Husband left his friends who I don’t know alone in our house with our 6 month old

[28loloie]

So I’m not sure if I’m over reacting.

DD is 6 months old, I haven’t left her alone with anyone properly yet, I’ve left her with DH while I go a walk but the longest I’ve been away from her until yesterday was maybe an hour.

Yesterday I went to brunch without DD for a few hours, it was my friends birthday and I really wanted to go. DH said he would have DD and invited a few of his friends who I don’t know super well (they live in the city so we don’t meet them often) to keep him company.

I got back yesterday afternoon, his friends were still there. I asked how everything had gone and DH told me he had to nip out for an hour as his little sister needed dropped to A&E, so he left DD with his friends. Apparently she was fine. 1 of his friends is female, 2 were male. He reckons he was gone for just over an hour and his friends said that they gave her a bottle but other than that she was happy just getting cuddled.

We have never left DD with someone who wasn’t me or DH before. I always figured our parents would be the first people we left DD with. I don’t know these friends and while I’m sure it was fine, I can’t feel certain that they are good people. DH thinks I’m over reacting, she was perfectly safe. I feel he made a unilateral decision which could have been easily avoided if he just took DD with him.

AIBU to feel he shouldn’t have done this.

This thread is so batshit. I actually can’t believe people live like this. Why on earth are people criticising the dad for having mates round when his partner is out?! What’s wrong with using the time to see his own friends? Why should he be a martyr and sit in on his own with the baby rather than socialising and having friends meet his child? So very bizarre.

But he knows them and trusts them. He was happy to leave your baby with them.

He is also a parent - why is your opinion on who your baby is left with more important than his?

I would find this weird and be uncomfortable tbh.

Thr husband obviously lives with the op so of course will be very aware that their dd hasn't ever been left with other adults let alone ones the 6mth old has never clapped eyes on before.

He knew the op has an issue yet did it anyway. He could've easily dropped his relatives at the hospital whilst his dd was in the car, or rang his wife.

We can all agree that never leaving a 6mth old is unusual but it's their set up which the dh was well aware of.

A broken collar bone is an emergency and his sister would have been in agony, plus if she moved wrong it could change it to an injury that would leave lasting damage and seriously damage other parts of her neck. Unless any of his friends are known child abusers, leaving the baby with them and going immediately, rather than waiting till he contacted you and you'd come home was 100% the right thing to do.

“Not immediate family” So if it had been the OP’s sister it would have been OK? Jesus. I can’t tell you how much I hate this “my little family” bullshit.

He is a parent too. He is allowed to make his own judgement based on his knowledge of his child and his friends.
He needed to make a speedy decision. He did not need to waste time consulting you when he has the right to make decisions for his own child.
When a parent has a child on their own they make decisions all the time. They can't keep ringing up to make sure they are doing everything "right."
I am sure that your baby had a great fuss made of her and loved it. In that sort of situation people go out of their way to make sure the little one is happy.
I am hoping you did not give your husband grief over this.

Completely agree. It's this new 'little family' shite. I just can't get on board with it. I like having friends and talking to adults!

Its a disgrace this thread

Im still waiting for the poster who thinks the childcare was a 'low bar' to come back to explain why and how the childcare was inappropriate

He knew the OP has an issue?

What issue?

What do you mean?

This
Some posters are displaying unnecessary hysteria

I'm so sorry.

This. And it was an emergency.

Holy Lord

This literally has nothing to do with what I said. I’m commenting on the fact that people upthread have been criticising the dad for having his mates round at all when OP was out.

This also was a serious fall, there were multiple fractures. There could have been more injuries, like head injuries or chest trauma, and she needed to be taken to the ER and assessed. There also needed to be someone beside her. There was no room for baby and car seat.

But the real problem is @28loloie doesn't think her husband is an equal parent and he should be running even emergency decisions by her. That's controlling and pretty demeaning towards her husband. She thinks he should have taken the baby and tough for the child with multiple fractures who needed someone there beside her to stabilize her and comfort her. She's wrong and unless her husband has done something off the wall with their baby, trust him to do the right thing. He did here.

OP, your reaction here makes me suspect you've got anxiety. Have you been assessed for PPA/PPD? Think about it.

Kind YABU.

You dont know them, which i understand would be worrying, from your title I expected to firmly agree with you. But DH has known these people since he was a toddler.

There was an emergency, as youve said neither you nor DMIL could afford a taxi, DMIL doesnt drive and DSIL is a young girl with a broken collar bone. Likely in a lot of pain, and at the point he got the call, there could have been more injuries.

He didnt stay longer than absolutely necessary. He didnt lie to you about any of it. He didnt hide it.

DH got a call that his little sister was injured in an accident and needed a lift to the hospital, you were seeing your friends something youd scrimped for and even if youd come home that would have taken time. So he made what likely seemed to him the only sensible decison, asked these friends hes known his whole life to mind his daughter while he picked up his mum and sister, dropped them off and came straight back.

Its not unreasonable you feel nervy about it, shes small and in hindsight he might have made other choices, you might of. But I think he did alright in the circumstances and she was safe and fed and happy so id try and let it go

It was an emergency so I can totally see why he did it but he could have taken the baby too! He’s known the friends since he was a toddler so that’s a long time!

Given the number of mothers on here saying they would, I disagree.

Speak for yourself.

I've had to do that, and was very glad I had decent friends who were ready to help me out at that time so I didn't have to take a baby to the hospital to hang around corridors for who knows how long.
It would be a completely bizarre thing to do if you had a better option.

The baby is 6 months, if they were 3 weeks I could understand, it was an emergency and he left the baby at home for an hour with his life long friend, this is such an overreaction, anyone would think he left the baby on a doorstep.

no, they think he left baby with child abusers

Are you for real?? His sister needed to go to hospital. If that’s not an emergency, I don’t know what is.
Utterly neurotic.

The clue is in the name, Accident and Emergency...

And then the OP would’ve moaned if baby became unwell as a result of having been in a hospital.