To wish I didn’t work

[Iwishididntwork]

I only actually work two days a week at the moment but in some ways that makes it harder because I’m not in work enough to feel a proper part of things but also have a tendency to be treated like a SAHM at home.

I just wish I didn’t work (but that my child still attended nursery for a couple of days …) I have this whole fantasy Monday of dropping children at school / nursery and then going to the gym, going a food shop, getting the house clean and tidy, ready for the week ahead.

I don’t massively enjoy my job which I think doesn’t help (I think there’s an element of having been doing it too long but I am stuck as I earn too much to do anything else!(

Many MNetters seem fulfilled by their jobs. Am I the only lazy arse out there?

My youngest started Reception last September. I've carried on with part time hours. I'm living the dream every Monday when I drop him off at school then do whatever I want!
I'm not fulfilled by my job. I was until I got to mid 30s but now it's just a means to an end. I think it's the same for the majority of people. Most of us work to pay the bills, not because it's fulfilling. I think a lot of people lie to themselves that it is fulfilling to make it more bearable.

I really like my job.

Can you up child's nursery, still work 2 days a week, but still have a day to yourself?

I’ve over another year to get to that point @JLou08 . Just feels like such a slog, I’m either at work or have a very young child with me. Life feels so exhausting and in all honesty a bit joyless.

I might consider that next year. It’s money.

I used the have every Friday off, shop, clean, laundry,gym.
DC in school
I loved it!

If I won the lottery, I’d never work again.

Feel exactly the same, work part time so I know I should be grateful, was fulfilled in my career before having Dd, now its just something I have to do-hate it!

You really need to hear yourself. You have a home, a husband that mai ly supports you financially, a child, which appears healthy, no financial issues and you feel hats dine by because you sont have a day just fir yourself? Come on.

How about feeling grateful for all the above instead? Start focusing on how lucky you are rather than feeling sorry for yourself and you'll find your life very enjoyable.

Get a job helping others maybe? I used to work in a back, hated it.

I now work in a job helping young people (not a school). The feeling of me having some worth in other peoples lives, makes me like my job

It’s not what you want to hear, but I would give anything to have mine in a push chair accompanying me everywhere
You’ll miss it one day

How do you see your day to day life in 5 years, in 10 years? Is this a short term thing or is there a longer issue?

Sorry but this isn’t helpful.

One can be grateful for their lot but still crave time alone to focus on themselves and to enjoy the simple things in life.
Young children are incredibly demanding and it’s all too common to put yourself bottom of the list each and every day, to the extent where you lose yourself. Time to yourself is a basic need and it shouldn’t be dismissed.

I was like you OP (although I do enjoy my job). But now I work 3 days a week and my son is in nursery for 4 days a week (for the last 6 months), so I have Fridays to myself. I have a 4 year old and 2 year old. The 4 year old is in school.
As you say, I take time to make batch cooked meals, I do some gardening, I paint my nails, I meet friends for coffee. It’s only 6 hours a week but I feel completely rejuvenated afterwards.
If you can afford it, even if only on an ad hoc basis, I would highly recommend it. It’s saved me from depression.

My jobs boring and mundane but the mortgage company gets arsey if I don’t send the money so I go to work

Just wait until they start school. I love my day off getting to do whatever I want for those 6 hours. Inevitably it involves cleaning, walking the dog and perhaps the gym but it's beautiful while I'm doing it, childfree. I'm so pleased I continued to work throughout as it gave me stability and routine, don't give up work but hold on to the fact that in a few years you'll have lots of free time.

The other side of that is being a SAHM can be so great when your kids are primary school age and younger . Then they get older , you are out of the loop work wise and there is too much alone time .

I don't think you're lazy I think you need a new job which you enjoy. I can't work much due to caring responsibilities but the grass is not greener imo. In quieter times I get bored and it definitely affects my MH to not have a career and something to aim for. I do love my part time job which helps a lot, but I can't go anywhere with it and that's frustrating for me.

I won’t, thanks all the same. I really, really won’t, I’ve enjoyed parts of it and some parts have been awful but having a child under the age of three is by far the hardest thing I’ve ever endured. Much more enjoyable post around three and a half.

@Passaggressfedup the biggest problem I have at the moment is a husband who expects me to bring in an income like I’m full time (ie never ask for money) but manage the kids and house like I’m a SAHM, it’s pretty stressful and it’s something I’m planning to address.

I am grateful but I’m also pulled every which way. It can get relentless!

My kids are at uni. I don’t miss the preschool and newborn years one bit! I have no desire to push a pushchair anywhere! Shudder ;-)

I have worked full time since they were babies. It’s been exhausting though less so now I am senior. I do have a rewarding though stressful job, which helps a bit.

ETA like many posters, you have a husband problem. He is not pulling his weight at home. That needs addressing asap.

It’s definitely the hardest thing I’ve ever done, I like looking back at memories but I’m glad they are memories (dd is now two and a half so while we’ve got probably another year of toddlerhood the intensity is slowly easing.)

She hates the pushchair and I generally can’t get her in it anyway!

Why do people tell other people that they will miss things just because they do?!

I don't miss pushchairs or the toddler years in the slightest!

@ThirstMaker it does but I need to address it ‘properly.’ He isn’t a bad man, and we don’t have a bad marriage but he’s stressed and we never have time to properly talk and thrash things out. It’s actually our anniversary in a few weeks so I’m hoping to arrange a proper date night / talk then.

I am grateful but I’m also pulled every which way. It can get relentless!
Believe me, I know that. I was a single mum of two ftom the age of 1 and 4, working FT with their dad only seeing them Saturday afternoons. Also no parents to help. I know what it's like to crave time for yourself.

My children are now adults and although it was very hard, I'm so pleased I managed to enjoy every moment with my kids. We had do little time together and the tears just flew by. I wish sometimes I could go back and have more of it. It was hard but also so rewarding. My friend never manage to fall pregnant despite rounds of. ivf. She made the most of her life but I know how lucky I was to gave mine, even if it was exhausting.

It's totally normal to have a moan at time, but don't let it define your life. When your mood gets affected by it, redirect your thoughts and go and have a family hug.

I don’t doubt that it was really hard, but you know, you are posting from the relatively privileged position of it being a long time ago so you ca look back with rose tinted glasses.

I’m not having a go - I do it too; got all nostalgic at some gorgeous baby clothes the other day but the reality of being up at 3 am breastfeeding and then having a full day the next day is actually really, really hard.

I don’t think we can ever and should ever say that because some women can’t fall pregnant we can’t sometimes be honest about the gruelling nature of small children.

In any case, it isn’t just the children, it’s my job as well. Tomorrow is going to be exhausting as I’m losing my PPA (I’m a teacher) so dreading it a bit!

Stick in there. I work two days, my youngest has just started reception last September and I’ve remained part time. I have a great balance of work, house work and do the absolute brunt so my DH doesn’t have to, and hilt having time for myself, going to the gym etc. stick with it, it will pay off when they’re at school