To wish I didn’t work

[Iwishididntwork]

I only actually work two days a week at the moment but in some ways that makes it harder because I’m not in work enough to feel a proper part of things but also have a tendency to be treated like a SAHM at home.

I just wish I didn’t work (but that my child still attended nursery for a couple of days …) I have this whole fantasy Monday of dropping children at school / nursery and then going to the gym, going a food shop, getting the house clean and tidy, ready for the week ahead.

I don’t massively enjoy my job which I think doesn’t help (I think there’s an element of having been doing it too long but I am stuck as I earn too much to do anything else!(

Many MNetters seem fulfilled by their jobs. Am I the only lazy arse out there?

Hang in there OP, it will get better and you will get some time to yourself again. It’s just this bit sucks but it will pass.

Mums are allowed to want time to themselves. So much of parenting requires you to be selfless and put your needs last; it’s ok to say that you would like a break or a bit of time to recharge.

It sounds like OP’s DH isn’t pulling his weight; so OP is allowed to find it stressful singlehandedly juggling all of the household stuff and childcare, whilst still contributing financially.

Honestly, I’m surprised at how fussed some people have got about this post. I have a nice life that I enjoy, but just wish work wasn’t part of it!

It seems akin to longing for a sunny holiday on a grey, cold January. I don’t know why it’s got people all worked up!

I also wish I didn’t have to go to work. I’m 60 and only work part time but Im not in the best of health. My son used to pay me to do his cleaning (£100 a week) but they’ve decided to hire a cleaner instead who they are paying £400 a week. I’m still doing some housework for them and still doing loads of childcare, they are on holiday at the moment and I’ve got the 4 kids, they’ve told cleaner not to come while they are away…my son is obviously a complete dick 🤣 I asked if he’d pay me £200 a week and then I wouldn’t have to work and could just do their cleaning, laundry and childcare but they don’t want that. Currently sitting on the sofa playing peekaboo with the baby, waiting for the rain to stop so I can walk the dog, drop the baby at nursery and go to work, cleaning for someone else. 🤔🤣

I’m aware of this as a mother of 2 . I mean yeh we all want time to recharge . But being off 5 days a week is plenty of time. Kids are in school/playschool within a few years .

I’m honestly not trying to be the thread police but even by MN standards you’re really making a meal out of a lighthearted thread @TheIceBear . I really don’t know why you have spent pages arguing about why my passing thought is wrong and evidence of my inherent laziness!

People have been very hard on you on this thread! I’d love not to work but have the kids in some childcare! Oh the hobbies I’d do 😂 it’s never going to happen but it’s nice to imagine.

What it sounds like you’re really saying is your need some time for yourself - do you get any? Does DH take the kids for a few hours of a weekend? Even a brief break can be good for the morale and mental health.

She’s not teaching for 5 days but it sounds like she’s the default parent with a lazy husband so never gets a break from the relentless of parenting. Heaven forbid a woman want to do something other than work or parent!

@Iwishididntwork i guess we just have different work ethic levels that’s all. That’s the point of a thread really, to hear opinions that differ from your own .

Maybe DH is the problem then. Not work

Or maybe she’s unfulfilled in her job, has a useless DH and never gets a break and is just fantasising about an alternative

She’s not ‘off’ 5 days a week though- she’s parenting! It has absolutely nothing to do with ‘work ethic’. 🙄

I think you think the point of this thread is to argue endlessly, so yes, we have different ethics.

DH isn’t lazy but I am on my own with the children in the week. That’s why there is a tendency to treat me like a SAHM unless it’s money related … I have and do pull him up; he’s always apologetic and I don’t think we have a bad marriage or that he’s a ‘problem.’ I do think I enjoy having time to myself to develop my interests and keep on top of house things, which isn’t wrong, regardless of what some argumentative people think.

I find your post hilarious

Your work defines you. whoop de doo. How sad.... really. I guess every woman truly IS different.

strong, independent woman....so you don't need your DH salary to maintain whatever life you lead now? It's all you, independently?

'show them It isn't just a man that goes to work' Do you NEED to show them that? Do they not have any female teachers? When you go to the shops do they only see men working? Odd. Think you've done your children a disservice there.

@Supershiny is this a joke? If not your son and presumable DIL are cunts

@Iwishididntwork it's just that @theicebear has such a strong work ethic that it seeps into all parts of her life. So she has to pound away at this thread until the very end. That's just her work ethic. She can't stop. She won't. You wouldn't know about that because you're a lazy feck

I wasn’t aware being a parent came with annual leave, in fairness.

Being off work is still being off, even if you do have kids - they don’t really come with days off.

Gosh some really patronising responses here! If I didn’t have to work in my (admittedly cushy) City job, I could be doing so many more interesting and / or socially useful things - I wouldn’t just be cleaning my house 😂 And that’s why I’m saving hard and planning to retire early!

Its also quite rude of @Passaggressfedup to assume OP is leeching off a man.

I earn more working part time now than i I did when i worked full time pre-kids. Not all part timers are paid a pittance.

And OP even said in her first post that she is treated like a full time SAHM despite working.

OP - your family would benefit from your husband taking a few days annual leave to spend quality alone time with the kids and I think you should book some AL to take some time to yourself 💐

I felt like that way back when my kids were little and I worked 3 days a week. I was neither a SAHM nor a full time employee so didn’t feel like I fitted anywhere.

This massively changed when I went to 4 days a week and didn’t work Fridays. So many people used to WFH on a Friday that no one really saw me as a part-timer anymore and I started to feel part of the team and it helped me get my head in my career and give me a little more purpose.

Could you possibly move to 4 days per week? Then have either 4 or 5 days childcare?

So many lazy fecks on this thread . Sometimes I can’t get over the attitude of people having kids and then acting like the world owes them something when most people just get on with it.

Yet here you are also determined to get the last word . Lol

I hate working, I’d quit tomorrow if I could afford it.

Hell, I’d even settle for part-time hours.

How is starting a thread on MN not ‘getting on with it’ 😂