To ask how you would start a new life?

[Notsowiseoldowl]

DD15 and I (48) need a new start somewhere. I'm so bogged down by how we got here, I'm struggling to be inspired or think of anything I want to do in life. Clearly, I need to pull myself together and find a new path.

So, you have £250k capital, and around £25K independent income annually, what would you do? Anything, anywhere - you have no geographical ties, no house, no family, friends or significant relationships, no career, no school, no significant hobbies, skills or passions. Reasonable physical health, neither of us in a great place mentally or emotionally (but nothing drastic - we are resilient and will be OK).

Be as specific as you like. Wild fantasies and safe choices welcome! (I'm trying to hard feel it's an amazing opportunity, but my future feels like a big, scary blank and I have nothing to orient by or rally around!)

Has the capital all to be used to buy somewhere to live?

Why no school if DD is 15? Or are you Home Educating? If so then this will obviously influence your choices as presumably you'll somewhere with an HE community and reasonable amenities?

Bali seems to be the place

I would assume that even if you have no ties your DD does, school, friends, about to do GCSEs

Delay any decision until she has got through her exams at the very least

You've presented a blank slate but you aren't really a blank slate. It's worth digging down into who you really are before making any decisions. There are loads of resources out there to help with this.. I find the AI Claude very handy for these types of discussions. It asks lots of useful questions. A good starting question is what did you love to do when you were 9? What were you interested in? Since your daughter's feelings need to be taken into account, what did she love to do when she was 9? You are fortunate to have some resources but it's not enough to live on for the rest of your life so you will need to generate some income. Your daughter will probably need to take some exams at some point. There is a saying: 'wherever you go, there you are.' Unless you can find out what lights your fire, moving is unlikely to help.

Having said that, what you should do is buy a run down house in Portugal and restore it yourselves while documenting it on YouTube/TikTok growing a massive following. Sell it then do the same in Italy. Good luck!

@Clarabell77 I suppose not. We need to love somewhere, though. I wanted to give people as much freedom as possible.

@CallTheRozzers She’s not in school just now. She’d prefer online school, I’m open to home ed if necessary. We’ll find amenities if we want them. (They haven’t featured largely for us!)

@BGP I think it’s very unlikely she’ll do them. She’s autistic and has struggled massively this year with anemia on top. School are not able to support much and while I can get her through if I have to, the results she could get this year won’t reflect her ability. I don’t think a delay will make a massive difference over her lifetime. She has no friends and specifically asked for anything she does next to be online or where she doesn’t know anyone. It’s her new start more than mine.

@Lovelyview I left it blank so people could could add their daydreams. But I do FEEL very blank. (Which is not like me. I’ve normally got a dozen plans up my sleeve. But everything has been SO MUCH the last few years, I’m just out of zing) This isn’t really as superficial as about moving area, it’s about purpose and direction. I just don’t have any. I‘m not expecting that to come from outside in a complete package. But I need a spark to get me started. I feel like I’m alone and in my own head far too much I hoped fresh perspectives might open up new possibilities. (When I was nine I wanted to win Kickstart. DD wanted to teach the dog to talk and build a space rocket in the garden. I wonder what AI would make of that?! Made me smile anyway)

I’ve renovated houses before, and I’d happily do it again. It is quite solitary and I wonder if that isn’t helping me. And then what, when it’s done? I expect to live off the £25k, but it won’t fund a project, and nowadays I would need to supplement it for luxuries or holidays. I’d vaguely thought of retraining, or starting a small business, but what in just seems like Yet. Another. Overwhelming. Decision. I’m not passionate about anything you could legally charge money for and I’m not good at anything anyway, legal or not!)

Do you need to go somewhere where English is spoken ? On 25k which is not a lot you will have to find out where it will go furthest . The obvious places are Europe ,like France , Spain , Italy or you could do the whole Greek fantasy. Brexit though has made this difficult.
Maybe choose a place in UK where you were happiest and use the rest of the money to travel , maybe spend winters abroad.

What is your current housing situation? Do you work?

If I were you two I would buy a van, pack up and spend thd summer travelling around Europe living cheaply. I'd leave all major decisions for when I got back, so id rent out my house etc. It sounds like you both need a break and low demands for a bit and a predictable small lifestyle might help your daughter (as in familiar routines etc). My autistic children thrive in the campervsn

Oh how exciting! What line of work are you in OP?

What passports do you hold? You are potentially restricted to the U.K. and Ireland?

In your position I wouldn’t risk the majority of the capital buying something which I might or might not like in a year or two when I feel better.

So, if your capital is already in cash, I would either invest it in a high interest account or buy outright a small, turn-key rentable flat in a city which you like, not using the entire budget.

