To think current concerns over screen time is bordering hysteria

[Tiredboymum22]

I think it’s over the top.

If my kids didnt have screens, nothing would get done. I’m mostly solo parenting. Family can’t babysit, husband works late 6 days a week. Childcare costs are through the roof.

I have a 6-year-old with ASD and a very hyperactive toddler. Eldest is obsessed with numbers and Minecraft, uninterested in his little brother a lot of the time. Up at 4.30 am most mornings too. I give my toddler the tablet when I’m trying to cook or tidy up (once he’s done playing with his toys).

I am criticised by older members of my family and told I should let him “help me” cook. Sorry but no.

Now I’m seeing countless articles and comments about the harm of too much screen time, but I think people are missing a lot of nuance.

aibu?

I’m not sure that I entirely agree with this.

There have always been extroverts and introverts in society. I was brought up way before the internet and iPhones and locked myself away with books.

Conversely I think that the internet and phones have opened up society a lot to everyone. Accessing information about local clubs, hobby and interest groups, and classes is so much easier now than in the days when you had to schlep down to the local library for information. Ditto re-connecting with friends and family.

Tbh I think women working full time, as good a development as that is, has had as much, or almost more of an affect on the lack of community cohesion, than screens.

Kids aren't allowed play anymore in a way that best suits their development, that is being out and about with other kids having adventures, solving problems, climbing and jumping, negotiating play and being deeply engaged in something imaginative that goes on for hours. Even those that have a lot of outside play do so under the watchful eye of an adult who intervenes every time an argument develops or when they climb too high, taking away their opportunity to truly thrive socially and to learn how to assess risk. We've really done our kids a disservice by setting up social norms around safety only without balancing this against the benefits of outside play. Can parents now even imagine how easy life would be if we could tell them to go out for an hour while we cook the dinner or do some cleaning. Then we could spend quality time with them at home because all our needs would be met. The screens are filling the gap that we created. I don't know the answer but the excessive screen usage I believe is just a symptom not the cause of the issue.

I’m not sure that I entirely agree with this.
There have always been extroverts and introverts in society. I was brought up way before the internet and Iphones and locked myself away with books.
Conversely I think that the internet and phones have opened up society a lot to everyone. Accessing information about local clubs, hobby and interest groups, and classes is so much easier now than in the days when you had to schlep down to the local library for information.
Tbh I think women working full time has had as much, or almost more of an affect on the lack of community cohesion, than screens.

I don't think this phenomenon has anything to do with genuine introversion: "introvert" has become a sort of shorthand for antisocial or misanthropic behaviour, which you see all the time in the "I hate people" threads. Genuine introversion is a different ballgame altogether.

In theory you're right that the internet opens things up. I think it's really good for special interest groups or people who feel marginalised by society in various ways; I don't want to minimise this.

But the negative side of that is that if people feel they can find all they need online they no longer see the benefits of having to rub along with people who they haven't chosen. There's a big social benefit in learning the skills to deal with people who are different from you. The internet and social media allows people to sidestep this.

As for women working I completely disagree with this. Women who work are women who have access to money and perspective outside the home. I can't see why having a 1950s style gender division really supports the community. It just means women are trapped in the domestic sphere.

You’re parenting a a child with additional needs so your experience will be wildly different for those commenting with neurotypical children

It’s an interesting debate that’s for sure.

I take your point about not being forced to rub along with different groups of people, and this being reinforced by algorithms, but doesn’t the work place also provide that opportunity?

As for anti-social behaviour and misanthropy; I’m not certain that can all be blamed on screens can it?

Surely improved living standards post-war and politics in the 80s eg Thatcher’s “no such thing as society” have also played their part? The decline of youth clubs, public spaces, organised religion, increased car ownership, extended family members living further away from one another, have all played their part?

And just to be clear, I wasn’t advocating a return to 1950s style gender divisions at all, just pointing out that women have always in the past been at the forefront of holding communities together, and thinking beyond themselves.

Edit: and longer working hours, compared to those in some parts of the EU for example, preventing families enjoying stress free time together, and from volunteering for the guides & scouts or community groups, also have a negative impact.

Yes! I keep reading about these 1950s parents parenting generally X types. As in children should be seen and not heard etc. I was parented by boomers who very definitely didn't want to be that type of parent and I'm not alone. Obviously different people have different experiences, and some norms have changed, but I suspect there's a element of stolen valour. Like flag hanging types being obsessed with winning WW2 when it happened before they were alive.

Ugh. Generally X should read Generation X.

A 3 or 4 year old should not be spending time on an ipad at all let alone 2 hours, that is shocking that you think it ok

At 10 years old I would expect parents to monitor and ration the amount of time spent on handheld screens. By the time they get their own phones at about 12/13 or so its harder but given they're normally removed at school, and should be removed by bedtime in my view and held downstairs, they wouldnt be able to pack in 8 hours of use. A much older teen is harder to monitor but by them they're brain development is very far advanced compared to a small child

The wiring of the brain in the formative years needs to be protected at all costs.

