Bf sleeps half they day and doesn’t help round house

[ano1717369119]

I feel like all I do is nag, I’ve asked him to help round house but he says I need to tell him what to do, I’ve told him stuff to do ie do his dishes and clean up after using kitchen bit he half ass does it dishes still dirty and bunkers wiped but still stuff over them,
also other stuff I’ve told him I shouldn’t need to ask as you can see house needs hoovered but says he doesn’t notice it but we have cats you can see the litter on floor , or if I’m working and he’s in house with son the mess isn’t is problem that’s mines when a get home
also he finishes work late and wants to unwind which I get but turns tv on in room while I’m sleep which wake me up, this results in him sleeping till noon or after each day which is my fault as I didn’t wake him🙈

the thing is he is so loving but doesn’t matter how many times I ask for help round the house it just doesn’t happen then ends in an argument cos he goes cold on me as he feels like I’m nagging and all I do is moan

But a feel it’s not unreasonable to ask for help without telling him exactly what to do, unsure what I can do to get him to help more round the house cos fed up at this point of doing everything from min I open my eyes.

I think you have to be fully strict and rigid about 50 - 50 domestic split with men like this. Or this will be your life. I wouldn't put up with this

Depending on what your housing situation is and if I had relatives I could rely on, I would ask him to leave / go live somewhere else and tell him you are unwilling to live with him until he grows up and pulls his weight. I am not his mother to ‘tell him’, ‘teach him’ or even wake him! Come back when he can adult properly and not before.

I suggest you download the Tody app on both your phone and his. It's a bit of a pain setting it all up but once done it's very easy to use and navigate.

You can list every task that needs doing and the frequency with which it needs doing. You can use a general description, such as "clean the living room" but I find it best to break it down into smaller tasks, such as "vacuum living room floor", "dust the bookshelves", clean the windows" and so on.

When a task is due, it shows up on the app. When you've completed a task, you mark it as completed. It then will become due again according to the schedule you've set.

Your bf then doesn't need to ask you what needs doing, he can just open the app and complete some tasks that are due.

It will also make him realise how much you do compared with him, as each person can see what tasks have been completed and by whom.

OP loadsanumbers has gone quiet. Hopefully that means she’s picking her bags and will be off to find a knight in shining armour - or other such fairytale.

Sorry OP, to turn the tv on in a room when someone else is sleeping is utterly unpleasant.

It doesn’t sound like he is mature enough to be in a relationship.

First off take the plug off the TV if he puts it back on, keep taking it off make it an inconvenience for him.
Maybe he will leave it off eventuarly and you can sleep better. If not take the TV out completly.

Get rid! He absolutely doesn’t respect or love you.