To think current concerns over screen time is bordering hysteria

[Tiredboymum22]

I think it’s over the top.

If my kids didnt have screens, nothing would get done. I’m mostly solo parenting. Family can’t babysit, husband works late 6 days a week. Childcare costs are through the roof.

I have a 6-year-old with ASD and a very hyperactive toddler. Eldest is obsessed with numbers and Minecraft, uninterested in his little brother a lot of the time. Up at 4.30 am most mornings too. I give my toddler the tablet when I’m trying to cook or tidy up (once he’s done playing with his toys).

I am criticised by older members of my family and told I should let him “help me” cook. Sorry but no.

Now I’m seeing countless articles and comments about the harm of too much screen time, but I think people are missing a lot of nuance.

aibu?

It’s the same with anything…. Too much of anything isn’t good for you!

my DD is 9, suspected ADHD and has an iPad since she was about 4. Loves Roblox and other iPad games. Shes an only child so any “entertaining” falls to us parents. Which we do our best but obviously can’t do it as much as she would like. So she will go her iPad…I try and get her to do arts and crafts, or anything else but she won’t.

Anyway, her screen broke. So she’s had no iPad for 2 weeks and the change in her has amazing. She’s been drawing, playing with toys, watching actual films, her behaviour has improved.

Yes we no longer live in a world where children are out and about playing in the streets. So iPads can play their part but when/if she gets her iPad back it will be greatly restricted!

As a teacher of 20+ years I can tell you that have seen the impact over those times, especially since smart phones, it is depressing.
Attention span, posture, peripheral vision, social skills, language development, listening skills, memory, physical health, academic application, teacher energy.... all impacted and that's before any content concerns or safeguarding risks come into it. It's really bad OP. Not all children, not all who have some access but the earlier they get it and the more time they spend increases their risk.
It's so sad to see it and seems so unfair that these children's lives would be different if they weren't exposed to it.

This is so important- so often kids get screens because it's the only way to get them to behave. But if they didn't have the screens they would be better behaved and need them less.

Nailed it!

Yes but screens, a massive reduction in physical activity (highly regulating for ND kids) and upfs have created an environment that makes it much, much harder for ND kids to regulate and develop attention. Childhood is very different to my childhood in the 70s. Where 1/3rd of women did work and actually children got less attention from their mum’s then they do now. But we played out for hours, walked to school, had made on site school lunches. Very different now

Yep agree with this. I saw a toddler at soft play centre refusing to go play as he just wanted his iPad…. To watch YouTube videos. This is shocking . But just 3 year old currently watching a few episodes of Bluey after full day at nursery whilst I clean up after dinner. I think that’s ok. It’s what, when, where and how long that’s important.

@TinyHousemouse You don't need loads of family support and money for activities and huge gardens to not give your child a screen though. And we're not really talking about the occasional use of screens which is not damaging, or allowing more TV when sick or disabled, we are talking about reliance on and overuse of them in society as a whole.
My point was that throughout human history and in many parts of the world people haven't had screens, children find ways to entertain themselves and they often find joy in far simpler things if the relentless over stimulation of screens is taken away.
People didn't just 'manage' because they didn't have screens, families were often very happy. If anything overuse of screens makes children's behaviour far worse, and makes them harder to manage.
Can you imagine going back in time and asking a an average family how they cope without a square black box for their kids to stare at. They would think you were mad.

And the comparison to central heating is illogical, central heating is a positive thing and does no harm whatsoever, screens are being proven to be damaging to kids. Listen to the educators on the thread.

Agreed. I watched parents put a tablet in the hands of an under 2 the other day and then push a dummy in his mouth to really seal the deal on any interaction. He wasn't fussing and hadn't asked for it. Sad.

Truthfully - this isn't really about the kids but much more about projection from adults in society who are feeling too much pressure to be 'on' all the time via their own screens.

The internet and smart devices for most people, especially those in jobs that use any technology, has meant a creep creep creep of jobs into every minute of your life. Always available, always checking messages and emails even when 'not working'. (Increasingly companies don't give work mobile phones - can't imagine why...)

If you're not working - you're researching - things to buy - holidays, DIY projects, houses, food, etc etc
Doing admin - taxes, bills, school stuff
Medical things, appointments, banking
Keeping in touch - emails, WhatsApp, Instagram, Facebook
Hobbies - downloading photographs, listening to books,
News, podcasts, message boards, dating apps

And on top of that you have to exercise (after researching all the best ways), prepare food (after reading about all the latest research), teach your children the million and one things they need to be taught (after reading all the latest research), get them to school, make sure they are clothes, fed and emotionally supported (see above), have sex (after reading all the latest research), maintain romantic relationships (after looking for advice about how best to maintain a relationship online),

I could go on, but you see my point?

Children starting school without the requisite skills is a societal failing - not a parental one - we should have decent safety nets in the form of things like sure start (one of the most successful schemes ever - and the lack of something similar could be seen to be contributing to everything we are seeing happens now) and access to high quality early years health and education for all children.

And the problem we are seeing in education may not be because the children's brains are being rotted by screens and social media but because our education system stinks,they hate it and isn't really fit for the way the world is today - AI is going to kill pretty much all the jobs that most kids are being prepared for - society as we know it is going to change in ways we just cant conceive right now - we owe our children the right to be taught and navigate the online world in the same way we teach them to navigate the real world - and that isn't to ban them from it - but to make sure their access to it is safe and managed and balanced with other things in their lifes.

