropped to A&E, so he left DD with his friends. Apparently she was fine. 1 of his friends is female, 2 were male. He reckons he was gone for just over an hour and his friends said that they gave her a bottle but other than that she was happy just getting cuddled.

We have never left DD with someone who wasn’t me or DH before. I always figured our parents would be the first people we left DD with. I don’t know these friends and while I’m sure it was fine, I can’t feel certain that they are good people. DH thinks I’m over reacting, she was perfectly safe. I feel he made a unilateral decision which could have been easily avoided if he just took DD with him.

AIBU to feel he shouldn’t have done this.

It was wrong of him to not consider how this would make you feel. For everyone saying you are BU clearly don’t understand how much of a big deal it is to leave your baby for the first time. She trusted her husband and he chose to prioritise his own family over their baby. I’m not saying he was wrong to help his mum and sister but to not consider popping the baby in the car with him and instead leave her with people that OP doesn’t know feels really unreasonable in my opinion. It is not the fact that the people she was left with were totally “fine”, it was the promise he would watch DD for the duration that OP was out.

Fucking hell 🤣🤣🤣

No it is not.
he should have discussed this with his wife at minimum.
and ideally not prioritised being an Uber to his mom and sister

What on earth are you on about?
The OP went out for a rare birthday brunch with her friends. A special occasion.
Her husband was required to look after his child for a couple of hours. He didn’t need bloody friends over to keep him company ffs. I assume he’s not 15.
I don’t imagine @28loloiehas friends over all the time when she has the baby by herself.
If he had been on his own, he’d have had to (rightly) take the baby with him/contacted his wife.

Again... fucking hell 🤣🤣

Glad I aren't related to you

I know !!!
Bloody hell. It's crazy isn't it.

Or a sign that he's a decent man who did what he could to help a badly injured child and (probably) a distessed mother as quickly as possible, whilst making arrangements for his own child to be cared for by longstanding trusted friends, and his wife to enjoy her brunch uninterrupted.

Yep, what an arsehole for taking one hour out of his day to help family while his baby is being looked after by family friends.

Nerve. Touched. 😂

For everyone saying you are BU clearly don’t understand how much of a big deal it is to leave your baby for the first time.

It's his baby too...

It is not the fact that the people she was left with were totally “fine”, it was the promise he would watch DD for the duration that OP was out.

And if the OP was "watching" the baby (although let's face it, nobody would ever say that about a mum) and needed to leave the baby for an hour with a good friend to attend to another family, would she need to run it by DH....?

No, thought not. Double standards as usual.

So you wanted him to leave an 11 year old in agony while you travelled home?

Wait till your pfb is 11. I know you feel like it’s all grown up now but she’s just a wee girl and she needed help.

Can you imagine the uproar if DH had rung the OP at her brunch and told her to come back?! Everybody would be outraged saying how useless he is and how he can't cope on his own!

His sister had a legitimate reason to need to be taken to A&E. He needed to go.

You need to start working as a team. He has as much right to make decisions like this as you and if he is looking after the baby, you need to accept that he is able to make a decision like this without your approval. Wait until In Laws start babysitting and god forbid do something you dont approve of. I alsways worked on the principle that if i trusts someone enough to look after my child, i trust them to make the difficult decisions in their best interests when i am not there even if i dont agree with them. Nothing happened. They arent just strangers off the street and it was a mix of friends. It wasnt just a couple of blokes he knows.

Life throws curve balls into family situations. He made a reasonable choice in a difficult situation

YABU

Wow.

I think people like you are truly bonkers.
but maybe you have lots of spare children so happy to leave them with whoever.

Taken the baby with him.

Important information here - he has known them since he was a toddler.

You trusted your DH enough to have a baby with him, so surely you trust him enough to decide whether his friends that he has known his entire life are OK to look after a 6 month old for an hour??

It's not about YOU knowing them. The important thing is HE knows them, and clearly made a sensible decision.

I thought you meant some blokes he'd only known for a few months that he didn't know well.

Gosh.

Is your husband unable to make any independent decisions at all?

Hope no one in your extended family has to ever rely on your compassion 😬

They’re not ‘whoever’. The OP’s husband has known them all his life.

Yours is 'resilient' remember?

I think there should be a KPI for that, don't you, for the under ones?

The next time I come across a GP friend, I'll raise that.

Indeed!

Definitely nerve touched 😂

They never had children so not clear how much they know about looking after a child including changing nappies. Not everyone you know all your life is a trustworthy caregiver to a baby.
He clearly didn’t think that through.

You can ‘wow’ all you like.
The fact is, that the OP has never left her first born child with anyone else, apart from her partner. Not even relatives.
On that basis, I think she’s justified in being pissed off and upset.