To think current concerns over screen time is bordering hysteria

[Tiredboymum22]

I think it’s over the top.

If my kids didnt have screens, nothing would get done. I’m mostly solo parenting. Family can’t babysit, husband works late 6 days a week. Childcare costs are through the roof.

I have a 6-year-old with ASD and a very hyperactive toddler. Eldest is obsessed with numbers and Minecraft, uninterested in his little brother a lot of the time. Up at 4.30 am most mornings too. I give my toddler the tablet when I’m trying to cook or tidy up (once he’s done playing with his toys).

I am criticised by older members of my family and told I should let him “help me” cook. Sorry but no.

Now I’m seeing countless articles and comments about the harm of too much screen time, but I think people are missing a lot of nuance.

aibu?

Of course there are exceptions, kids with SEND using them for regulation come to mind

Though "they're regulating" has become something of a trope, opinions differ on this: https://thescreentimeconsultant.com/resources/essays/screensdonothelpchildrenregulate

My daughter is 17, the world wasn’t that different, social media was created before her birth, and all social media existed when she became a teen. No they didn’t have a tablet, but definitely watched a lot of cartoons, though were at nursery in the week so probably as not as some kids. My son especially was in a dream world zoned out when watching cartoons, but now works up in the city in a professional role, no issues from his excessive screen time. He also had a laptop from 8, which he was on a lot and PS4 - more so than my youngest.

Absolutely. (Although private schools aren't absolved of the effects either, but less so).

Particularly when screens are used as babysitters like in the examples most people seem to think are an argument for screens. Screens can be great, but not the mindless scrolling on YouTube just to keep kids quiet. The damage of that is horrific.

I was a single parent of 2 with no screens. No SEND because it didn’t happen 20 years ago - but they had their own challenges. You have to teach your children to behave appropriately to allow you to get things done. If you just stick them on screens all the time how will they ever learn🤷‍♀️

it’s bloody hard being a single parent, easier with screens I’m sure but that doesn’t make it right

My approach is to ensure my child has enough going on his little life that screen time is naturally limited by everything else we do with him.
One thing that annoys me is the "either playing out unsupervised or inside on screens" rhetoric. It's not either/or

Couldn't disagree more.

Kids managed to entertain themselves in the past without screens.

Play, reading, watching some TV (kids programmes were only available between around 3.30 to 5pm). Go outside and touch grass.

No wonder there are so many people these days struggling with 'concentration' issues. It's screen time.

Agree, or claiming its screens or crying, like its a binary choice

I work in a shop and day after day mums come in with babies in prams with phones or whatever in their little hands. No interaction from mum, no awareness of surroundings, just eyes fixed on a screen.

Mums brought up larger families than we have these days and not a screen in sight. Its no wonder children are growing up being unable to hold proper conversations or socialise properly.
Kids are starting school unable to spell their own names, count to ten or read and its all down to laziness from mums relying on screens to occupy children.

Give the children a screen then they throw a strop when it is removed because they are addicted. Then they often get labelled as ADHD when what they lack is proper parents giving them time and involving them rather than saying they would never get anything done if the kids did not have a screen. I had 4 children under 7 and no family support and yet managed.

A lot of people work from home so noise levels are an issue, children don't have the freedom to go out and play in the physical world with their peers the way they once did, family size has shrunk rapidly in recent decades and often there is no sibling.

I agree, it's a tragedy so many children spend their time alone, sedentary and passive even when they do have other kids to play with. But it's a wider cultural issue too, birthday parties are full of kids on phones, if you arrange playdates kids expect to be on their phones for this time and really do not like being told to leave them by the door, and asking them to makes you a very unpopular playdate host!

It's great you are available to ensure they're not on screens but it's not an feasible option for many.

Yes thank you I’m aware of that, and I think you know full well that this is not the point I’m making. I am talking about people who are in perfect health, plenty of family help, money to spend on activities and toys and nice houses with gardens etc etc preaching to parents who are, to give one example, incredibly sick and/or disabled and do use a screen occasionally as a result: “your 3 year old watches TV?! Mine’s never even SEEN one”

And yes people were sick etc before screens and they “managed”. People didn’t always live in centrally heated buildings, and they “managed”. Shall we all go and live outside?

Yes, this bothers me too. 'Well, do you want me to give my toddler Peppa Pig on my phone at full volume or do you want them screaming in the middle of the cafe?!?!?!'. There are actually quite a lot of other options here...

This! - gaming that involves proactive and reactive planning and strategy are completely different from mindless scrolling of You Tube shorts.

If your kid is 6 year old, it don't need to be as bad as 1 year old on screen. If you're worried and you need downtime, let him explore cupboard with plastic containers. Children find it fascinating. Just child-proof cupboard.

Yep, the only solution is to ban all the screens apart from the ones everyone on here is using to get on MN.

for toddlers and young children? It would be a great solution, why do they need screens at all?

I’ve just gone back to work and am teaching a GCSE English class. I asked them to check their daily screen time last week. It ranged from 8 hours to 16 hours. Imagine what they could be achieving in that time. As it stands most of them will struggle to pass. The landscape has changed enormously even since I was last teaching five years ago

This is a straw man though. It's like saying you don't need to worry about guns because knives already exist. Or you dont need to worry about nuclear weapons because bombs already exist. There is a huge amount of research now (proper peer reviewed evidence) that the addictive algorithms of the likes of YouTube are genuinely more harmful. Just being able to have the screens everywhere and take them with us is genuinely more harmful.

It’s really not.

I do actually agree with @soupyspoon

It’s understandable, but there are undoubtedly parallels.

I agree completely. My daughter is busy but she enjoys all her activities and they are good for her. Any screening time is generally educational (the likes of Storybots or Deadly 60) or we watch TV together and talk about it at bedtime. Tablets and games consoles are a different thing altogether than watching something educational or with a parent.

Where has anyone said ban all screens? What about responsible use of screens to prevent damage to kids makes you so angry and defensive?

I have a very active 2 year old. Her helping me looks like mixing something in a bowl, mixing and ‘cooking’ vegetable peels, putting things from one bowl to another, pouring water from one container to another, spraying some water on the floor and wiping it off, randomly putting pegs on things, ‘chopping up’ some Velcro food toys on a board, rolling out some home cooked play dough and making ‘biscuits’. There are SO many things that will fascinate a toddler and be easy to arrange.

But then we are criticised for micromanaging; why can’t kids just chill any more is a whine I see a lot on here.

I don’t agree with it, but I do see it.

This, i was told when mine were little to consider screens as wasted time. It's okay to waste a bit of time, but if you're wasting a lot of time then you're not splashing in puddles, or exploring woods, or learning about friendship, or reading exciting books, or enjoying lovely chats with mum or dad (or anyone else), or building lego or making up imaginary worlds.

Oh dear this is the shout back of my 14 year old when I’m limiting their access to them.

Our brains are developed that is the point. Children’s brains are not and screens are causing damage.

I work in education, it IS a huge problem and is a REAL concern. I have seen a huge shift in children’s concentration, ability to listen, engage and their mental health since we parent using screens.

I don’t believe in complete removal as they are growing up in this modern world but posters would be silly not to listen to the very real scientific research coming out and lived experiences of educators.,