To lock the bathroom door?

[Skater78]

This seems such a silly thing to ask but I’d appreciate opinions.
If I am going to have a shower or use the toilet I lock the bathroom door. I like to have privacy in these moments, nothing going on just a regular getting ready for the day routine.
My DH says I should not lock the door it’s not normal to do so he should be able to come and go as he pleases in case he wants to brush his teeth or something.
The bathroom is very small but I’m not sure that’s even the point. Is it a big deal if I want 10 minutes privacy to have a shower on my own. He can brush his teeth around that or after his shower. I just feel like it should be respected as my choice. I appreciate some might not care but
AIBU reasonable to lock the bathroom door?

First post nails it. Is he controlling in other ways?

Me and DH have never locked the bathroom door. In fact our present bathroom does not have a lock on the door.

The only time though we would use it while the other is in there is if one of us is in the shower and the other needs the loo pretty urgently. No problem with that

Grim on many levels and the potential smell too 😬Not always possible to have a window open if it's cold either and why would you if showering and it's cold out?

It’s not at all unreasonable to expect to shower without people coming in. If that means you have to lock the door because your husband is an arse, do it. He can wait to brush his teeth, or plan better and do it before you go in.

It’s reasonable to agree that on the very rare occasions he truly needs to be in there, he can knock and you will interrupt your shower to let him in. But those situations are almost non-existent in their frequency.

Wow I would not agree to that at all. We definitely deserve privacy in a place like a bathroom!

My ex was like this we lived in a house with glass above the doors i locked the toilet door once he apparently "had" to go in the attic at the same time and "could see in" kept waving and saying cooee I can seeee yoooouuu finding it hilarious firstly you actually can't from that angle he did it deliberately to look in on me secondary I now have a shy bladder that cant pee if anyone is outside the door (nightmare when we are out) he was very controlling in other ways too

Privacy can be a big issue to some people

It's mumsnet. If you aren't burning your tea towels and horrified at the thought of a loo brush, then you are a dirty slattern with no standards lol.

We don't have a lock but neither do we need one because we respect each others privacy.
When their was 5 of us at home we had a lock. Nobody wants to accidently walk in on teenage boys showering, which fortunately they did do.
Either tell him you're going in and does he need anything first or lock the door and tell him to get to fuck.

Ours can't. I don't think I could physically get into our bathroom if the door was locked - thick solid wood, opens inwards, simple bolt. Think I'd have to start by trying to find an axe.

We have never worried about it, we just don't use the locks much, but it's one to ponder especially as I wouldn't necessarily know if teens did start using the locks.

If @Skater78 DH is so pressed for time, perhaps he could brush his teeth in the kitchen.
A student tip from decades ago 😉

If he simply wants that level of control, that's far more concerning.

We are a knock on doors and respect the response family from as soon as children are old enough to respond. I never lock the bathroom door. DP does. If he’s going for a poo or a bath or a long shower he’ll ask if anyone wants anything out of the bathroom before he goes in. It’s an entirely individual choice.

But it’s easy to manage time not to do that. You keep saying rush hour and it’s peak usage time but I have 5 siblings and we got to school as teens after sharing one bathroom with never seeing them on the toilet or in the shower. It’s perfectly doable if you want to, so the op is not requiring her dh to build her a new salt mine in Siberia here when she wants him to give her private time in the bathroom. People in relationships are allowed privacy.

How did you get married without addressing this? Of course it’s normal; what’s not normal is him not wanting to allow you even 10 minutes to yourself. Tell him absolutely no.

This is exactly why you lock the bathroom door - to stop oblivious bathroom invaders encroaching on your privacy

I always lock ours because the kids will walk in and start asking me questions.
Give him a warning that you are having a shower so if he needs to use the bathroom he has 5 minutes. Then lock the door.

Nobody wants their sexual partner to see them defecating, unless they have a fetish.

I have an ex, who used to make a huge deal of the fact I locked the bathroom door. Even worse, our bathroom door had a really shoddy lock(one that was easily manipulated from the outside, so it could be opened)., and my ex would constantly make up stupid reasons for needing to barge in the the bathroom, the moment I was using it.
Im a naturally very anxious person (the kind who jumps easily), and it was horrible being mid through a shower and having him bursting through the bathroom door😧. This was made a million times worse by the the fact I am someone who has experienced SA, so I really felt the need for that extra security.
Suffice it to say, he is now an ex, and I live happily in my own flat (where I still lock the bathroom door).

This!!

We have a no locked door rule in our house. I’ve seen quite a few people who have collapsed in bathrooms, and the odd one in the loo. You don’t want a locked door to complicate matters.

We just recognise if the door is shut someone is in there. It unravels with the loo though, as we find many visitors shut the door when they are finished do we end up with a toilet ‘out of action’ for hours until someone clues on there is no one in it!

Some people take a while on the toilet or in the shower.

It is polite to ask if anyone needs to use it before you go in.

After that you go in and lock the door and spend as long as you want in there.

No way would I want people coming in.
My showers are more for me to unwind and destress than hygiene and if someone didn’t brush their teeth before then they can wait until afterwards.

Its controlling, end of.

Wow so many replies, thanks I’m wading through them now. We have a downstairs loo too though I don’t think that makes a difference.
i just don’t see why it’s controversial to my DH . This morning I went into the bathroom after he had a shower, locked the door started brushing my teeth, he then tried to open the door (never knocks) and it was locked. He said why are you locking the door I still need to brush my teeth. I said sorry I didn’t realise I’ll come out and let you do it (very small bathroom awkward for two people), rather than just saying ok he complained that I should get in the shower and he’ll brush his teeth while I’m doing that and that I shouldn’t lock the door he should just be able to come in whenever he wants and it turned into a minor disagreement. I appreciate he’s seen me naked many times , but I just want a shower on my own and whether that is conditioned into me by society or I don’t know what I don’t think it’s too much to ask I’m only in the bathroom for like 15 mins max in the morning.

Dunno if you could get them fitted or not...and of course you might not want to! personally I think an inward opening door is more of a safety concern, because locked or not, if someone collapses behind the door its a big deal. I think if I had little kids (no kids at all here) I would disable bathroom door locks until they were old enough to be sensible or have openable from the outside ones fitted.

One bathroom here with a dh and one child.
I prefer to lock the door but if I am planning on having a long bubble bath or something I'd check first if either of them needed the bathroom before me. Dh also leaves before me in the mornings so I wouldn't use the bathroom 10 mins before he has to leave without asking him if he needed to get in there first.

@OpheliaHamlet that's horrible. Well dumped! It's not normal or acceptable that he did that.

Bathrooms locks are flimsy and so it’s easy to kick it open.

Its fine if it works in your family but a lot of controlling partners use ‘safety’ (eg locked doors, phone trackers etc) as an excuse to be controlling.

Unless someone is in ill health then it’s fine for them to lock the door and kick it open if necessary.