To wish I didn’t work

[Iwishididntwork]

I only actually work two days a week at the moment but in some ways that makes it harder because I’m not in work enough to feel a proper part of things but also have a tendency to be treated like a SAHM at home.

I just wish I didn’t work (but that my child still attended nursery for a couple of days …) I have this whole fantasy Monday of dropping children at school / nursery and then going to the gym, going a food shop, getting the house clean and tidy, ready for the week ahead.

I don’t massively enjoy my job which I think doesn’t help (I think there’s an element of having been doing it too long but I am stuck as I earn too much to do anything else!(

Many MNetters seem fulfilled by their jobs. Am I the only lazy arse out there?

@Hiptothisjive , you realise I do actually work, right?

As I’ve said in an earlier post, I’m nearly 46; I came to motherhood late. I’ve had twenty three years of working full time as a strong independent woman before having DC1 aged forty and had the temerity to work three days a week following maternity leave. I only went to two days from this September and shall increase my hours once dc2 starts school. I shall do my dues to society and DH Doesn’t mean I don’t have a little fantasy life in my head - and that does not involve work in any way shape or form.

I am sure DH is appalled at my lazy fantasy, disgusted that in my head he has to earn all the money <rolls eyes>

In the grand context of jobs, mine is good

But its not like leisure time .

Sometimes i think sure I'd like to just not work but then i think actually it would get pretty boring. And i can see that I'd just become a bit of a useless fecker and get less and less done in the time i had. You know what they say? Want something doing ask a busy person? Look at retired people. They haven't enough to do so let the few things they do expand to fill more and more time

I think I like reading too much.

Work gets in the way of all the books I wish to read!

But @Peridoteage i have to admit my dad became very tiresome once he took early retirement; became very anal about bins and buses and other unimportant things.

I like to think I wouldn’t; I do have quite an active life with the toddler, we get out and about a fair old amount and I also have a voluntary role which ideally I’d like to do more of. But … you never know!

I just work 2 days a week. It’s great.

Mine are older now and I don't miss it. I miss elements of it sometimes and I'm not immune to nostalgia, but no, I don't miss it. On the other hand I think in a few years I'll really miss the age they are now.

I hate having to work. I just want to be left alone to read. Frankly, I’m only happy when I’m either reading or out in the countryside (or the bits of countryside that haven’t yet been turned into building sites).

My ds is five now and I have found his company enjoyable since he was about three and a half (but I’d reset the clock then!) DD is generally slightly more chilled and a bit easier but she definitely ‘has her moments.’ I think the main thing with toddlers is there’s just no reasoning with them - she got really upset as one of her toys needed a new battery and I was trying to put a new battery in and she thought I was taking it off her and having a big tantrum and it’s just a bit like - jeez, how does anyone even deal with this 😂

They are both lovely kids and I do genuinely enjoy parenting them, I’m just wanting a break, I think. I’ve actually got a hair appointment next week; DH is taking the day off and having the toddler and I’m making a day of it; can’t wait

are you like me and your happy place would be a log cabin in the rain with a fire and a pile of books?

I mean, I’m sure the novelty would wear off but it’s definitely my happy place!

I get the part time thing so much op- I work in retail and in January and February my hours go down to 18 hours (30 later in the year 40 plus at Christmas) and you’d think I didn’t work even though I miss out on weekends and it means I’m up 7 mornings a week!

Totally understandable OP. I am 49 and my kids are 12 and 14, but I'd love to throw my job in. I do enjoy it and only work 4 days but supporting my elderly parents too and depressed husband. I'm knackered.

Those early years are so tiring. I worked 3 days a week until they were both in school then I went to 4 days. My Fridays off were golden. Even when it's mostly housework, it just gave me that breathing space to read cover coffee, meet a friend, go for a swim.

Of course it's a lovely fantasy giving up work - many of my colleagues enjoy work as I do, but would still give it up if they could, whatever stage of life they are at!

Just keep carving out bits of time to yourself!

My goodness me OP, will you stop offending MN! 😂

I'm amazed at how easily people are riled - especially in what is plain to see, a hypothetical post!!

I'm with you. If I didn't have to, I wouldn't work... And I quite like my job. Pay is shite, but it definitely has meaning so I trudge on. Would I if I won the lottery?... Would I?... Would I though... Nah, probably not.

Also started slightly later at parenting. Hated baby stage. Hated toddler stage. Seriously mourned my previous life. Just getting into the swing of it 7 years on. I like having a child I can hold a (semi-rational-ish, almost reasonable) conversation with... But, I have Mondays off, and I love it!

Also, I worked two days to begin with in my current role and I felt how you describe. Went up to three days which has made me feel much more a part of the team and in the loop. I also enjoy the little routine I have going. Just when I've had enough of home life slog, I can switch it up with work, and visa versa.

Hang in there... But in the meantime, if you happen to come into some big unexpected fortune, get the hell out and live your 'day to yourself' fantasy! 😉

A lot of people would like to not work, so it isn't unreasonable to feel like that. The reality is most of us have to, and these days relatively few of us can dare to go after the perfect job, because we can't risk losing the one we've got, Sure, some people take the risk, take out loans to study and have lots of people helping out with chlidcare etc-and sometimes it works out and they're in their dream job. Often it doesn't work out. But there's nothing weird about a parents wishing they could spend more time with their young kid.

Really?

A stressed out working mum comes to complain that she’s struggling with all of the expectations put on her, and you, plus others, decide to comment that she’s basically being pathetic/ ungrateful because other people have it harder?? 😂

Utterly ridiculous.

🤦‍♀️

if you don’t actually like being at home with your little kids then I think you should go back to work full time and outsource lots of the home stuff /tell DH to do his 5050 fair split and take turns on the weekends.

alternatively, I make part time
work by using a gym with a creche - I get a one hour pocket of me time on my day with my child.

Not saying other people have it harder. I’m saying teachers don’t necessarily have it harder than other people . And she doesn’t sound remotely stressed , just that she doesn’t want to work !!

Can yiu mske sure your daughter goes to childcare for the usual days in the school holidays? You could look for a club for yiur son on these days, this way you could get in some 'me' time. Hope the conversation with your husband goes well.

I'm in a similar boat. Do try and put your foot down with your DH, I know it's hard, but there should be equal measures of things at home.

Always surprised to hear this
Do people actually miss that stage?
I never did

It really isn't fair OP
Is there anyway you can not work at all?
I refused to work until my son starts reception because I was still doing the lion's share of household duties.
My husband is so tired after work, he literally can't do anything so why should I do 2 jobs?
Even if it means less money until then, so be it.

Sounds like a husband problem not a give up work problem. Also - what i find helps with two small kids is lots and lots fo play dates where i like the mums (or dads) so i get a bit of good adult chat.

She literally says ‘it’s pretty stressful’.

Several posters commented that they have disabled kids, so she has it easy.

And I do think teaching is particularly hard because you don’t finish when the day ends, there’s all the additional planning and marking.

Mine are all grown now. I hate working , 3 days a week now, I would go back to having mine little again in a heartbeat. Not that it wasn’t hard, never ending, thankless, but compared to what I’m doing now I would swap.

Mmmm yeh . 2 days a week of teaching with 2 kids . Sounds way more stressful than the average life of a working mother . All I see is moaning about wanting more time at the gym etc