Husband left his friends who I don’t know alone in our house with our 6 month old

[28loloie]

So I’m not sure if I’m over reacting.

DD is 6 months old, I haven’t left her alone with anyone properly yet, I’ve left her with DH while I go a walk but the longest I’ve been away from her until yesterday was maybe an hour.

Yesterday I went to brunch without DD for a few hours, it was my friends birthday and I really wanted to go. DH said he would have DD and invited a few of his friends who I don’t know super well (they live in the city so we don’t meet them often) to keep him company.

I got back yesterday afternoon, his friends were still there. I asked how everything had gone and DH told me he had to nip out for an hour as his little sister needed dropped to A&E, so he left DD with his friends. Apparently she was fine. 1 of his friends is female, 2 were male. He reckons he was gone for just over an hour and his friends said that they gave her a bottle but other than that she was happy just getting cuddled.

We have never left DD with someone who wasn’t me or DH before. I always figured our parents would be the first people we left DD with. I don’t know these friends and while I’m sure it was fine, I can’t feel certain that they are good people. DH thinks I’m over reacting, she was perfectly safe. I feel he made a unilateral decision which could have been easily avoided if he just took DD with him.

AIBU to feel he shouldn’t have done this.

Or instead of those dramatic scenarios, he could have stuck the baby in her carseat and taken her along.

I would he fuming if DH left my newborn with his mates. I wouldn't care how long he'd known them.

To be honest, I find it weird that he was called to drive over to his Mum's and then drive his sister to hospital instead of them just calling an ambulance. Unless they live next door or something, it makes no sense to me.

They have said it would have been ages, to be fair. I'm finding it strange that I'm being interrogated when I just said I would want a phone call though 😆

How does injured child get supported in the back seat with car seat there?

Baby isn’t a newborn. And mum doesn’t get to call all the shots.

You aren’t getting an ambulance anytime soon for this and what hard hearted person would prefer a child to be injured for longer than necessary and why shouldn’t her brother be asked for help? I help my family

Again Op has explained. The ambulance was going to be 4 hours. You'd have left an 11yo waiting for an ambulance for 4 hours whan you could help?

Suppose it depends on where you live then, but we live in the middle of nowhere and whenever we've needed an ambulance for one of ours, they're always super fast - I got the impression they prioritise children.

I would have wanted a phone call too, and would have been shooting off home as soon as I was told my baby was in the care of a bunch of randoms I barely know.

This would have been the obvious thing to do. Even with good friends I wouldn't have left my 6 month old with them as they would have been pretty clueless as to what to do if they started screaming etc. At that age your baby goes pretty much everywhere with a parent.

I would have expected him to call me in this case! Or taken the baby with him…

If I were the OP, eating brunch with my friends, I would not have welcomed a call from DH because it would have made me doubt his ability to make a dimple decision without me.

No, I said I found it weird. I've never had to wait four hours for an ambulance in my life, and we've needed them quite a lot for out DC in the past, AND we live in the middle of nowhere.

Anyway, I would have fully expected DH to use his brain and take the baby with him, and not leave her at home with a group of random adults I barely knew.

Because ambulances are not public transport, they shouldnt be used in situations like this where the patient is able to travel by car.

They also take ages to come

No one in this tuation could afford a cab but in any case they are not always reliable Ive waited 40 minutes before and I live in a town.

The baby's dad did exactly the right thing

So how do you get them all in the car. Baby in car seat and scared, likely screaming 11yo on the back seat. How is that a better arrangement than leaving baby with three trusted adults?

Well except for leaving the baby at home instead of taking her with him, I agree.

The people who stayed with the baby were clearly not clueless though. I have known someone badly break their arm, he was a grown adult and when driven to hospital he needed help to keep it still
in the car as driving over bumps was agony. Doing that with a car seat in the back would have been difficult.

He had to transport a child in a lot of pain. There might not have been room for the car seat and he was busy dealing with his sister and mom. Why would he encumber himself with the baby during an emergency?

I would make the same choice he did.

It's not just your newborn though, its also he dad's.

Seriously, you can't complain about the mental load when you consider the other parent are a second-class one that shouldn't take decisions.

No wonder why mothers are always the ones being contacted by school or nursery.

Aes you asking how you fit two children on the back seat of a car?

In that case I absolutely can’t see any problem.

You realise she would have needed someone next to her supporting her arm right...

I agree his sister would have most likely been crying/screaming with those injuries - that would also have been traumatic for the baby had they been in the car. She had a serious injury and needed immediate attention. It takes some time to get baby ready and out of house with everything they need. I hope his sister is ok now.

Where would the car seat go in the car if Mum is supporting the injured child ?
Broken arm and clavicle is bloody painful,my daughter vomited in our car when she broke her arm!

Maybe you live in some speci place, but if youve seen the news you'll know most aren't so lucky.

I called an an ambulance for a child at school (where I work). We were advised not to move him but the ambulance still took 6 hours. Staff are still in counselling over it.

I had a spell when I had to call ambulances quite regularly for DH, they often took 4 hours or more.

When my Dad fell down the stairs my (80yo) mother was told no ambulance was available, and she'd somehow need to get him there herself.

It doesn't matter that the mum doesn't know them that well. He's known them since childhood.

If he'd called his wife, then he'd be getting shit for disturbing her first time away from their baby. If he'd taken her to hospital then people would be complaining he took her to somewhere with lots of germs.

He made a decision to help his injured 11 year old sister, didn't disturb his wife unnecessarily, and left his child in the care of capable and well known adults. A call to his wife may have delayed care

He did nothing wrong.

Er, where did I complain about the mental load?

If my DH was idiotic enough to leave our newborn baby with a bunch of random people I barely knew, I wouldn't have chosen to have children with him in the first place to be honest. Mine wouldn't be daft enough to do this though, thankfully.

Simple, not dimple!

So it's not an emergency because they'd be using it as a taxi, but it is an emergency and he had to leave the baby and rush to help? Come on now.