To want to rehome my dog

[Ubah]

Please read before judging as I know a lot of people adore their dogs. I love my dog too but I think for his sake it would be better to rehome him. I work full time far from home so he is alone all day every day. I spend a few hours in the evening with him and when I go to bed he whines until I get up and sit on the couch with him again. This can go on all night so he is obviously having separation anxiety or something like that. Also he has the house absolutely ruined from weeing all the time. I don’t give out to him I just clean it up but my house is beginning to stink from him. I’m wrecked when I get home from work and in the morning facing a long journey and cleaning up after his night and day of peeing on everything is just too much. I think he deserves a home where he is in company most of the day and lives with someone who can take him out during the day. There are no dog walkers in my area so I can’t avail of that service. I can’t let him out the back while I’m away as I live on a main road and he would get knocked down. Also my teenager, 14 year old, doesn’t want me to rehome him even though she rarely interacts with him and spends every second week with her dad anyway. She doesn’t clean up after him but she just has a kind heart. I do love my little dog but I really think he needs something more than I can give him. He’s ten now and so may only have a few more years. Am I bad for thinking about rehoming him? Thanks for reading

All you hating on OP are not nice people. You accuse OP of being cruel and heartless, your hatred towards OP, is cruel and heartless.

We all love our pets, but OPs circumstances have changed and she is struggling. Do you really think that if she was the cruel and heartless dog abuser you all accuse her of being she would post it on MN. That is some kind of sadism. There I have had my rant!

I have a rescue, it brings tears to my eyes when I think about what he went through. He was in a terrible state when I got him. But he now lives the best life ever. He is sitting at my feet now, he is my Velcro dog.

OP has done the right thing! He will get rehomed. PPs have given details of organisations that rehome older dogs. There are many lovely people out there that foster dogs,
I have learnt from this thread.

Well done OP for standing up for yourself.

@Ubah Please contact Molly Moos Westie Rescue in Limerick (they rehome dogs of all sizes and breeds and ages, not just westies. They're currently looking for a home for an 11 year old German shepherd), or Madra Dog Rescue in Galway or Dogs Trust in Dublin. If they can't help themselves they should be able to put you in contact with others who can.

Some rescues put certain dogs in foster homes until a permanent home is found. Please speak to a rescue to find out what can be done to help your dog, he really can't go on like this, it's not fair to him. I'm sorry you have to do this but as your circumstances have changed so much it's the right decision for his sake.

Leaving a dog alone to pee in the house for 12 hours and then moaning the dog wants attention at night makes OP an animal abuser, sorry. I'm not saying she wasn't once a good owner, but the life her dog has now is abuse by neglect.

It is so sad when people have to rehome a much loved pet, and I don't ever judge those who need to. But I absolutely do judge those who abuse their animals for months on end to selfishly keep them when they can't meet their needs, rather than realise they need to rehome them before they are in a situation where the animal's needs will be badly neglected, affecting their behaviour and chances of being rehomed. And I'm not sorry for judging. Not one bit.

I know and I am also hurt by this. I do not question your right to judge. In my judgment,
OP is not an abuser, she didn’t set out to hurt the dog, she is in a situation. She reached out: She is clearly desperate. This is not about you or I being wrong or right in how we feel. I say that gently, your rightful concern is this little dog as is the concern of every PP that has responded.

We all know that this dog needs to be rehomed ASAP.

And I want OP to continue to update us. Please do OP, even if is PM.

I will let ye know I promise. I can understand people being angry at me but please believe me I do not neglect my little dog. I adore him. That’s why it’s taken me so long to do anything because I don’t want to lose him. When I lived with my ex we had 3 dogs. Two rescues who have sadly passed away now. All my dogs were always adored and well looked after. The reason I asked the question here is because I am feeling so bad about him being alone so long. And of course he comes into our rooms and I would gladly let him sleep in my room but he cries because he loves sleeping on the couch in my living/sitting room. That’s where is spends all his time with me in the evenings if we are not outside. My heart will literally break after him but he deserves better than this and I know that. I’ve had him for ten years and he is as healthy as any dog can be due to regular vet check ups etc.
we all adore him and being called an animal abuser and being told I should be ashamed of myself is so hurtful but because I love him so much I can actually understand why people would say that. Edited to add I won’t be putting him into a rescue I am in contact with a woman who works in the vets that we go to and she is looking for a good home for him

Thank you OP, this has really brought tears to my eyes!

Mine too.

@Ubah I'm glad you have someone you can trust to help you find a suitable, safe home for him. Wishing you all the best, this must be so difficult for you ❤️

I think you are being really brave OP. There are lots of people out there who would be happy to take on a mature small dog. You are doing the ultimate thing to show that you love him by doing what's best for him.

Speak to the family who will judge you. Tell them how unhappy your dog sounds. Let them come up with reasonable solutions or offers of care if they can. Otherwise ignore them. This dog sounds miserable and would be better elsewhere.