I don't think the explosion in screen time and the explosion in mental health problems is a coincidence.
YABU

To be fair when I was a kid I used to get told off for 'always having my head in a book' or 'all that reading will strain your eyes'.adults never shut up going on about reading tok much!!

Absolutely laughable argument. Embarrassing to the people who have posted this and similar.

The wiring of the brain in the formative years needs to be protected at all costs

Totally agree with this!

The thing about TV is that it's open and can be a shared activity, one where conversations can be had and the parent keep an eye on content. It's also static, you can't take it with you so there's a break from the screen.

Phones and iPads are private, non-inclusive, and can be taken everywhere.

The same could be said about books, except I can't recall ever seeing anyone walk down the street (and cross it!) with their nose in a book. Nor is there any research that says reading books is harmful. That I know of.

We are seeing it in every classroom, all over the country, day in day out. Those of us that are decades into our teaching career have seen the change over the last 10 years. YouTube, in particular, is the devil for primary age. It absolutely destroys attention spans. There is so, so much evidence (research based and anecdotal) to prove that. The links for tiktok/SM and mental health in teens is more than just correlation. There is proven causation.

20 mins of learning games a day - fine.
An episode or 2 of bluey - fine.
Endless (or any imo) scrolling of absolute shite on YouTube - incredibly harmful

And yes, there is a difference between TV and screens. I can't remember the exact science but it was something to do with focal distance and impact on vision.

Fucking hell you've confused the 90s with the 1930s 🤣 what bollocks.
... gen X here , born mid 70s, my parents both worked full-time as did the vast majority of my friends parents.

Yes, in terms of physical issues myopia is increasing in children for this reason

But in terms of other differences between telly and social media/screens is that if its a programme, it has a beginning and an end, its got a story or concept or conversation with it in which flows from one to the next, often depending on what is being watched there are adverts

How people can compare the two with a straight face I do not know.

If you’re talking 100 years ago, well in those days usually only one parent worked
or if both were working then the child (if over 9 or 10) was probably working too.

100 years ago children of 9 or 10 and up to 14 were at school. Or at least in education.

Are you comparing watching Netflix on a tablet/phone to watching Netflix on TV?

Or comparing YouTube type stories/threads/shorts to watching TV?

Because children are mostly watching the latter. And the way they are produced for fast-paced, short-span, instant gratification is completely different to how TV programs are produced. They are very damaging. I would much, much, much rather my children watched Netflix on TV all day long than 30mins a day watching YouTube shorts/tiktok stories/threads. (Neither will happen but TV is definitely the better option).

I was answering someone elses point about how TV is vastly different in terms of its affect on childrens brain development compared to small handheld devices and SM scrolling (for shorthand, Im including a lot of things in there)

Because many posters keep saying, 'well if telly is ok, why not screens'.

Im not sure how many toddlers with these things in front of their faces are watching Netflix

But even if I go back to my point about how TV programmes are contained, slower paced, a story, conversation, a beginning and an end, if they are viewed consistently on small screens that also contributes to higher increases in myopia now being seen in children.

Ha yes, if you're expected to watch The Bill you soon find reading a book or even homework is the better alternative. TV was on all the time in my house, I watched kids TV after school and Eastenders and that was about it really as my parents controlled the content.

I have an 8 and 4 year old and have always limited screen time to an hour per day. I font mind then watching cartoons but won't allow too much gaming, tablets or YouTube. It's just my preference and what I think is best for my kids. I know a parent who allowed her kid screens all the time and the poor boy was addicted. He couldn't even make eye contact.

My kids loved tots tv ! And if they didn’t watch it because we had something else on they didn’t fling themselves on the floor and have a meltdown. My son has a 2 year old and they’re determined to avoid screens they don’t even like her watching a cartoon on tv. She loves looking at books and is ahead with all her milestones. Her cousins are a few years older and aren’t much more ahead in development it’s really sad

Agree 100%

It's the content. Modern content particularly on YouTube but also TV shows like Miss Annie are deliberately created to be overstimulating and addictive. They use physiologists to do this and openly talk about it at industry events such "you have to have x cuts per minute and mix animation and live action to keep them hooked". This about 2+ year old children.

Then the delivery method screens held close to the face instead of TVs, LED (blue light) instead of CRT (warm) and the quantity and of screen time all have effects of children's development

This is unlike the comparatively gentle cartoons and kids shows we watched on the family TV which were part of a schedule that's stopped. And there were concerns about too much screentime and shows being too stimulating then, not all parents allowed all shows or unlimited screentime.

I don't have on now either lol. Was a choice not money related