Sorry! Quoted wrong post - this was meant for the poster you were replying to.

Give over. My son has ADHD. Looking at the rest of rhe family it's almost certainly genetic. But if he's had too much screen time, is over tired and eaten crap he is grumpy, argumentative, rigid and anxious. If he's been out in the fresh air, eaten good food and had a nice time with his family he is a hilarious, good humoured, kind, thoughtful, all round lovely ball of enthusiasm. Environment doesn't change the disability but it makes a massive difference to behaviour. I personally think we have the same levels of nerodivergence now as we always did, but environmental factors mean the way it often presents is vastly different.

I think we all agree cbeebies at home for an appropriate amount of time, can stay. Doesn't mean all the other stuff isn't problematic. It's not hysteria to face up to a real problem for which there is clear evidence, no matter how much the cognitive dissonance doesn't want us to

TV.

If you’re talking 100 years ago, well in those days usually only one parent worked
or if both were working then the child (if over 9 or 10) was probably working too.

The biggest danger for me of screen addiction is the zombification which it creates: the dopamine dependency factor of it and the fact that so many people use it as a social and emotional prop. I do think this has very significant harms: it is impacting people's attention spans and concentration and focus. I do think there's a difference from TV in the way that its used. TV can be brain rot as well but it doesn't have the same addictive quality and also TV has a social component to it which phone-based screen time lacks.

The impact its had on people's ability to socialise with other human beings is also a real problem. You see this in spades on here with all the threads praising "introversion" and the constant desire to shut people out. It seems to have impacted people's ability to feel part of a wider community and their ability to cope with any kind of social friction in the real world. It's a truism to attribute this to COVID but I think screen addiction and social media has enabled people to "curate" their social personas in such a way that they don't feel able to manage real interactions.

I think disproportionate fuss is made over a 3 or 4 year old watching an hour or two of appropriate content on an iPad each day, which let’s face it isn’t all that much worse, with some supervision, than watching crap on TV.

While not enough is made of the 10-18 bracket spending eight hours on often mindless social media content every day.

Online gaming is a far cry from watching endless YouTube videos. Very very different. Unfortunately we are heading towards having an almost illiterate group who are unable to pay attention for anything more than 3 minutes.

It's unfortunately all too common. Very very sad. No baby in a pram needs an Ipad. Ever.

Some some time in a classroom
and you will see the damage to kids today. Lots of them cannot hold a conversation, cannot concentrate for
more than 5 minutes and struggle
with basic comprehension.

The conversation thing is really scary - they can talk but don't listen, don't allow turn taking and have no clue how to answer. Not all kids but it gets more every year. Would say 60% of my year 7s struggle.

Too much screen time is often linked with worse symptoms in children with ADHD. Can also lead to poor sleep and makes things harder for the child to focus and can affect behaviour resulting in even more inattention and hyperactivity. https://www.buoyhealth.com/learn/adhd-screen-time-hidden-trap www.buoyhealth.com/learn/adhd-screen-time-hidden-trap]]]]

It's not that long ago that TV was crap! Parents were hardly relying on TV to parent their kids back in the 50s with just one or 2 channels and mostly adult content and terrible reception.
Kids used to play! They played out on the street, ran around, read, or wrote or drew or played with toys or balls, made up games. Or helped parents with chores.

I think people forget the importance of play. It is literally what children are wired to do. It's how they learn, learn to negotiate with friends, role play certain roles in society, use their imagination, learn to be funny, create stories, use their physical body, get exercise. With long days at school followed by lots of screens, and sometimes over scheduled hobbies, play, apart from a couple of short play times at school, is often completely eradicated.

The proportion of single parent households was exactly the same 25 years ago as it was today (1 in 4). I was a single parent to three, including one with autism. I worked full-time. It was tough, but they didn’t have tablets/phones because they didn’t exist. We managed.

It’s terrifying to see the change in children. Parents of young children probably can’t see it because they’re unfamiliar with development in children pre-screens. In years to come I think giving screens to toddlers and young children will be seen as the modern equivalent of smoking around them. It’s proven to be harmful, but parents will make excuses, just as our grandparents did about the dangers of passive smoking.

Don’t be ridiculous, screens don’t give you cancer!

I’m not saying stick your baby in a car seat facing the tv for 12 hours a day or give a 5 year old a phone to use at will but those terrified that 20 minutes of iPad games or YouTube Kids or whatever will destroy your kids attention span and give them mental health disorders are being unreasonable!

Is the conversation stuff really about screens though? A lot of that comes down to shyness or not wanting to engage with random adults. I’d be more concerned about them not being able to interact normally with peers.

They turned on the TV.

The TV has been around since the 50s in many homes.

Or...
Both of my grandmothers had home help - one had maids and a governess and one had an older relative living in the home.

Many homes had regular help of one kind or another, whether cleaners or relatives who took the children off the mothers' hands for a little while.

There was also booze and valium.

And the wooden spoon was deployed much more frequently back then than now.

The teachers on this thread are literally TELLING YOU the impact this is having on your children. They see it, day in day out, and have witnessed the change in your kids over the years! But people are STILL arguing that it’s fine and anyone who disagrees is judgemental? Fucking Christ alive. I honestly despair. Wake up. iPad kids have lazy parents, end of. Deny it all you want. And yes I am judging you!