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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

6 week post stillbirth

87 replies

rosepedal · 23/01/2026 19:20

I recently experienced a stillbirth. I have my 6 week checkup coming up and im getting very nervous to go. Does anyone know if its ok to skip it? I also just got what i think is my first period. It was very light and lasted for 4 days. Did anyone else experience such a thing. Did you ovulate right away or did you have a few cycles?

OP posts:

TheQuirkyPombear · 23/01/2026 20:15

My daughter was stillborn born 16 years ago. I was caught out as I had a period very quickly after. Yes you can get pregnant straight away. I friend I met through losing my daughter did accidentally. I had to wait as I had a section when they tried to save her. My rainbow was born a year to the day. I am sorry for your loss. Have you contacted sands the baby loss charity? I also joined a forum and met other mums online. We are still in contact 16 years later. X

Shefliesonherownwings · 23/01/2026 20:21

Hello, I’m so sorry for your loss. I too had a full term stillbirth 6 years ago and the only reason I went to my 6 week check was to confirm we could start trying again. I was desperate to have a baby in my arms and to bring a baby home.

My post partum bleeding stopped after about 2 weeks and then 2 weeks later I had what was my first period which lasted 11 days, then my next period about 5 weeks later and that was a more ‘normal’ length.

I’m so sorry you’re going through this, it is truly horrific to have to come home from giving birth without your baby. Just take it day by day, hour by hour, minute by minute and please reach out for professional help if you feel you need it. I waited too long and I ended up in quite a dark place. Happy to PM if you want to chat xx

Original poster

rosepedal · 23/01/2026 20:21

I am so sorry to all the moms that had to experience this, its truly awful

OP posts:

Original poster

rosepedal · 23/01/2026 20:26

we were told right after he was born we can start trying again right away.

OP posts:

WatalotIgot · 23/01/2026 20:29

Please go for your checkup in person. It is not just for the physical side of your body, it is also, particularly for you, a check on your mental health after such a sad outcome. Sending BIG MN Hugs.

Original poster

rosepedal · 23/01/2026 20:31

Shefliesonherownwings
Your period was 11 days of heavy bleeding?my normal period is 5 days going from heavy to light. Now 6 weeks post partum it was 4 days of light bleeding

OP posts:

PortSalutPlease · 23/01/2026 20:34

You can start trying when you want, but also don’t feel like you need to rush into anything you aren’t ready for - there’s no right or wrong way to do this. Just be as kind to yourself as you can, and to your body because this isn’t your fault. Sending you hugs.

Driftingawaynow · 23/01/2026 20:34

Love to you OP

vonkrumm · 23/01/2026 20:36

I'm so sorry for the loss of your son. I hope that you have some lovely, caring people to support you and your partner through this time. Sending lots of love your way.

May he be the brightest star in the sky.

Ipsevenenabibas · 23/01/2026 20:40

So sorry to all the mothers on this thread that have suffered a stillbirth or any similar loss. Sending love to you all.

Tiptopflipflop · 23/01/2026 20:51

I hope I phrase this okay. Please know it is said with care and meaning well.

It feels to me from what you have said that, entirely understandably, the six week check feels like a looming presence. Perhaps it feels like this because it is part of the typical post-birth routine which has been shattered for you and so it feels particularly jarring.

Whilst I understand some PP suggesting you should go so you can be checked, if it feels wrong for you to seek that help as part of the "six week check" process then perhaps you would prefer to just ask for a regular appointment if there is something you would like advice on such as a physical check or a referral to a bereavement counsellor? It might feel less overwhelming outside of a specific six week check. Apologies if I am off the mark.

Perhaps someone else could call for you to make the arrangements if you do want an appointment? They could ask if there is a particular person who might be most supportive? They could also ask that you're not scheduled during e.g. a morning of six week checks or jab clinics.

Also, during covid many areas stopped doing physical six weeks check appointments unless you reported any physical difficulties. So if there is nothing you feel needs looking at, please don't feel you must have an examination.

Sending love and light.

Mummyto3ginismyfriend · 23/01/2026 20:52

I had a full term stillbirth nearly 16 years ago. My cycles came back really quickly and was pregnant 3 months after. My son shared a due date with the son I lost. It gave me comfort. I had my son at 37 weeks so there was no risk of it happening again. Sands were brilliant with their support during my 2nd pregnancy. It was anxious and terrified the whole time. The care I got from the hospital team and midwives was exceptional the 2nd time round.

