Husband left his friends who I don’t know alone in our house with our 6 month old

[28loloie]

So I’m not sure if I’m over reacting.

DD is 6 months old, I haven’t left her alone with anyone properly yet, I’ve left her with DH while I go a walk but the longest I’ve been away from her until yesterday was maybe an hour.

Yesterday I went to brunch without DD for a few hours, it was my friends birthday and I really wanted to go. DH said he would have DD and invited a few of his friends who I don’t know super well (they live in the city so we don’t meet them often) to keep him company.

I got back yesterday afternoon, his friends were still there. I asked how everything had gone and DH told me he had to nip out for an hour as his little sister needed dropped to A&E, so he left DD with his friends. Apparently she was fine. 1 of his friends is female, 2 were male. He reckons he was gone for just over an hour and his friends said that they gave her a bottle but other than that she was happy just getting cuddled.

We have never left DD with someone who wasn’t me or DH before. I always figured our parents would be the first people we left DD with. I don’t know these friends and while I’m sure it was fine, I can’t feel certain that they are good people. DH thinks I’m over reacting, she was perfectly safe. I feel he made a unilateral decision which could have been easily avoided if he just took DD with him.

AIBU to feel he shouldn’t have done this.

Read the ops posts.

He wouldnt have been there for 4 hours.

what would you have done?

It's not hard to understand - my baby would have screamed the house down and I wouldn't have put them through that.

So he needed your permission? You're equal parents do you expect his permission for everything you do with her on a daily basis?

This isn’t juggling a 6 month old with a sibling as you prepare dinner fgs. This is a bona fide emergency.

😆

Yep classic MN!

Mums of course are encouraged to have friends round, go out for coffee, go to baby groups etc so that they can enjoy some adult company whilst looking after a child. But god forbid a MAN do the same! What an irresponsible and feckless father.

LTB.

Apparently so.
Or they're bored and like arguing with people on MN

That's you.

Ops baby was obviously fine with it.

how do you know what emergencies/situations I may have had to deal with?

You have absolutely no clue.

You seriously wouldn't leave your baby with friends you've known your whole life to drop an injured child to A&E and come straight back?

Well the op's baby is clearly more resilient.

He trusted his friends to take of his baby in an emergency situation. Baby was fine, so what's the problem?

The fact you would have made a different choice is irrelevant as you weren't there. You don't get to negate his ability to make an informed decision using his own judgement.

You can see his thought process though. You were out having a break (and we all know how consuming babies are). A situation came up and he was able to manage it without disturbing your time away.

There are so many rubbish men out there who wouldn’t know what to do- he clearly dealt with it well. It was only one hour which isn’t long at all

Good to hear.

Suggested he take DD or come home myself.

oh yeah so looks like he didn’t need to go at all. His sister was with her mom and they could’ve called AN UBER - he didn’t need to drive there leaving a baby with friends who never had children.
or, he could have take a baby with him.

and regardless he could have called his wife to discuss this first.

but no, he decided that what his mom and sister demanded is more important.

OP, that’s a first sign that he’ll treat his mommy and sister as more important than you and your children

And no desire to tbh

I can see how this feels like a big deal for you OP as it's the first time you've left your baby for a significant length of time and it always feels a bit fraught with emotion when you do so your reaction is understandable.

However, he's left your baby for a short period of time with trusted friends who presumably felt comfortable with this. The fact they have known each other since childhood and are likely to have experience with babies from extended family is really important context.

In an emergency I think your DH's response was not only understandable but sensible. Your baby will have been safe and well cared for while your DH was able to devote his attention fully to ensuring his sister got safely to A&E.

This in abundance

God some people on this site are truly bonkers. Bonkers.

When my first was tiny my OH was a junior hospital doctor. Baby used to get handed round in the doctors' mess from one person to another, sometimes when we were not there. She grew up very sociable!

Is this satire?

Yes I seriously would not.
injured child had her mom there.

All good.

This isn’t about your baby. You seem to be struggling to understand that people have different setups to you.

I had two exclusively breastfed clingy babies who would have never coped with being left at 6
months but that clearly isn’t the case for OP.