Husband left his friends who I don’t know alone in our house with our 6 month old

[28loloie]

So I’m not sure if I’m over reacting.

DD is 6 months old, I haven’t left her alone with anyone properly yet, I’ve left her with DH while I go a walk but the longest I’ve been away from her until yesterday was maybe an hour.

Yesterday I went to brunch without DD for a few hours, it was my friends birthday and I really wanted to go. DH said he would have DD and invited a few of his friends who I don’t know super well (they live in the city so we don’t meet them often) to keep him company.

I got back yesterday afternoon, his friends were still there. I asked how everything had gone and DH told me he had to nip out for an hour as his little sister needed dropped to A&E, so he left DD with his friends. Apparently she was fine. 1 of his friends is female, 2 were male. He reckons he was gone for just over an hour and his friends said that they gave her a bottle but other than that she was happy just getting cuddled.

We have never left DD with someone who wasn’t me or DH before. I always figured our parents would be the first people we left DD with. I don’t know these friends and while I’m sure it was fine, I can’t feel certain that they are good people. DH thinks I’m over reacting, she was perfectly safe. I feel he made a unilateral decision which could have been easily avoided if he just took DD with him.

AIBU to feel he shouldn’t have done this.

I rather suspect you don't actually have any children given all your sensationalist posts.

Ha! LOL!!! Like a six month old would give two shits about an 11 year old with a broken collar bone. Too busy eating her own sock and dribbling.

My child also broke their collar bone last summer. There was no distress, no screaming. Just sat in minor injuries waiting for an x-Ray and then a sling.

At least she would be with a parent. Not left with strangers.

'Their' baby....

But why is that irresponsible?

Child free friends who have grown up around children and managed the one hour of childcare fine.

I babysat for my friend, all alone when I was child free. She had a same day doctors appointment and her husband was at work. He didn’t know me well. He didn’t lose his shit. There was no accusations of paedophilia or that I’d shake the baby.

It isn’t irresponsible at all.
It might shock you but child free people are capable of caring for children. Some are better than actual parents!

Because in 6 months it sounds that he's not looked after his child on his own for longer than an hour.
So maybe he doesn't know what child care actually consists of?

Friends that dad has known since he was a toddler. Not strangers.

The friends would contact the baby’s dad surely? Why would they need to go straight to mum?

If you were posting "my sister needed to go at A&E so I phoned DH to leave his very rare treat with mates we'd saved for and come home to look after Dc. My friends were home with me but I thought DH should come home instead of them looking after her for an hour" I'd say yabu.
Why wouldn't you trust your friends?

Are you worried they might neglect her, hurt her or abuse her?

But she’s a stranger don’t you know??

I think your being a bit unfair to your DH. He has a choice in who cares for his baby aswell and he clearly trust them as you say he has known them since he was a toddler and it was an emergency.

Strangers to the baby, who has never been left. Pretty much strangers to the child’s mother too.

He's not... they are lifelong friends.

But not to dad who was making parenting decisions at the time.

Come on, it's not that difficult to look after a 6 month old for an hour...

Perhaps you were totally clueless before your child was born, but lots of people have alternative experience or can apply common sense.

Don't shake the baby. Don't drop the baby. Don't feed he baby kebab or beer or cocaine. If it cries try nappy, bottle, cuddles.
Three adults to loo after 1 baby for a hour really isn't that complicated.

This👆How many of some of the extremely hysterical people on this thread baby sat , looked after friends babies occasionally before having children?
I happily left my children as babies with my bestie for a few hours to recharge etc and she hasn’t had children.
There is a reason why the vast majority of babies thankfully survive and grow into healthy thriving adults!
I personally think that the 11year old was the priority here and Dad made the right call.

Why does that matter?

I know! I was joking about the post I was quoting about the mum going for a wee at a baby group.

@28loloie Apparently she was fine. 1 of his friends is female, 2 were male.

So one of the friends was a woman?

What's the issue then?

I think he should have taken dd with him in the car.

I think he should have called you so you could have made a decision together. Im sure she was fine with his friends but leaving her for the first time was a massive thing for you and he knew that, so to not update you was wrong in my view. I do understand why he wasnt keen to take a baby to A&E but if he was just dropping her off then thats different. I dont think youre unreasonable to feel upset.

Baby would have been at more risk in a car and in a hospital than she would be at home.

Let's face it, whatever this man did was going to be wrong. It's Mumsnet and some posters will do all sorts of mental gymnastics to ensure that the man is always wrong in any situation.

If he'd have phoned the OP, interrupting her brunch that she was really looking forward to to ask what he should do, he'd be called all the names under the sun for not being able to use his initiative and sort out alternative childcare.

At the end of the day, there was a child who'd had a nasty accident and needed hospital treatment. He made arrangements for their baby that allowed his sister to get to hospital and also meant that the OP got to enjoy her brunch.