Just watching him on the camera in my living room via my phone and he’s just sleeping on the couch. his favourite place 😊 would be so nice for him to have company. I will follow up anyway. Thanks again everyone

How awful to leave the poor dog alone all day every day. Shame on you. Rehome him to someone who can give him the love and attention he deserves. Shameful.

If they are such dog lovers, why are they not helping out?

'But your teenager can't be out of the house from 7am - 7pm surely? Can they not let them out into the garden when they get home from school / college?And failing that, can't a member of your family take them if they are dog lovers?'

This. Even if the dc cba to walk it she could at least let it out for a wee? School finishes at 3ish so surely the dog isn't alone from 7 til 7?

Glad you are giving it up though. It has a miserable life poor thing. I hope it is a small breed so the lack of exercise isn't as detrimental as it would be for a medium sized dog.

People will judge you no matter what decision you make.

I had a cat who used to poo and spray everywhere in the house. I was desperate to keep him so I tried everything for years to fix the issue but people were horrified that I could live in such an environment, I was being cruel to the cat for keeping him and being selfish when he clearly wasn't happy.

After 3 years I had to admit defeat and give him back to the breeder to see if a new different home would help and he could settle and be happy. I got ripped apart for rehoming him because I was having another baby and should get on with clearing it up/put a nappy on him. I was told I should never own another pet in my life, I was a terrible owner yet we have a very happy 15 year old cat who we got before the crazy cat and is still with us 9 years later.

You are doing the right thing in rehoming your dog and yes, it probably should have been done sooner but you were likely hoping to find a way around the situation so that you could keep him. Circumstances can change in the blink of a eye so there really needs to be less judgement over rehoming a pet. Nobody can predict the future and if we all worried about what might happen x years down the line nobody would ever have a pet.

Oh but don't you know you're not allowed to be mean because even though the dog is being left for 12 hours it's not neglect because she loves him, and so does teenage daughter who loves him so much she can't bear to rehome him but won't do a thing to help.

You can love a pet and still neglect them, sadly, and it's love that often blinds owners to what they are doing. But it is also a selfish form of love to keep a pet you can't properly take care of.

It seems OP has realised this and is rehoming through a trusted vet contact, which must be really hard for her. But it is the right thing. I just feel for the poor dog and hope a good, caring home is found.

Ummm is anyone else also thinking this is also not a suitable arrangement for a 14 year old - let alone a dog?

OP says she is too unreliable to let the dog pop out for a quick wee after school - yet she is also left alone from 7am till 7pm - seeing herself to and from school alone, coming home and being alone for another 3.5 hours or so every school day. Even if shes competant, thats quite a lonely existence?

OP i know you've sarcastically joked about leaving your job - but I'd seriously consider it in general, youre neglecting your home responsibility too much IMO. Its hard being a single mum, but being hard doesnt mean its acceptable. You need a job closer to home, or one with an option to WFH.

There is a lot of judgement on this thread about rehoming pets, from people who cannot imagine the wheels falling off their own lives.

No. This is the reality. You won't be rehoming him. You'll be sending an already distraught dog to kennels. No one will pick him. They'll almost certainly put him down. And to be honest, given that you leave him alone for 20 hours a day (12 in daylight plus it seems like you don't let him into your room at night either), he's horribly neglected and at this point it would be a mercy killing.

Oh yeah, and this is what your daughter will remember about you for her whole life because that dog has been with her for her whole life.

We rescued our DDog from similar circumstances. Due to a change in her previous owner’s working pattern and a breakdown of their relationship she was being left alone for a similar amount of time and her previous owner decided to rehome through a breed specific charity.

There are 4 of us and DH works mainly from home so she has someone around most of the time. She’s very settled and people often comment on what fabulous condition she’s in. I think it’s just that her need for company is being met here.

In your situation I think I would rehome, as heartbreaking as that might be, but research the charity you will do it from very carefully

Oh sorry, I missed the bit where you say that it will be a super happy ending for the dog as he's being rehomed via a lady at the vets.

I now don't understand why you posted at all if this is the option or why you've got to the stage where your house has been destroyed.

Not all dogs go to kennels or get euthanised. The charity we adopted from does home to home rescue. Our DDog didn’t spend one night in kennels.

They're not dog lovers if they prefer a dog been left alone for 12hrs a day over been with someone who has the time for him. You're doing the best thing even though it may not feel like it 💙 sending love x

You’re right to rehome him. Shit life for him right now. Does he get any exercise?

The OP has said that she does take him for walks when she’s at home. She never said she didn’t, it was assumed from early on and later PPs took it to be a fact. It’s what often happens on AIBU.

And the OP herself knows that it isn’t a good home for a dog, hence the decision to rehome her dog. (Obviously she should have done this a long time ago.)