BrendaSmall · 23/01/2026 20:55

So sorry for your loss x
My friends daughter has a still birth and she got pregnant again 15/16 weeks afterwards
Please be assured that the antenatal care she received was excellent, she had regular scans and after 30 weeks she had weekly scans and was induced at 34 weeks. It’s always such a worry that it’s going to happen, our local hospital was amazing with supporting her with any concerns

bumblebee3122 · 23/01/2026 21:13

I couldn't read and run. I just wanted to say I am so sorry for the loss of your beautiful baby boy.

I'm glad to see you're still having your 6 weeks appt but on the phone instead. I'd mention about your bleeding to them as it does sound like your periods returning.

I wish you all the luck for a rainbow baby 🌈

Clearinguptheclutter · 23/01/2026 21:17

I’m so sorry for your loss

LatteLady · 23/01/2026 21:20

I just wanted to add my condolences... I wish I had the right words to help but realise that only you can learn to cope with your loss. My mother lost my sister aged three to TB and had a stillbirth shortly after, that she could place one foot in front of another has always seemed like a bloody amazing miracle to me and I am so proud of her for doing that. Just sitting here this evening, I realise that this happened to her just over 80 years ago, so I shall light a candle for my sisters and your son this evening.

SparklyGreenTiger · 23/01/2026 21:23

I’m so so sorry for your loss OP. I had a late miscarriage in September which was horrific, I can’t imagine how much worse it is to have gone to full term. I saw my consultant a few weeks later (outside of her normal clinic hours) and we just went through everything and she checked my stitches for infection. I was told my first period afterwards would be heavy but it was actually short and light. I was ovulating again by November but I only feel my cycle length and heaviness have gotten back to “normal” this month (4 cycles later).

Wishing you all the luck in the world for when you TTC again,

EssexCat · 23/01/2026 21:23

I’m so sorry - it was 18 years ago for me but I still remember how awful every day was back then.

I’m pleased you’ve been able to swap your app’t to a phone one if you think that will help. You can always go back in a few weeks if you do feel you wish you’d had an in person one instead.

EssexCat · 23/01/2026 21:24

Oh and it took about 6-8 weeks for my cycle to go back to normal and start TTC, my next baby was born 15 months later.

Periperi2025 · 23/01/2026 21:24

I'm so sorry for your loss.

My friend was pregnant again (unplanned then MAP failure) 3 months after full term still birth and crash c section. All went well, but heavily medicalised, monitored and stressful and her DC is now in high school.

Thortour · 23/01/2026 21:26

I’m so sorry for your loss. I lost my ds 15 years ago. I didn't go to the check up because I couldn’t face it.

My periods came back quickly and I was pregnant again the same year.
I went on to have three more children.
It never leaves you and you change but things get better.
I light a candle every year to remember him. I’ll light a candle for your ds. X

SorryImnotpsychic · 23/01/2026 21:29

Unless you have any physical concerns you can ask for a call. I had to have a check up after a TFMR not that long ago and I had a telephone consultation . My due date was early February and it’s just so hard isn’t it. You feel like you want to lock yourself away and I still can’t face anyone and I feel desperately sad at strange times (I’ll wake up at 4/5 am very often inconsolable) . I had got a little babygro with hearts on thinking it would be cute for Valentine’s Day before things went terribly wrong. I wish I hadn’t got it as it breaks my heart. I wish I had some words of wisdom how to get through this to help you.
I have an overwhelming urge to get pregnant again asap but I don’t know if I can as I’m 42 so it may have been my last chance.

I am really so sorry you are also going through this I’m sending you lots of love ❤️

ByRedBee · 23/01/2026 21:35

It’s probably best you do the appointment on the phone as there may be other babies there the same age as your baby would of been
sending hugs to you at this difficult time x

TheClocksFast · 23/01/2026 21:37

Thinking of you… xx

Notashamed13 · 23/01/2026 21:45

Sorry for your loss OP, 11 years ago I was in exactly the same position as you (also a knot), you absolutely do not need to have a 6 week check if you are not ready. I bled for around a month if I recall, we lost our boy in January 2015 and I got positive for rainbow baby in the following July, but I'm pretty sure my cycle returned quite promptly. I know it seems bleak right now but I can promise you 💯 that you will get through this xxx sending you much love xxx

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