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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To feel bad for Helen Flanagan here?

350 replies

mumofoneAloneandwell · 23/01/2026 19:57

Cardi B Look GIF by Taimi

https://www.mirror.co.uk/3am/celebrity-news/helen-flanagan-furiously-hits-out-36599678.amp

she’s being made to sell their home and work, taking jobs she wouldn’t normally, and being away from her kids?

I know some of you are gonna be like ‘poor little rich girl’ 😂😂😂 but honestly, what kind of man is this?? Feel for her a little (from my own, much lower, tax bracket)

OP posts:
Thread gallery
6
SleepingStandingUp · 24/01/2026 12:47

mumofoneAloneandwell · 24/01/2026 12:34

I think misogyny is saying ‘well, your marriage failed, back to work you go’ to women who’ve trusted a man and had his family 🤷‍♀️🥺

Had THEIR family.

She hadn't done him a favour.
Now the relationship is over, she's already had one guy move in and out again, and he's paying for everything.

All this "jobs I don't want to do", it would be interesting to see what she's actually doing for work and how much of those wages go on her share of supporting her school age kids and herself.
She hasn't been cheated on or abused, she openly says they just don't like each other. It's been 3 years. She's fully moved on emotionally. Why shouldn't she have to do more than sit there and demand money?

If she can't work due to her health issues then that's something she needs to address separately.

SleepingStandingUp · 24/01/2026 12:48

Iloveeverycat · 24/01/2026 12:42

He is asking her to move out of the 6 bedroom house and offering to buy her another 4 bedroom house for her in her name. That's what the article says

Exactly.

Would you rather live in a £1mil 6 bed house or own a £750k 4 bed? She doesn't have to move away from her parents or pull the kids out of school she just needs to find a slightly smaller large house!

mumofoneAloneandwell · 24/01/2026 13:14

SleepingStandingUp · 24/01/2026 12:47

Had THEIR family.

She hadn't done him a favour.
Now the relationship is over, she's already had one guy move in and out again, and he's paying for everything.

All this "jobs I don't want to do", it would be interesting to see what she's actually doing for work and how much of those wages go on her share of supporting her school age kids and herself.
She hasn't been cheated on or abused, she openly says they just don't like each other. It's been 3 years. She's fully moved on emotionally. Why shouldn't she have to do more than sit there and demand money?

If she can't work due to her health issues then that's something she needs to address separately.

Oo I think she has done him a favour

women can have kids with anyone. She has had them with him, has raised them for him while he works and pursues his dream career (presumably - maybe he wants to be working in m&s?)

she’s put her career on hold - she’s not a young woman anymore and is now struggling to find the right work for her

it’s like saying to a doctor - well, you can’t find good postions you’ve trained for, get back to work anywhere you can, you spoiled woman 🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️

OP posts:
mumofoneAloneandwell · 24/01/2026 13:15

i Will say everyone, it’s just a lighthearted thread, I hope no one’s taken offence - women can and should do as they please!!!

I love a cheeky gif, celeb gossip and to bash men 🥰🥰, but if you’ve survived a similar situation, I think you’re amazing xx

OP posts:
CommonlyKnownAs · 24/01/2026 13:21

mumofoneAloneandwell · 24/01/2026 13:14

Oo I think she has done him a favour

women can have kids with anyone. She has had them with him, has raised them for him while he works and pursues his dream career (presumably - maybe he wants to be working in m&s?)

she’s put her career on hold - she’s not a young woman anymore and is now struggling to find the right work for her

it’s like saying to a doctor - well, you can’t find good postions you’ve trained for, get back to work anywhere you can, you spoiled woman 🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️

Is she really struggling to find the right work? Seems to have quite a number of projects on the go, booked and busy. It sounds like her issue is she'd rather not have to do so many of them.

NameChangeElaine · 24/01/2026 13:26

ProfessionalPirate · 24/01/2026 10:42

His finances are his responsibility. If he hasn’t managed to save and prepare for the future, that’s on him. Footballers’ careers are notoriously fickle and short. It’s not like he couldn’t predict that this would happen. When we decided to put our kids into private school, we had the money saved in advance as security, we wouldn’t have put them in otherwise. I clearly don’t know as much detail about their financial arrangements as you do, but I imagine if they’d been married she would have received the house in settlement and more. Obviously it’s on her that she didn’t ensure this, but she must feel like she is building her life on moving sands, at the mercy of her ex.

His finances are his responsibility. If he hasn’t managed to save and prepare for the future, that’s on him.

