People who don't read the WHOLE thread before commenting

[ExpatInSlavikLand]

Unless you're completely new to commenting on MN and therefore aren't aware you can:

a) see how many pages of comments have already been made, and therefore check them before commenting, and:

b) click to read all of the OP's responses and updates

Why do you blithely ignore (what are often) reems and reems of comments and relevant responses from the OPs to put your two penneth'orth on a long-passed or clarified original post, usually parroting what multiple others have already written?

We've seen a great example of this yesterday, on the post written by a poor lady in the ME whose husband had clearly not really been in a barber shop for the two hours he'd said he'd be. We're currently on 36 pages of comments on this particular post, and we still have people commenting on the OP's original point, ignoring everything else she's since written (and in many cases being extremely unfair and nasty to her), promoting dozens of other people to kindly leap to her defense and ask these latecomers to read the entire thread before commenting.

What a mess.

Haha! This is a brilliant parody!

Then why post?

I haven't rtft, but yeah, he's not gonna change, you should leave 😉
🦆🦆🦆🦆🦆

As I said before, I'm here to entertain myself. Sometimes I have something useful to say, sometimes it's just fluff or chat. I'm just waiting for my cookies to be ready in the oven while having a snack. Second batch just went in.

I'm under no illusions that if I disappeared from this site, no-one would care or notice. And I don't care about that. Same applies to you, believe it or not.

This is me, sorry OP. I’m even doing it right now. I just haven’t got time. I read the OP’s dilemma, decide if I have a view, reply (or not) then move along with my day.

Sounds reasonable.

If people just want to scream their uneducated opinion into the void they should do it on Facebook; that's what Facebook is known for. Nobody would expect you to read all the other comments on there, everybody is just blasting their opinions out into the world and don't care how it's received.

Mumsnet is (or was) a more considered discussion site, where conversations between posters progress and develop across the course of a thread, so the original post sometimes becomes basically irrelevant.

Someone on mumsnet coming on to write 'cancel the cheque!' after 800 posts looks ignorant and their posts are frustrating for people who are engaging in the discussion, while that would be an acceptable response on Facebook.

I'd like if the mumsnet mods deleted posts where the poster has clearly not read the OPs updates. It doesn't add anything to the thread and I think it repels many OPs from continuing to post updates because they are having to answer the same questions and accusations time and again, simply because posters CBA to read their previous responses.

Obviously there will always still be bunfights here - but at least all fighters will be well informed.

Same applies to you, believe it or not.

Don’t judge me by your standards.

I don't think the barber shop OP had any idea that her husband might be cheating when she started her first thread.

It might be disappointing to you but the reality is, no-one here is that important to anyone else, or irreplaceable by another poster.

Cancel the cheque

Nobody cares 😝

I see the thread police are out in full force!

Can’t say it bothers me. What is far more annoying are people who think they have a right to dictate to others how to use a public forum!

Completely agree.

Spot on.

I disagree with you based on my own experience and from speaking with other people who feel similarly or from feedback I’ve received.

I have a disability which means there are times I’m stuck in the house for days and can’t go to work, I feel cut off from the outside world but mumsnet helps to make me feel less isolated.
Some of the support I’ve had from posters who have experienced the same, offered useful advice or even just some kind words has made a huge difference to my life since finding this forum.

I have had some really unique experiences that have left me feeling alone, it’s a big feeling of relief and gratitude when someone else can say they have gone through the same thing or similar and survived or offer really useful information and resources I was unaware of.

I try to put as much information in my OP as possible in case people don’t read all my posts but then I’ve been criticised for “writing a novel” with comments like “I’m not going to get through all that”.
My posts aren’t hugely lengthy to me!) but it seems people just don’t have the concentration for more then a few sentences - that’s absolutely fine but why clog up the thread commenting you can’t be bothered to read it and making me feel like a nuisance poster?

It is really frustrating when you post in distress and end up missing replies that would have made a significant difference because people keep posting the same thing without reading updates. Either that or they contribute nothing useful and sometimes try to pick on something like a spelling mistake or turn of phrase they don’t like which derails the thread and made taking the time to post pointless.

I had a really traumatic experience last year and was suicidal, I can honestly say that strangers on mumsnet helped me through my darkest hours.
Following that I started drinking heavily, I have recently managed to stop and encouragement and reading other people’s success stories has helped me stay sober.
I went to AA last night after seeing many posts from people who said it saved them, it was scary but I already know it was a good decision and I might not have gone without reading others experiences and having a bit of an idea what to expect.

I have friends who feel the same and said that mumsnet has helped them get through tough times.
When I post on a thread where I think I might be able to offer insight or advice I read all OP’s posts and try to read as many comments as possible before I post, if the thread is too long I might just offer a brief message of support.
I have had a couple of private messages back over the years thanking me so I’m glad I could do the same for someone else as others did for me.

I think some people just see others lives as a form of entertainment to browse through when they are bored and don’t think before posting, there is no law against that but in my eyes it’s much better to remember a human took time to come and ask for help in desperation and how you respond could have a big impact on their lives.
I’m not talking about finding Christmas chocolates in wardrobes or outfits for weddings but people who are struggling through life and have no one else to talk to.

Yes, those can definitely be the plus sides of the internet for some. Obviously the serious threads need some considerate posting and thought.

I do feel like forums like this are often so big that almost everyone is almost invisible. I remember when the internet was new and such forums, even on big sites, were smaller and more personal. Real connections could be formed, and I did that then. I wish I could find such a place online now, but it's all just so big and anonymous these days.

I met my best friend online, but in a very small and niche forum which I no longer go to and haven't for years.

I don't dispute that sharing can be invaluable sometimes. I don't think it's for anyone to dictate how other people approach posting though. I think reading the OP responses is a reasonable minimum, but whole threads? Not always.

I agree that posting things like I'm not reading all that is unnecessary. Just back out then ... The internet has also become meaner, I believe.

So you are not posting because what you are saying might be helpful but because you want to post.

Looks to me like sharing an opinion. Valid. Maybe could have been put differently. :-)

If a friend asks you for advice, do you let them tell you the whole story before giving advice or do you give them your opinion half way through what they have to say?

I agree one should read all the OP's posts before commenting on a thread.

However, the person you responded to was sharing their opinion on the topic of this thread, which is surely one of the purposes of posting in a forum? So can't fault them on that if it pertains to replies, rather than OP posts.

That ended quite sadly overnight. The OP said she was flying home to her parents (will have recently landed), and the troll hunting got to her, I think. Anyway, MNHQ decided to delete it and left this message:

‘This thread has been deleted
MNHQ has agreed to remove this thread on grounds of privacy and security - the OP is very grateful for the kindness shown her by her fellow MNers.’

So assuming it was real, that MNer does seem to have been helped by those who followed the thread, read her updates, and supported her. And that is supposed to be the premise of MN - although the Facebook crossover is clearly stretching that now to its limits.

I was following the threads and got an email saying op had updated it at 6:32 this morning but I missed it. Does anyone know what she wrote?

In real life, do you listen to people you are talking to or just say stuff randomly?

Apparently she may update later on a more ‘innocuous’ looking thread, whatever that means.