Absolutely worn out, two bed wetters - please help!!

[pandarific]

Hi all, looking for some wisdom please because I’m absolutely shattered.

I’ve a 4-year-old and a 7-year-old, both neurodivergent, and we’re really struggling with night-time wetting. It’s inconsistent, which is what’s confusing us — they can be dry when staying with Nana or when we’re away, but at home they regularly wet the bed. Sometimes both of them, sometimes on and off, no obvious pattern.

We already do the usual: wee before bed, and my husband lifts them for a wee around 10:30pm, but they still often pee afterwards. I’m drowning in washing and just so tired.

I’m looking for anything that helped others:
• things that actually reduced night-time wetting
• alarms / products that worked (or didn’t)
• mattress protectors / bedding hacks to reduce laundry
• anything ND-specific that made a difference
• reassurance if this is just one of those phases

No shaming please — we’re not angry at them at all, just exhausted and trying to problem-solve. If something worked for your child, I’d love to hear it. Even small wins would help right now.

Thank you

Ah bless you. It is very hard. I would definitely try different brands of pull ups. My sons were also very tall and the only ones that worked the best was the Huggies Dry nights which goes up to aged 14. They are more expensive but Sainsbury's often have them on offer for half price.

My 11 yo bewets all the time and my 3 yo is dry all night and has been since 2, so I don’t think it’s a something you can train. We use pull ups at night as otherwise the mess and cleaning is just too much.

My DS, who is 10, still wets the bed. We were referred and given some things to do which do seem to have helped. Things like no drinks for 2 hours before bed, double voiding etc. The thing we use the most is getting him up when we go to bed, we don't go to bed until maybe 1am so get him up then to go for a wee and sometimes its surprising how much he can wee when we get him up.

Bet sheets which stop the bed getting wet are a godsend.

Highly recommend these mats - get 2 or 3 per child and they can change them themselves during the night. They wash brilliantly and were a game changer for us.

www.peapodmats.com

@pandarific I think you need to shop around for different pull ups and maybe discuss a barrier cream with the gp. Then water proof the bed 😊

I put a waterproof mattress protector (from IKEA) on my son's bed, a normal sheet, then a brolly sheet on top. The brolly sheet wraps under the mattress so it is less likely to move around in the night (or you can place it under the normal sheet). I bought sheets with pictures on that he would like, but you can also get adult side brolly sheets if your kids don't like the child ones, have a bigger bed, or you find they move around so much that you just need more coverage.

It doesn't mean you won't still be tired, as you'll still be woken up in the night and have to change, possibly wash, your child(ren); but at least if you can whip the brolly sheet off and put a new one on, it's quicker and easier than having to remake the entire bed.

Also, DS still wore pull ups at night. I don't know if or when he would have grown out of it naturally, but it only stopped when he developed a serious ilness at 7.

https://www.thenappylady.co.uk/brolly-sheets.html

I know it’s exhausting for
you (sympathies, I know what it’s like) but remember that 4 and 7 is still very young. With my youngest DC it was only when they had a tonsillectomy that it resolved - aged 12.

Also these pants for a bit of extra protection when you’re on holiday / sleepovers / school trips (my DC refused to wear pull-ups after age 6). shop.eric.org.uk/products/cheeky-wipes-childrens-pants-1

My friend had issues with her 10yo and she said the alarm was brilliant

I’d recommend absolutely no squash or juice. Water only.

My 4 year old is still inconsistent but has been out of nappies day and night since 2.5 so it’s not an issue with toilet training….but similar to your DS has eczema that irritates his genitals so we only use a pull up on the odd night e.g in a hotel where we might be in the same bed and can’t easily change the sheet. I actually think his bed wetting comes from two things - when he’s congested (he has allergies) or when he’s very itchy so his sleep is disturbed. It’s these two things I’m trying to sort and I’m pretty confident that he wouldn’t wet the bed if sleeping well and normally. I think there’s lots of cases of bed wetting that are a symptom of something else - apparently mouth breathing and bed wetting are linked.

His sister who required no potty training at all and just switched to the toilet aged 2 wore pull ups at night until around 4.5.

DS9 has never yet been dry at night. We have been referred to the incontinence service and have to keep a 12 week input/output diary of drinks and wee before they'll suggest anything else. In the meantime, we have found nundies are good for night time wetting.