Then I’d have six months or a year somewhere completely different. £25k would go quite a long way, and also cover accommodation costs, in Bali or Thailand or Morocco. Or as a pp says, think about a camper van and travel through Europe.

If your eventual plan is to remain in the uk, id then spend a summers travelling round the uk looking at places and seeing how you feel about them.

Basically, I think that you need a break before you decide. I also think that you need to revisit the decision about living on the 25k. Working, even just a few shifts in a cafe or pub, is probably the easiest way to put down roots in a new place and meet people.

I agree with the campervan idea. Buy a decent second hand one with the plan to sell it a few months down the line. Assuming you're restricted to the UK, just drive around and find a place that feels nice to you. With that sort of money I'd try to buy a small house with a big garden, close to a small/medium town, focus on growing my own food (daughter might get involved too) and do a couple of days work somewhere local - whatever's going. You'll meet people and not feel too isolated that way.

Money like that won't stretch far in south England but would be fine in most of Scotland and I guess some areas of England/Wales.

A small house by the sea and a dog in the north of Scotland.
Walk the dog, cook everyday and sit by an open fire at night.

Make sure you sort yourself out mentally before setting off. My parents emigrated to the other side of the world in retirement and packed up all their troubles and brought them with them.

Buy a camper van with some of the capital, and put the rest in some kind of investment (??? I know nothing about this stuff) where inflation won't make it disappear. Spend the next year or five driving around in the van, seeing remote parts of Britain, Ireland, France etc.

Id also get a dog btw. Spend most of our time by the coast, walking for hours. Yeah. I wonder if I can make this happen in my life...

Could you afford buying some land and starting a homestead?
Start small, get some chickens and learn as you go.
Hard work, but it could be very rewarding.

I’d do what others have said and what I’m trying to discuss with DP.

Look to Wales, buy somewhere small and manageable (maybe needs a little work doing) with a tiny bit of land and use it how ever you like. Is your income tied to a job somewhere or can you work remotely?

We’re in the south and I home educate my son so our outgoings are high here. We have the chance of a fresh start with a bit behind us if we relocate. DP not keen though.

Here is my dream you can have it - a small just out the main town house in Collioure, near-ish south of france.
However, I have not worked out the real logistics of Brexit.

Other ideas, a small small house in south wales, and six months there and six months in the sun.

I went to Euston station once with just a suitcase of clothes and decided to get on the first train going to a seaside town. I ended up in Blackpool. I can't tell you the sense of freedom it gave me.

We get so bogged down with possessions and responsibilities, life just ends up being like a prison.

Buy a two up two down terrace.

Make the house a sanctuary to come home to but not a place to hideaway.

Get a part time job because DD needs to appreciate that one day she will have to earn a living and that's a good thing. Encourage DD to engage with something outside of the home whether it's waitressing or helping at an animal shelter.

Cook nutrious food, get out in nature and build a life focussed on art, music, literature (3 things that will never let you down).

Take DD interrailing in Europe for 2 weeks in the Spring.

I would get a big campervan, travel around the uk starting in Scotland working down over, probably more down the west side of the UK, so nc500 (starting east side working round to the west) lake district, wales, devon, cornwall then head to dover and then cross over to head to north to norway, then across down to italy, france, spain, croatia- wherever else took my fancy along the way (obviously would map it better than ive outlined so it flowed)

Longer term would probably settle somewhere remote in scotland or scottish isles (skye, shetland that sort of thing)

work wise- no idea, the only thing im currently trained in only allows to finish work entirely to do the above and unfortunately the funds do not allow for that. So for now the dream is certainly just a dream

That sounds like my retirement pot…. Enough money for a house by the sea in North Wales and the opportunity to walk, bake, read and relax… bring it on!

I think you have to be mindful that your dd is only 15, so you don’t want to close off opportunities for her. She might not manage school, but what about college, which can be a lot more flexible and specialised? If you head off to eg Bali for the long term, this is quite limiting for her. If she is anything like my asd dd then the constant change of location from being in a campervan or back packing wouldn’t suit her need for consistency.
it would also help to know where you are now? If you are already by the sea, this wouldn’t be a change for you, again if you live rurally you might actually want to go to a city.
with not much to go on, I would throw The area round Shrewsbury into the mix - beautiful countryside but still has train links, lovely town, access to FE should dd need it. You could get involved in the community. I’ll also throw in the idea to give you some purpose that you buy somewhere slightly larger (probably need a business loan?) in the Shropshire Hills and run a small B&B.

All the campervaning sounds amazing. Go of somewhere warm. Do you drive?