To think current concerns over screen time is bordering hysteria

[Tiredboymum22]

I think it’s over the top.

If my kids didnt have screens, nothing would get done. I’m mostly solo parenting. Family can’t babysit, husband works late 6 days a week. Childcare costs are through the roof.

I have a 6-year-old with ASD and a very hyperactive toddler. Eldest is obsessed with numbers and Minecraft, uninterested in his little brother a lot of the time. Up at 4.30 am most mornings too. I give my toddler the tablet when I’m trying to cook or tidy up (once he’s done playing with his toys).

I am criticised by older members of my family and told I should let him “help me” cook. Sorry but no.

Now I’m seeing countless articles and comments about the harm of too much screen time, but I think people are missing a lot of nuance.

aibu?

I do support social media restrictions - I don’t think any child under 13 needs to watch tik tok etc however limiting screen time in its entirety is absurd - and pointless when all homework set for my reception age and above children is ALL on the computer / apps and so on - maths, English reading the lot. I find it annoying and irritating being lectured to by the kids school about screen time when they are the ones who have forced us to have a computer / tablet in our home which I otherwise wouldn’t have gotten until the kids were much older

If that's the case I had a LOT of screen time as a kid in the 1980s. TV and computer games. And had a lot of time doing other things too. On the whole I think it's healthier than hours of homework.

Before screens, parents got things done. I’ve got nothing against anything, but if they are delaying speech etc, as health visitors, Paediatricians, and teachers say, perhaps parents need to restrict them a bit.

How is it incompatible with modern life though? The issue is kids are so addicted to screens they don't know what to do with themselves when they are switched off, and now parents dont know what to do with their children either.
I don't allow screens on week days and my kids play together, they do homework or read or play a game or go on the trampoline. Sometimes they are wrestling upstairs and yes it's noisy but thats kids being kids.
I think it's so sad when you see siblings who don't play together because the older one is only interested in computer games or the TV and barely interacts with their sibling.

Raise my daughter very similarly. Language delay. It's just one of those things sometimes. We read to her and she loves books, she can play independently and has a great imagination, she loves to help around the house etc, we talk to her, narrate our day, but still, very limited speech at the moment.

I agree, the level of judgement re screens is ridiculous in my opinion and often those sitting in judgement are in a privileged position that they aren’t acknowledging.

I’m in my 40s. My mum had cancer when I was little, and I remember being cuddled up with her watching Disney videos and Sesame St over and over. I watched a LOT of tv in those days. I also grew up loving books, and art, and puzzles, and still do. I got a first class law degree, have a decent job, I play sport, I don’t think it harmed me one bit.

I went through cancer treatment for a year from DD being 4 months old, and then had a blood clot on my brain from the hormone blockers they stick you on when she was about 2. DH couldn’t just give up work so yes, like I did, DD also watched quite a bit of TV in those days. Do I think it’s harmed her? No. She’s now 4 and watches things appropriate for her age about 30 mins a day, some days she won’t watch any at all. And like I did, LOVES books. I don’t let her watch my phone because I am trying not to be on it too much myself!

Op concentration, imagination, conversational skills … a bit of screen time is fine but having a screen mind a child is robbing them of a childhood. I will die on that hill after seeing the difference when after I make them actively take part in family life vs leaving them to it

Certain screen use harmful to their concentration levels. The toddler would be better off watching a film or CBeebies. If it's 4:30am you can stream something. Still a TV, still a screen, so not ideal, but you can choose what the toddler watches - be the best parent you can be.

Minecraft for the older child I don't have a problem with.

Agree; highly addictive and kids far too young and immature for all the information out there

As has been said umpteen times there's a vast difference between tv and using a tablet or phone ... look it up. You say yourself you don't let your dc use the phone

How do you think people managed 40 years ago when few homes had computers?

Or 80 years ago when none had TVs?

What aspect exactly of modern life mean screens are needed?