Pull ups and then medication

My nearly 6 year old son has just stopped nighttime bedwetting. What made the difference for us was looking into retained reflexes and engaging in a programme of treatment for this. Within two weeks of starting the brushwork treatment he was totally dry at night, having previously been wetting and using nappies every night.

As it was explained to us: whilst the hormonal aspect of nighttime dryness is important, if they have retained their moro reflex then anything stimulating their spine (pyjama bottoms, lying on their back) will stimulate their bladder.

OP please don't feel any shame, my two are not ND and were 5 and 8 before they were dry at night.Their young adults now and absolutely fine.

For my 8yr old we went to GP and he prescribed the hormone. DS had never ever been dry at night despite being dry since 2 in the day. He was dry from the day he took his first tablet. He stopped the hormone after 3 months and remained dry, almost as if it had retrained his bladder.

5 year old was ill and had a fever s9 was dehydrated,.was dry at night and just stayed dry when she was better. Bizarre.

Definitely recommend asking the GP for the hormone. Was amazing.

Good luck.to you all.

Desmopressin.

Wipe clean mattress protectors rather than always washing, or draw sheets rather than whole bed size sheets.

Another saying doing better at Nana's is a thing but it can be a sign of a LOT of anxiety about sleeping away from home and wetting the bed, so if anything I would discourage nights away. If a seven year old is up half the night because they are too scared of wetting the bed and too embarrassed to tell you, it's just horrible for them. They are probably more embarrassed than they are letting on.

Nice thick fleece blanket under duvet, then often you can get away with just washing the blanket. And it feels nice and snuggly, not a punishment.

Bed pants. And layer up with bed protectors - we have a waterproof mattress protector and then bed pads. Either disposables (the ones that stick tonthe sheet) or washable ones depending on whether I habe a laundry backlog!

My 5 year old has gone from consistently dry to being inconsistent and like you going through a mountain of washing!

he goes to bed at 730 so now trying to make sure he has drunk everything by about 530 and keeping an eye on his tooth brushing as was realising he was drinking a large cup of water when brushing his teeth 🤦‍♀️ for him I’m finding that I don’t think he’s drinking that much at school at then being really thirsty later so am making sure I’m bringing a water bottle with squash to pick up.

another factor that I found affecting bed wetting…. And no idea if this is physically correct!…. But he had some constipation and that seemed to tie in with it?? No he’s on movicol it has improved things

It’s very normal to be wet at night at this age. Pull ups.

DS12 wore pull-ups at night until well into Y2. When we went on holiday he wore pull-ups just in case until 9ish as any time zone changes seemed to unsettled things.
He's still not super reliable at waking and we have to help him remember not to drink too much after dinner. He often wakes having done a 'drip', dashes to the loo so I'm not sure he's fully there yet hormone wise but at least is waking so it's just a PJ change rather than needing a sheet change.

I'm very glad I found this thread as I'm also a bit overwhelmed with the washing with my nearly-5 yr old wetting the bed every night!
She wears aldi pull ups but somehow wets round them! I've just ordered the huggies one on Amazon.

I have been doing the layering sheets and waterproof sheets thing in theory, but with one in the wash every day there's only one left...

I have just remembered I have some puppy pads that I got for putting in the cat's travel boxes for going to the vet (one of them likes a protest-wee) so going to try one of those on the bed - Should be quicker to change than sheets!

If that works I might order the reusable bed pads.

Funnily enough DD's duvet never seems to get wet. I think a) the wee goes downwards onto the sheet, and b) she likes to have a fleece blanket around her under the duvet, so sometimes I have to wash that.

Can't the youngest just wear a night time pull up and eldest incontinence knickers? As previous poster said just wait for hormones to kick in. Surely easier than so much additional laundry and urine smelling bedrooms.

Just put them in pull ups. Its not a training thing, it's a hormone that they either produce or don't. I think they can give medication to stimulate it but not until they're older.

As a ND child bed wetter who’s now in her 50’s I see so much coming out now regarding sleep disordered breathing and tongue tie/high narrow pallet/mouth breathing and being ND.

Certainly worth ruling out.

It’s completely normal for 7 years olds not to be dry at night? I’m all for reassurance when it’s needed but come on now.. you know that’s not true.

Common (as in, most children do this) - no.
Normal (as in, within a normal range and not necessarily indicative of a longer term problem) - yes.