To want to rehome my dog

[Ubah]

Please read before judging as I know a lot of people adore their dogs. I love my dog too but I think for his sake it would be better to rehome him. I work full time far from home so he is alone all day every day. I spend a few hours in the evening with him and when I go to bed he whines until I get up and sit on the couch with him again. This can go on all night so he is obviously having separation anxiety or something like that. Also he has the house absolutely ruined from weeing all the time. I don’t give out to him I just clean it up but my house is beginning to stink from him. I’m wrecked when I get home from work and in the morning facing a long journey and cleaning up after his night and day of peeing on everything is just too much. I think he deserves a home where he is in company most of the day and lives with someone who can take him out during the day. There are no dog walkers in my area so I can’t avail of that service. I can’t let him out the back while I’m away as I live on a main road and he would get knocked down. Also my teenager, 14 year old, doesn’t want me to rehome him even though she rarely interacts with him and spends every second week with her dad anyway. She doesn’t clean up after him but she just has a kind heart. I do love my little dog but I really think he needs something more than I can give him. He’s ten now and so may only have a few more years. Am I bad for thinking about rehoming him? Thanks for reading

Bloody hell, yes you rehome the poor thing!

12 hours by itself, you wonder why he is wee'ing all over the house.

And what do you mean getting knocked down by a car - you seriously think the alternative is to let him out by himself all day?

Hand him over to a decent rehoming place near you. Today if possible.

Because she said her family will judge her for rehoming

Yes, you definitely need to rehome asap. This is so damaging for the poor dog. He's alone all day, no option to even go to the toilet outside, and then you leave him alone downstairs all night. Don't worry about the judgement from family, your dog shouldn't suffer like this just because you don't want to face it.

I think when you take on an animal you commit yourself to doing the best for it while it is in your care and sometimes that best means rehoming, no matter how hard it is for you. I think to rehome him is a brave choice and I support you. If someone hadn't decided to rehome DH's dog because he was too much for her to manage our lives would be so different. I'm grateful to her for her honesty in giving him up and allowing us to have him and I'm sure someone will be grateful to you for giving them time with your dog. Don't let anyone make you feel judged.

Rehome. Saying “I don’t give out to him” doesn’t put you in the category of a “good” owner by the way. It shows a fundamental misunderstanding of the obligations you owe to another living creature. Providing access to the outside to go to the toilet is a right not a favour.

I mean this kindly but it would be cruelty to not rehome under these circumstances. Your situation has changed and you are no longer able to provide the home he needs, so don’t feel guilty xx

My heart absolutely breaks for your teen but this is a good opportunity to teach her that when it comes to pets you must put their needs above your own emotions.

I still remember my grandads dog being PTS I kicked off massively knowing they were planning it and how could they kill their dog etc and they said something like how it’s cruel because he’s suffering and my feelings do not trump him suffering.

I would find the rescues asap as I know it may be a few weeks at least before they have space.

You are absolutely doing the right thing.
You are doing what’s best for your dog, even if it’s heartbreaking for you and your DD.

This time next year your dog could be with a loving family who has loads of time for it vs being stuck as he is now.

Well done for making this decision OP.

FWIW my dog was a rescue.

She had the best life ever and was loved so much for many years.
I can’t explain how I love her.

I would have never had the gift of her if someone hadn’t given her up.

Awwwwww, lovely post ❤

Both of mine are rescues, the second one is nearly 9 and we adopted her 10 months ago so hopefully age won’t be a factor.

No dog lover should judge you for doing the right thing for the dog. This is a perfectly straightforward decision. There’s only one right thing to do. That doesn’t mean actually doing it is easy but deciding to do it should be.

Yes you should rehome him. He can’t be left on his own all day.

Please do rehome your dog. No dog should be left alone all day, it’s cruel. Make sure you choose someone who is home at least half of every day.

No judgment here OP, absolutely rehome and lift a weight off your shoulders.
Yes of course circumstances change but now both you and your dog are suffering for it.
Find a good rescue and/or a new home for him and know you did the best thing for him.
All the best.

Rehome asap. Even with a dog walker that would be far to long to be alone.

This
I was going to say YABU but you’re no longer able to meet the dogs needs and that’s unlikely to change.
Perhaps the Cinnamon Trust might take him as an older person looking to home rescue dog often prefer an older dog

I am very rarely in favour of rehoming because I think that pets should be a responsibility for life and that they should not be casually disposed of like inanimate objects but in your circumstances I absolutely would rehome him because that is no life for a dog. It would be incredibly cruel to keep him. Please do it via a rescue and not social media as others have suggested, there are many smaller rescues out there. Which area are you in?

You don't love your dog. Nobody who loves a dog would leave them for that amount of time. You simply cannot just say 'there's no dog walkers'. This is irresponsible at best, animal cruelty at worst. Take your dog to a responsible charity (Dog's Trust) and never ever get another pet again.

But your teenager can't be out of the house from 7am - 7pm surely? Can they not let them out into the garden when they get home from school / college?

And failing that, can't a member of your family take them if they are dog lovers?

I think if you surrender him to a shelter then he's probably going to spend a long time sat in a kennel wondering what happened to his family and it will most likely take a long time to rehome as he is an older dog so could spend a large chunk of his final years in a shelter.

Also bear in mind in a kennel / shelter, he will be inside for significantly longer than 12 hours a day...

Rehoming would only be fair if you could directly rehome him to a family member / friend / neighbour.

Could you not give up your job, OP, to stay home with your dog? @Ubah

OP said she's only there EOW.

There are foster based rescues that could be an option.

The house smells of wee because your dog has no opportunity to go to the toilet for 12 hours a day. In this situation, you should have considered something like a designated toilet area (pads / litter tray) so he’s not forced to relieve himself anywhere that he can. I just don’t think it’s likely that there’s not a single dog walker in the whole area. Not borrow my doggy? Not even in the school holidays? No pensioner who would happily take a fiver for a quick let out? How hard have you tried? And why are you allowing your daughter to treat this animal like crap too? Sorry but as a dog owner I just can’t be doing with people who allow their children to ignore / not walk / not take to the toilet their pets. It’s disgraceful laziness.

@SalmonOnFinnCrisp

thats their issue, not OP’s.

they would be SO wrong to judge her especially if they’re not willing to take on the dog themselves (which is unlikely given the pissing issue)

Harsh but I agree. We have 3 working breed dogs and sometimes it's extremely hard work making sure they're well exercised before work, finding dog walkers / sitters, getting someone who will look after all 3 when we go on holiday (nigh on impossible 😂). BUT, we made the decision to get these dogs. We knew their breeds and their requirements. So ultimately it's tough shit if we struggle sometimes.

Same applies to kids. Dogs are our family and our responsibility. Even if circumstances change.

To a lot of people dogs seem to be on their list of "chores" and something that, if they can't find the time do walk / train it, they just don't.

The dog is obviously very unhappy. This happened to us when we were young and foolish and got a puppy but we were at work all day. Looking back I can't believe how unprepared for dog ownership were were. The dog practically destroyed the house around us. Doggy daycare did not exist then. Luckily my mother volunteered to take him and he had a great life with her as she was retired and he had another dog for company. Her garden was also set up in a way that he could be totally secured by gates and fences and was free to run about in the garden. It might feel awful but rehoming your dog is the only kind option.