You don’t have a fire to clear out and light, the washing is done by the machine , modern hobs and cookers much safer than of old

busy? You may work outside the home more but you can get away with far less in the home. Microwaves , online shopping … compare making a broth 50 years ago - manual grating of all that veg, with use of a food processor or blender today

how we chose to spend our time and how we prioritise things , how much pressure we feel to do all that we see fed to us

Tv is a bit different though you don’t carry with you 24/7. It is smartphones and tablets I worry about it

No I don’t, but my point was that “screens” is used as an all encompassing term to include TV, and those who are able to say “oh I’ve never even let my 3 year old SEE a TV let alone watch one” are not acknowledging the privilege that has allowed them to make that choice.

In victorian times they worried people (particularly women) were reading to much. And we turned our fine. In the 90s it was telly..

Agreed. I grew up in the late 80s/90s and as 4/5/6 year old clearly remember coming homing from school and being glued to the tv every afternoon till dinner time. CBBC, Blue Peter, Fun House, Neighbours & Home & Away! This isn’t a new thing (when they're not talking about excessive amounts anyway) I don’t remember watching much tv the rest of the time, my mum wasn’t in any way a lazy parent and did loads with me at other times but we both needed downtime- I probably needed some chill time after school and she needed to do housework & cook dinner (she was a single parent & worked while I was at school). I turned out ok, my brain didn’t turn to mush, I’m not lazy & I’ve got a successful career. I let my 5 yo do the same - an hour or so of screen time after school. You can also ensure your (younger) kids watch much far more educational & appropriate stuff than what we were stuck with. I’m sure Home & Away probably wasn’t that appropriate for a 5 year old. Parents need to stop being made to feel guilty about everything. That said, there is a lot of research to show it can be damaging for under 2s. I wasn’t letting my DD have this much screen time at that age

Anyone who works in a state school will tell you that phones/tablets/gaming systems have been an absolute disaster for children's brains and their behaviour at school.

You do realise there are huge swathes of the world where families can't afford electricity let alone a TV right? I never thought I'd hear people being called privileged for NOT using a TV!

My own mother in law was raised with no electricity and one of 8 kids! She must have been immensely privileged then!

What is the difference between a tablet and tv though? Considering you can use a tv like a tablet if you want. Is it the fact you can switch to something else the second you’re bored on a tablet more easily than you can on a tv? My DD watches Bluey on her tablet and on tv in the same way but maybe when she gets a bit older she’ll be more interested in switching between shows on a tablet 🤷‍♀️

Sorry but using ASD as an excuse is not ok. I have 3 children with ASD and adhd all born within a year. This was pre tablets. There are 101 other things they can be doing.

You’re not going to win this debate here OP.
I wrote my dissertation on discourse around screens- there’s actually little to support the moral panic (negligible if you remove social media from equation). For every loudly publicised study that says screens are evil, there’s one, often not publicised at all that talks about causality being impossible to prove. Hence why when college of pediatrics released their screentime guidance few years back it focused on what there’s evidence for: make certain kids are active, that you have plenty meaningful interactions, avoid screens during meal times (because they can interfere with kids sensing their own satiety), avoid snacking while watching and aim for no screens 2h before bed.
What’s more interesting rewind to the introduction of TVs and it were exactly the same arguments rolled out. Rewind to the point when books became popular and easily accessible for everyone…and exactly the same arguments about health and collapse of civilisation were making rounds. Just ignore it and do your best for your kids whatever that looks like.:)

There was not hard empirical evidence that books or tv were damaging children's development. There is such evidence for screens.

Useless to even comment. One of these eternal, never ending topics.
Is reading good for you

Depends how much ? 🤷‍♀️

a toddler (under 3) should be having max of one hour per day. Plenty of time to cook dinner.

I do find it somewhat hypocritical that we're all told that too much screen time is bad for kids, yet my kids school has them watching about 20 minutes of tv PER DAY then they're expected to go home and do "a minimum of 5 minutes" homework on an app, no other alternative provided. Then they have a cheeky to send emails about limiting screen time and try not to have the tv in before school as it effects the children. Make it make sense