Husband left his friends who I don’t know alone in our house with our 6 month old

[28loloie]

So I’m not sure if I’m over reacting.

DD is 6 months old, I haven’t left her alone with anyone properly yet, I’ve left her with DH while I go a walk but the longest I’ve been away from her until yesterday was maybe an hour.

Yesterday I went to brunch without DD for a few hours, it was my friends birthday and I really wanted to go. DH said he would have DD and invited a few of his friends who I don’t know super well (they live in the city so we don’t meet them often) to keep him company.

I got back yesterday afternoon, his friends were still there. I asked how everything had gone and DH told me he had to nip out for an hour as his little sister needed dropped to A&E, so he left DD with his friends. Apparently she was fine. 1 of his friends is female, 2 were male. He reckons he was gone for just over an hour and his friends said that they gave her a bottle but other than that she was happy just getting cuddled.

We have never left DD with someone who wasn’t me or DH before. I always figured our parents would be the first people we left DD with. I don’t know these friends and while I’m sure it was fine, I can’t feel certain that they are good people. DH thinks I’m over reacting, she was perfectly safe. I feel he made a unilateral decision which could have been easily avoided if he just took DD with him.

AIBU to feel he shouldn’t have done this.

Hands up if you're also a mother who lives in the real world!!

WTAF.

You think an 11 year old who would have been in quite severe pain should just wait until her brother phones his wife, gets her home and only then takes her to hospital?

When there are people available at that very minute whom the man has known literally all his life to watch a 6 month old for an hour?

Seriously? Fucking hell.

Where would he put the baby and car seat?

Kid was in the back, had multiple fractures, and needed someone right there to watch her and offer support and possibly brace her from unnecessary movement. A 6 month old is an encumbrance in a medical emergency transport situation. He needed to drive. Mom needed to be in back with child.

He was just dropping his mum and sister off, as far as I can tell he didn't go inside!

ty, this is what i've been saying.

For what it’s worth I would be upset as well. I would have appreciated being called so I could decide if I wanted to come home or not. At the same time it is a kind of “what are the chances” situation and he probably just made a split second decision. If he’d gone out for any other reason other than an urgent thing I’d be fuming. Use it as an opportunity to learn from as parents and what you’re comfortable with, but in my opinion you’re right to be upset I would have been.The momma bear instinct is very strong.

If my H had called me in this situation i'd be asking why the fuck he is calling me and to get his ass to his sisters to get her to hospital.

Baby is perfectly safe, happy, and warm, and in the care of people he's known his whole life.

I agree with this. it was an emergency! he was probably slightly panicked. his friends probably said don't worry we will mind DD and he just thought one less thing to worry about ....
yes wouldn't be your decision but he wasn't unreasonable given the length of time he knew these friends and there was several of them

You must be aware that most children will have, before school age, been left in the care of extended family, friends, babysitters, nannies, childminders, preschool assistants etc? And in the vast vast majority of cases are cared for perfectly safely?

YANBU - 111 for sister. Relative for sister. Send one of the friends to take the sister.

Op your DH is a good guy.
He did what he could to help his DMum and his little sister. She's only 11, growing up without her Dad.

He left the baby with 3 trusted adults, his friends who hes known for years. He didn't even stay at the hospital he took them and returned to the house.
I think he made the best decision he could with probably 10secs to think through his options.

You don't forget who helps you out in a moment of crisis.

As paranoid as I am over people having my 15 week old, I'd still rather her stay with my partners friends than be stuck in A&E risking picking up a cold! But no definitely not unreasonable, as long as she was looked after and dad trusted the friends then It's not the absolute worst.

(Just me but I'd actually prefer his friends having to look after her than my mil 🙊)

When woman are neurotic it is called hormones and understandable when men are neurotic it is called controlling and red flags all over it

Yes you unreasonable but other neurotic parents on here will agree and nothing will change for you

Wow

111 for sister.

What is 111 going to say other than 'take her to A&E'?

He could have called you to let you know what was happening so you had the option to go home or tell him to bring the baby to hospital

Have you ever tried ringing 111? Because.. it's not a fast service.

And it's the mans sister, for fuck sake. Of course he would want to go and help her, and not send someone else.

The 6 month old was absolutely fine being watched for an hour. Are we all forgetting how simple it is to watch a kid that age? Feed them, change them, don't drop them on their heads. Job done.

Why, because I wouldn't be happy with them being left in the care of a group of people I barely know?

What a bizarre and baseless assumption. And incorrect.

Keep on playing the cool Mum card. I'll continue to actually give a shit about mine.

A group of people the baby’s father knows well.

And that the mother barely knows.

All sounds fine to me ,these were people he's known his whole life. Three of them and one 6 month old. It continues to sadden me the lack of trust many women seem to have in their own partners. Your child is his baby too.

Why does that matter? The baby’s
father knows them well.

I was scared to open this thread and after what I have read, I know why I was scared.

Well clearly it matters to OP, and a lot of other people on this thread.

I have asked this question so many times on this thread and it obviously doesn’t fit the narrative of some of the hysterical posters !