To lock the bathroom door?

[Skater78]

This seems such a silly thing to ask but I’d appreciate opinions.
If I am going to have a shower or use the toilet I lock the bathroom door. I like to have privacy in these moments, nothing going on just a regular getting ready for the day routine.
My DH says I should not lock the door it’s not normal to do so he should be able to come and go as he pleases in case he wants to brush his teeth or something.
The bathroom is very small but I’m not sure that’s even the point. Is it a big deal if I want 10 minutes privacy to have a shower on my own. He can brush his teeth around that or after his shower. I just feel like it should be respected as my choice. I appreciate some might not care but
AIBU reasonable to lock the bathroom door?

Yeah but you mutually agreed this so no problem. OP doesn't want this arrangement.

Never lock the bathroom what he sees in the bedroom is in the bathroom 🤣 doesn't bother me at all tbh

Some people mind if other people wander in when they’re using the bathroom. Others don’t. It’s perfectly fine to be in either camp.

What is NOT fine is if you’re in the first camp and your DH doesn’t respect that. His attitude is really controlling and inappropriate. Does he think he owns your body so he’s allowed to see it no matter what it’s doing? He needs to respect your boundaries OP. Is he controlling in other areas too?

He can buy another toothbrush so he has one in each bathroom. If he continues to moan or barge in tell him you are going to poo right beside his toothbrush and poo just before he goes for a shower so he'd better get used to the smell.

You absolutely should have privacy in the bathroom and the fact that there are two other toilets in your home makes his behaviour even worse as it's not as though he is being caught short and desperately needing the only toilet in the house.

Tell him to buy a couple of extra toothbrushes to leave in the other toilets. You have every right to lock the door when you are using the bathroom. I think he is selfish and controlling.

My narcissistic, controlling, actually evil now I’m typing it out, ex wouldn’t let me lock the bathroom door. It was his way of ensuring I never felt safe.

It’s all levels of fucked up. Your DH makes me feel sick.

But would he object if you ever did want to lock the door? That's the issue here.

H'mmm. I know. You could leave an extra one in the kitchen, just in case.

No, he isn't "entitled" to come in whenever he wants; YOU (and he) are entitled to lock the door when you use the bathroom if that's what you want to do, end of. You've said there are 3 loos so there's never an emergency loo situation. You should be able to have complete privacy for the couple of minutes it takes to go to the toilet, and he's being really selfish about it. If my DH regularly knocked on the door and asked me to open it while I was on the loo I'd be permanently constipated.

I always locked the door and don’t want my partners in the bathroom when I am showering / brushing my teeth.

I would continue to lock it and ignore him.

There is no reason he cannot wait for me to be finished.

I wouldn't make him wait as that could damage a man holding it in

LOL!! You bought this?!

But you'd wash up a fork or glass with spit on it?

He is controlling and selfish

put spare toothbrushes in kitchen or downstairs loo aka the poo loo 💩💩💩💩

there is nothing that important ESP WITH ANOTHER TOILET that he can not wait till you are out

I have one bathroom. If I’m having a shower or bath I will ask dd8 if she needs the toilet first yeah

maybe 1-2 she has said mum in sorry I need a wee can I come in.

Always say yes. She’s a child

when ex dh was there. It would be a no. Tho tbh he wouldn’t ask

I find having toothbrushes x 2 so bathroom and kitchen makes life easier in morning as breakie and teeth and no need to go back up stairs to do them

Me and my partner always just say “do you need the bathroom?” before going in to have a bath/shower etc in case the other is in a hurry and just needs to quickly clean teeth or go to the loo or something. Otherwise, we never the lock the door, but if door is shut, we would never go in without knocking and asking.

Just me and DP in our house, and I couldn’t care less if he’s in the bathroom with me, or vice versa. He’s seen me naked, he’s not causing me a nuisance or doing anything to annoy me. He’s either using it himself or talking to me. We even pop in for a chat when the other is in the bath or something!

There’s a downstairs loo that’s handy if we’re both desperate at the same time 🤣

You are entitled to either lock it or not. It is for you to decide, not your husband! If this is causing an argument, I would question his motives. I always lock the door as I absolutely do not want anyone coming in the bathroom when I’m in particularly when using the loo

Lovely, but not relevant. The issue is that if either of you wished for privacy then would the other respect those wishes or just barrel on imposing their own views?

The whole "he's seen me naked and give birth" thing doesn't fly. I still don't want anyone seeing me shit.

We never lock the door. Not precious about stuff like that.

my hubby and always ask each other if we need the bathroom before we have a shower as we both like our privacy when on the loo or in the shower so no you are not unreasonable x

Sorry op he is controlling he tells you where you can shit and your not allowed to lock the door just tell him to fuck off. Op of course your entitled to shower in peace and he needs to learn this just lock the door or say upfront I’m getting my shower do you need to do your teeth if he does his usual I should be allowed to come and go as I please you say and I’m fucking entitled to have a shower in peace. So get over yourself. This would really piss me tbh. Op most people use upstairs for a shit because you don’t want to smell anything whilst cooking or eating. He needs therapy.

Genuinely don't get couples who happily use the bathroom while the other is in there. I like to shower and do everything else that happens in a bathroom in private. Isn't that why bathrooms have locks in the first place? It's about the only place I ever get any privacy other than the gym!

We've got a lock on the bathroom door but I've never felt the need to use it. What happens if you fall or something? I've got a shower curtain across for privacy and my partner hasn't once came in. I do say 'im having a shower do you need the toilet beforehand?' as we've only got the one bathroom but he'll wait until after I'm done if he needs anything.

My late father, who was a GP between the 1950s and 1980s, never locked the bathroom (or loo) door and advised us never to do so either. He claimed that collapses in the loo or bath are common, and had many examples of having to break down the door in order to perform resuscitation. I remember one Christmas Day in the 1960s when he was called out to an elderly patient, an early insulin-dependent diabetic, who had gone into a coma in her bath (presumably the Christmas dinner burned that she was preparing for her neighbour, who raised the alarm). Apparently once the insulin injection had been administered, she arose from her bath like Venus.

This 👆1000 times over, being married does not mean you give your right to privacy