Giving the ring back - Settle a debate?

[ChicJoker]

Hypothetical, debating a friend. If a couple are engaged and then breakup, should the ring be given back? Does the value of the ring influence your decision?

If only engaged the ring should be given back. If they are married, she can keep it.

Depends entirely on the circumstances. If a mutual no-fault agreement - equal partnership - yes give back.
If the giver has committed serious misdemeanours - financial/playing around/deception then keeping it may be appropriate.

This is what judge Judy always quotes as the law but thats in the USA. Not sure if the same applies in the UK

Family heirloom - yes. Otherwise would depend on why we broke up.

Defintely keep! It was a gift! Someone 'asking for the ring back' is being petty!

If the giver breaks it off or has treated receiver badly and wasted her time it’s fine to keep and sell or whatever.

I kept mine. Years later I used it as part payment for my wedding ring when I married my now husband. Probably not the done thing but money was tight 😂

I had a broken engagement due to me damaging his car in an accident! I returned a beautiful, expensive necklace his great aunt gave me but I kept the ring and gave it to my mum to wear, which she still wears 40 years later. I did get his beloved car repaired, which cost more than the ring!

Nope the values does not matter, if you give someone a present/ring don’t expect it back, you either give it to them selflessly or give it to them with conditions, if you give it to them with conditions then you never really gave it to them

Personally I would not belittle myself and be so petty as to ask for the ring or any other gift back, I’m way to proud and stoic for stuff like that

Leave, cut ties, no contact and move on and enjoy single life, life is cheaper without a partner, work a bit harder and save some money.

However if they wish to give it back it’s up to you if you want to take it, I personally wouldn’t , when I give a lover or anyone else something it’s theirs to keep

I value peace off mind over petty squabbling over material goods

I agree with this. That said, i broke off one engagement and kept the ring as it was a cheap stand in, and am now separated (my choice) but still wear the ring on my other hand as it was paid for out of savings that included an inheritence i received. Family heirlooms should be returned either way though i think.

Traditionally,if the girl breaks it she gives it back, if he breaks it off she keeps it. Its nothing more than a reservation,like a train seat,so not to be thought of as a gift the way jewllery usually would be.

Or potentially a way to feed your kids, like my mother had to, by spawning her rings when we were homeless at Christmas and my POS father had emptied their account and was refusing to pay any maintenance, to try to force her to go back to him.

But yeah, from your ivory tower I guess it just looks like "scruff behaviour".

The ring is the property of the purchaser. The accepting person is wearing it as a token of their promise. If you don't accept the proposal of marriage you don't get the ring. If you change your mind and decline the proposal of marriage after all you have to give the ring back.

Perfect answer.

Yes you do. A ring is given 'In contempkation if marriage'. If the marriage doesn't happen, legally the ring must be returned

We do what we have to do x. Did your husband know?

I wouldn’t give the ring back, it was given as a gift!

The ring was given with the intention of marriage. That didn't happen, so the ring should be returned

This is not the case in the UK

I think it depends who breaks it off.

You have a contract and give an engagement ring in contemplation of a marriage. If the marriage does not go ahead then the contract is broken and the ring should be given back.

Well, if she dumped him she should give the ring back, but if it's the other way round she can keep it unless it's a family heirloom in which case it should be returned.

What if the recipient of the ring was the cause of the break up?

Legally ring should be given back at least on Judge Judy, but if its not you keep your nose out, in none on your concern

It's not a gift