To lock the bathroom door?

[Skater78]

This seems such a silly thing to ask but I’d appreciate opinions.
If I am going to have a shower or use the toilet I lock the bathroom door. I like to have privacy in these moments, nothing going on just a regular getting ready for the day routine.
My DH says I should not lock the door it’s not normal to do so he should be able to come and go as he pleases in case he wants to brush his teeth or something.
The bathroom is very small but I’m not sure that’s even the point. Is it a big deal if I want 10 minutes privacy to have a shower on my own. He can brush his teeth around that or after his shower. I just feel like it should be respected as my choice. I appreciate some might not care but
AIBU reasonable to lock the bathroom door?

God you’re annoying.

Most people like cuddling their partners. I do. But I don’t call it snuggle time on account of not being 12.

And where did I say I was ashamed. I’m not. Nor does “my man” (almost as bad as “snuggle time”) shame me or make me feel disgusting. I’m not. You’ve made all of that up in your head.

I just prefer peace and privacy for my ablutions.

Well, you live and learn. 😕

I'm seconding triple locking as well - how weird and controlling of him .

This is awful
Of course you should have privacy
I don't even let the dog in while I am in the bathroom let alone any humans

Your teen daughters are seeing and hearing your husband arguing with you about a basic boundary, a woman having privacy in the bathroom. He's setting them an extremely poor example of a respectful partner.

I believe the bathroom thing is just a red herring and a smaller thing in the grand scheme of things. Sounds like your husband is controlling and unbearable in other ways aswell so my question to you is why put up with it? Why not leave or chuck him out depending on who pays for the house. I couldnt imagine living like you do everyday being controlled 1 way or another and I lived like that for 9 years when I was married to my ex husband but he was also physically abusive aswell as mentally and verbally abusive. What ive learned from that tho is my worth and I dont waste time on people that only want to control me or bring me down now. So my advice get rid then you can have all 3 bathrooms to yourself aswell win win

Lol, the poor dog! Does it sit right outside the door waiting for you?

OP YANBU. Your DH can piss off. Lock that door whenever you want. He can wait his turn. Alternatively wait until you’ve done a truly horrendous stinking poo and then when he knocks unlock the door and invite him in. Don’t flush. Don’t even close the lid. Let him inhale that stench then tell him to fuck off and respect your choice to lock the door.

I don't lock it but can see why people might want to. Nothing wrong with that at all!

I never lock the loo doors because my husband wouldn’t dream of coming in while I was in there. I don’t mind him coming in the bathroom while I’m in there so I don’t lock that, or even shut the door. I don’t think it has a lock anyway.

I read this thread with interest as this is a "difference" in our house too. If I have visitors in the house I lock the bathroom door when I use it and I expect the same from them to avoid embarrassment.

But when its just me and my husband in the house, I leave it unlocked. Not because I don't value my privacy, but because I don't feel concerned should my husband nip in to get something from a cabinet etc as he has seen everything anyway. I don't expect him to use the facilities, that's rude and disrespectful. If he is running late then he needs to get his timing in order and his lack of planning is not my problem. Nor am I a spectator sport so he moves in and out swiftly if at all as it is a rare occasion.

However, when he uses the bathroom he locks the door, even if he is at home by himself and he says its just a matter of habit. If I need to nip in and change the towels or collect some toiletries, I have to wait...double standards.

I don't think its double standards. You are ok with stuff he is not ok with. He doesn't REQUIRE you to leave the door unlocked, you just do it.

I don't lock the door, ever. Mostly in case I was to slip or have some sort of energency, or if someone needed to get me in an emergency like fire or one of the kids having an accident. No one is going to want to casually come in whilst I'm on the loo or in the shower (unless it's dp nipping in to fetch his toothbrush), so I have never needed to use the lock. I am obviously fine with the kids using the bathroon lock, they need their privacy.

I have fainted twice whilst in the loo, one time I had wrenched my neck quite badly and needed help getting up incase I fainted again. Of course there is a way of releasing the bathroom lock from the other side, but I wouldn't expect a panicking child to work it out, so I just don't bother with the lock at all.

When I was a single mum of young kids I didn't even close the door at all when on the loo, so that I could hear what the kids were getting up to!

No way I'd want to be in the bathroom while my other half was using it, or 1/2 after. I've been known to hand him the baby to change when he's done.

YANBU, it's your right to lock the door. There is no reason why he needs to use it at that time. It is terrible he won't respect your wishes. It does sound like he has some odd wishes around toilet etiquette tbh.

We don't tend to lock the bathroom or toilet door in our house unless we have visitors, but equally, noone would barge in. Our toilet is separate. We might knock and enter the bathroom - I often text the family whatsapp to bring me a cup of tea / pyjamas while I'm in the bath!

I live with 2 teenagers (one boy and one girl) with one bathroom, we just have to get up earlier to fit in our routines. There's no way we'd be expecting access to the bathroom when someone else was using it. So it is perfectly reasonable for OP to expect privacy in her bathroom and it is feasible.

So did me and DH but we didn’t ever come in whilst each other was showering. It just be easy I had time to have a coffee and get ready as I got up 20 minutes before he did. We have a rule that unless there is a dire emergency bathroom time is private.

hahahahaha he actually does.
Otherwise he would be coming in with me, stealing the toilet paper and just staring at me while I go which is really off-putting hahahaha

If we both need to be out of the house at the same time one uses the shower/toilet while the other has breakfast then we swop over.

We never lock the door. I dont feel i need to with my husband. I dont even close the door but im not bothered. If you want privacy then I dont see its a problem but I guess it depends on how many toilets you have in your house. Would he need to use it if you only have one? Isnt shutting the door sufficient enough to give you privacy rather than locking it just incase he needs to come in maybe? Would he have a wee/poo if you were in the shower at the same time? If he wouldn't then I guess it wouldn't matter if the door was locked rather than just closed.

Whether other posters want a door open, closed, or locked is neither here nor there, the point is the OP wants the privacy of a locked door.

Her husband feels entitled to not only deny her that right, but also barges in on the OP without knocking on the door and berates her when she locks the door.

He is a controlling abusive arsehole .
I feel very sorry for her daughters being raised in an abusive environment and be exposed to his house terrorism.

OP needs to wake up to this.

Clearly shutting the door isn't sufficient if he'll just open it and walk right in.

We used to live in a rented house with no locks on the bathroom doors. When we bought our own house, it took a few weeks before we realised we could just.. buy a lock for the bathroom door and put it on! And oh my god, I had not anticipated the MENTAL PEACE that comes with being able to lock the door!! It’s not just the privacy aspect, but when you’re a parent it’s like, when that door is locked, you’re clocking out for 2 or 20 minutes and the house is your partner’s responsibility in that time. The mental whirring can stop momentarily. No one can follow you and ask you for things. Best £3 I’ve ever spent. YA absolutely bloody not BU.

I don't understand the relevance of this.

My partner is like this. Likes her space. Wouldn’t use the toilet or brush her teeth in front of other people, and that’s fine. I respect her choices.

Your weird question. The one I responded to. You can stop now, it's genuinely embarrassing. 😂😆