Well yes I’m not saying it isn’t but likewise the same goes for her, she knew they weren’t married so should have either kept her career going (I’m sure they could have afforded a nanny) or made sure a certain amount of money was put in her name, that’s on her.

You can’t hold it against him but then give her a pass, both were young and dumb.

Footballers’ careers are notoriously fickle and short. It’s not like he couldn’t predict that this would happen.

Again same goes for her, she would have known just as well as him that his career would basically be done by this point so the money would dry up; even if they were still together she’d have known he couldn’t afford to keep their lifestyle going and they’d have to cut their cloth. Apparently he was released from Bristol Rovers in 2025 so he isn’t even earning now.

When we decided to put our kids into private school, we had the money saved in advance as security, we wouldn’t have put them in otherwise.

Well that’s because you’re probably a sensible and responsible person with your head screwed on, unfortunately these two didn’t do the same.

I clearly don’t know as much detail about their financial arrangements as you do

I only know as much as these two (mainly Helen) like to blab to the press. I have an illness that hospitalises me regularly so reading vacuous nonsense about z-list celebrities is a good way to keep my mind off things.

but I imagine if they’d been married she would have received the house in settlement and more.

I wouldn’t be too sure about that, they split up when he was passed his prime and nearing the end of his career and if reports are to be believed, then they were actually in debt from living far beyond their means for years. I’m actually inclined to believe it as he was on the lower end of the pay scale for a premier league footballer (with no outside income streams from things like endorsements) yet the two of them lived like they were Posh and Becks. While the house may be in his name, I’m assuming any debt is too as he was the main earner. I’d hazard a guess that’s why Helen isn’t pursuing Schedule 1 of the children’s act because in an interview she said it’s not suitable for their circumstances so she’s obviously looked into it and it would make sense if he was actually in the red or breaking even. Who knows though.

I think the whole problem is they came into so much money so young without any proper education behind them and seemingly no one to advise them either (or they didn’t listen). It’s absolutely unfathomable to me that they didn’t use what they had to set themselves up for life but there you go.

Obviously it’s on her that she didn’t ensure this, but she must feel like she is building her life on moving sands, at the mercy of her ex.

Well not really because this was always the plan, they agreed that she’d stay in the house until the youngest started school (with him paying the mortgage and utilities on top of maintenance) and then they’d sell up and he’d buy her her own house; the thinking was with the youngest in school she’d be able to work more and therefore afford to run her own house. She’s known for 4 years this was coming so I’d hardly call it moving sands or her being at the mercy of her ex, it’s not come out of the blue. In previous years she’s actually been quite positive about the arrangement in interviews saying she’d maybe move to London as it would be good for her career.

While I do feel for Helen, I don’t think it’s a case of Scott being malicious or a shit dad or someone who doesn’t want to provide for his kids, I genuinely think it’s a case of two young people who mismanaged their money and it’s now come home to roost.

SuziQuinto · 24/01/2026 13:40

mumofoneAloneandwell · 24/01/2026 13:14

Oo I think she has done him a favour

women can have kids with anyone. She has had them with him, has raised them for him while he works and pursues his dream career (presumably - maybe he wants to be working in m&s?)

she’s put her career on hold - she’s not a young woman anymore and is now struggling to find the right work for her

it’s like saying to a doctor - well, you can’t find good postions you’ve trained for, get back to work anywhere you can, you spoiled woman 🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️

No, it's not. If doctors can't get into their specialist area, they have many other options within the medical profession, which can still be fulfilling and, of course, are paid well. I doubt she'd be called "spoiled" for looking for a suitable niche.
Helen obviously has acting work on the go, the play (qv) sounds interesting, who knows what direction she wants to go in. However, she's still a young and attractive woman, so let's be honest, it'll be easier for her than for many other women in the acting profession.

CommonlyKnownAs · 24/01/2026 13:40

I’d hazard a guess that’s why Helen isn’t pursuing Schedule 1 of the children’s act because in an interview she said it’s not suitable for their circumstances so she’s obviously looked into it and it would make sense if he was actually in the red or breaking even.

Oh really? How interesting! All the more reason to take the paid off property now then.

Hopingforaholiday · 24/01/2026 13:41

She’s utterly bonkers if she opts to stay in his 6 bed (formerly 8 bed) house as his guest. Even if he’s generous and agrees until youngest child is 18 or 21 she’ll be 50 plus and homeless.
That’s the deal Kyle Walkers ex got despite throwing expensive lawyers at it, she won’t be housed after youngest reaches majority or leaves university if they go.
He’s offering to buy her a 4 bed house outright in her name.
Even if they had stayed together they may well have opted as a couple to downsize to a 4 bed once he stopped playing high level.

MoFadaCromulent · 24/01/2026 13:43

How many of your ex partners that you didn't marry are you paying a wage and for their rent op?

Hopingforaholiday · 24/01/2026 13:46

Interesting if she’s not pursuing a pt1 claim, I’ll look at full interview. Presumably as he’s no longer a high earner?

CommonlyKnownAs · 24/01/2026 13:48

Also I didn't realise he'd stopped playing now. No current club. Would imagine for a 36 year old that's probably it, because if he wanted to keep going and was fit enough there are clubs at a lower level than Bristol Rovers who'd have him.

ProfessionalPirate · 24/01/2026 14:02

NameChangeElaine · 24/01/2026 13:26

His finances are his responsibility. If he hasn’t managed to save and prepare for the future, that’s on him.

Well yes I’m not saying it isn’t but likewise the same goes for her, she knew they weren’t married so should have either kept her career going (I’m sure they could have afforded a nanny) or made sure a certain amount of money was put in her name, that’s on her.

You can’t hold it against him but then give her a pass, both were young and dumb.

Footballers’ careers are notoriously fickle and short. It’s not like he couldn’t predict that this would happen.

Again same goes for her, she would have known just as well as him that his career would basically be done by this point so the money would dry up; even if they were still together she’d have known he couldn’t afford to keep their lifestyle going and they’d have to cut their cloth. Apparently he was released from Bristol Rovers in 2025 so he isn’t even earning now.

When we decided to put our kids into private school, we had the money saved in advance as security, we wouldn’t have put them in otherwise.

Well that’s because you’re probably a sensible and responsible person with your head screwed on, unfortunately these two didn’t do the same.

I clearly don’t know as much detail about their financial arrangements as you do

I only know as much as these two (mainly Helen) like to blab to the press. I have an illness that hospitalises me regularly so reading vacuous nonsense about z-list celebrities is a good way to keep my mind off things.

but I imagine if they’d been married she would have received the house in settlement and more.

I wouldn’t be too sure about that, they split up when he was passed his prime and nearing the end of his career and if reports are to be believed, then they were actually in debt from living far beyond their means for years. I’m actually inclined to believe it as he was on the lower end of the pay scale for a premier league footballer (with no outside income streams from things like endorsements) yet the two of them lived like they were Posh and Becks. While the house may be in his name, I’m assuming any debt is too as he was the main earner. I’d hazard a guess that’s why Helen isn’t pursuing Schedule 1 of the children’s act because in an interview she said it’s not suitable for their circumstances so she’s obviously looked into it and it would make sense if he was actually in the red or breaking even. Who knows though.

I think the whole problem is they came into so much money so young without any proper education behind them and seemingly no one to advise them either (or they didn’t listen). It’s absolutely unfathomable to me that they didn’t use what they had to set themselves up for life but there you go.

Obviously it’s on her that she didn’t ensure this, but she must feel like she is building her life on moving sands, at the mercy of her ex.

Well not really because this was always the plan, they agreed that she’d stay in the house until the youngest started school (with him paying the mortgage and utilities on top of maintenance) and then they’d sell up and he’d buy her her own house; the thinking was with the youngest in school she’d be able to work more and therefore afford to run her own house. She’s known for 4 years this was coming so I’d hardly call it moving sands or her being at the mercy of her ex, it’s not come out of the blue. In previous years she’s actually been quite positive about the arrangement in interviews saying she’d maybe move to London as it would be good for her career.

While I do feel for Helen, I don’t think it’s a case of Scott being malicious or a shit dad or someone who doesn’t want to provide for his kids, I genuinely think it’s a case of two young people who mismanaged their money and it’s now come home to roost.

I’ll hold my hands up and say I clearly don’t know enough about their situation to be commenting. I will only add that while I agree HF is partly to blame if her spending was excessive, I think the majority must lie with SS - it was his income and therefore his responsibility to ensure it was spent wisely. They weren’t married - it’s possible that HF didn’t even have the full financial picture until it was too late. It’s a sad state of affairs though, they’ve both been very silly. I feel for the children.

Hopingforaholiday · 24/01/2026 14:12

Yes says released May 25 when they got relegated. So no longer playing.
I’d be wanting a deal signed asap if I was her.

purpleme12 · 24/01/2026 14:24

This is such a strange thread

mumofoneAloneandwell · 24/01/2026 14:45

SuziQuinto · 24/01/2026 13:40

No, it's not. If doctors can't get into their specialist area, they have many other options within the medical profession, which can still be fulfilling and, of course, are paid well. I doubt she'd be called "spoiled" for looking for a suitable niche.
Helen obviously has acting work on the go, the play (qv) sounds interesting, who knows what direction she wants to go in. However, she's still a young and attractive woman, so let's be honest, it'll be easier for her than for many other women in the acting profession.

Fine As Hell GIF by myHQ

In that industry she isn’t remotely considered young!!

I think that she had to take a reality tv job which was beneath her skills as an actor - that isn’t fair imo

I can see that only a few agree with me, I’m leaving it here 😂

I’m still right though! 🤭🤷‍♀️

OP posts:
Itsnotallbadreally · 24/01/2026 14:49

She needs to work and her moving into a smaller property is hardly likely to be a hovel.
His career will be shorter than hers, she just doesn’t want to work. She would much rather be in the paper every other week in her underwear pouting like an idiot.
I would say exactly the same married or not. There is no reason why she can’t work given the age of the kids.

DaisyChain505 · 24/01/2026 15:00

mumofoneAloneandwell · 24/01/2026 14:45

In that industry she isn’t remotely considered young!!

I think that she had to take a reality tv job which was beneath her skills as an actor - that isn’t fair imo

I can see that only a few agree with me, I’m leaving it here 😂

I’m still right though! 🤭🤷‍♀️

You can die on this hill all you want but having children does not give anyone (male or female) a free pass to not have to work again.

Being a stay at home parent is a privilege not a right and it also isn’t a life long contract if you happen to be a stay at home parent.

Life can change for anybody at the drop of a hat. People lose jobs, get divorced, lose money and many other situations which all mean that the way life is currently lived has to be rethought and changed.

TheKeatingFive · 24/01/2026 15:02

mumofoneAloneandwell · 24/01/2026 14:45

In that industry she isn’t remotely considered young!!

I think that she had to take a reality tv job which was beneath her skills as an actor - that isn’t fair imo

I can see that only a few agree with me, I’m leaving it here 😂

I’m still right though! 🤭🤷‍♀️

Actors who aren't A list can't afford to be turning their noses up at jobs 'beneath their skills'. That's not how the industry works, they need to take what they can get!

CommonlyKnownAs · 24/01/2026 15:04

Itsnotallbadreally · 24/01/2026 14:49

She needs to work and her moving into a smaller property is hardly likely to be a hovel.
His career will be shorter than hers, she just doesn’t want to work. She would much rather be in the paper every other week in her underwear pouting like an idiot.
I would say exactly the same married or not. There is no reason why she can’t work given the age of the kids.

She is working, probably more than him at the moment from the looks of things. Being photographed regularly in underwear is actually part of her job, since she has lingerie endorsement contracts and projects to promote.

Gahr · 24/01/2026 15:06

mumofoneAloneandwell · 24/01/2026 14:45

In that industry she isn’t remotely considered young!!

I think that she had to take a reality tv job which was beneath her skills as an actor - that isn’t fair imo

I can see that only a few agree with me, I’m leaving it here 😂

I’m still right though! 🤭🤷‍♀️

She isn't a skilled actor. Is this thread a wind up!?

mumofoneAloneandwell · 24/01/2026 15:07

Gahr · 24/01/2026 15:06

She isn't a skilled actor. Is this thread a wind up!?

😂😂😂 okay then, an accomplished(?) actor - soap acting isn’t for the weak

OP posts:
mumofoneAloneandwell · 24/01/2026 15:08

DaisyChain505 · 24/01/2026 15:00

You can die on this hill all you want but having children does not give anyone (male or female) a free pass to not have to work again.

Being a stay at home parent is a privilege not a right and it also isn’t a life long contract if you happen to be a stay at home parent.

Life can change for anybody at the drop of a hat. People lose jobs, get divorced, lose money and many other situations which all mean that the way life is currently lived has to be rethought and changed.

😂😂 I’ve chosen to leave it tbh, you lot aren’t having it at all!

OP posts:
Gahr · 24/01/2026 15:08

mumofoneAloneandwell · 24/01/2026 15:07

😂😂😂 okay then, an accomplished(?) actor - soap acting isn’t for the weak

Maybe not, but she's hardly Helen Mirren, now is she?

Gahr · 24/01/2026 15:10

mumofoneAloneandwell · 24/01/2026 15:08

😂😂 I’ve chosen to leave it tbh, you lot aren’t having it at all!

No, we're not. Best to quit while you're ahead. Nobody should be relying on their ex spouse/partner years after the split. When Kevin Federline tried that with Britney, he was rightly hung, drawn and quartered.