To not buy a £1,000 present for DH birthday?

[DandyReader]

Usually, dh and I buy each other an experience for each other's birthdays. But this year, DH is turning 30. He said he'd prefer if I get him a gift. Fair enough, he'd like something to keep.

He has been banging on about getting a 'nice watch' for years. He could afford to buy one himself but knows it's a splurge. He has shown me multiple watches around the £1,000 mark and keeps dropping hints how he really wants a nice watch but can't justify that for himself. He hasn't explicitly asked, but I think he's hoping.

I could easily buy one for him, but I don't want to. I have savings targets to meet and don't want to start a precedent of spending silly money on gifts. AIBU?

It’s not really setting a precedent when it’s for a milestone birthday is it. I’d do it if I could easily afford it, its not like he’s asking for something stupid that won’t last, and it’s no different to a man spending decent money on jewellery for a woman’s birthday. But I don’t think you are BU, it’s still a lot of money

You could easily buy one but don't want to. That's the definition of tight.

How much was your engagement/wedding ring? Or his for that matter.

I think that would shape my pricing...

I wouldn't buy it, personally.

For my big birthday we had a £15k family holiday to the Maldives. It was lovely and we were all spoilt.

DH announced he wants the same value in a Rolex.

Not. A. Chance.

I think if you could "easily buy it" but just don't want to because you'd prefer to keep the money yourself, that's fine, but means you're tight. I bought DH a really extravagant 40th bday present even though it set back my own "savings targets" because I knew he'd love it, and I love him.

Do you not have any nice things yourself? It's not like he's asking for a ridiculous priced watch. It depends on your financial situation. If you are saving for a house or a wedding then fair enough don't get the watch, but otherwise if you have the money and you're just saving for a rainy day it could be a nice gift. Presumably he would get you something equivalent for your 30th but otherwise it doesn't set a precedent.

If you can afford it yabu. A watch is used every day.

Personally I think £1000 on a watch is crazy but I know other people think that's normal 🤷
How much do you normally spend on the experiences?

You won't get a decent watch for £1k. I'd rather wait until you want to get him one and spend £2.5-3k.

Prioritising your savings targets over a one off big birthday present for your DP that you could easily afford is 😳

Now that’s tight, you get a 15k holiday but would begrudge OPs partner of a 1k watch that will last.

Have you had a big birthday yet, and what would you expect to be spent?

Also how much do you normally spend on an experience?

Yanbu. £1,000 is ridiculous unless his family are happy to put towards it too so one big present from everyone?

Don’t be stupid. Of course you can get a decent watch for 1k. It’s a watch not a car.

YABU. It's a milestone birthday and you can afford it.

You can afford it, it’s a milestone birthday, and you know it’s what he wants. I think YABU.

You can easily afford it but you have "savings targets" 🙄

If i could easily afford it and he wants it, id get it for him.

You can afford it easily and it’s a milestone. I don’t know why you wouldn’t, it’s so mean and tight. Would he spend similar on you if he could afford it?
I don’t get why people bother being married sometimes. I love my husband and would love to treat him like this knowing how happy it would make him. Such a bizarre way of thinking.

I think she was saying her own DH wants a £15k watch present to match her (i.e. the family's) £15k holiday present

Why not have a conversation and discuss a budget for such milestone birthdays? Do you have one coming up as well? I don’t think he’s unreasonable to want a nice gift but if you’re saving for something in particular then it may not be the best use of money? Is the saving for something shared such as big holiday, house renovations etc or do you personally just have a savings target for personal savings?

This just needs a good old fashioned talk.

I did read that but her first sentence was that she wouldn’t buy it.

??

Why don't you do money towards?

I would buy it if that is what he really wanted.

I want an eternity ring in April for our ten year wedding anniversary and it’s likely he will have nothing in return 😆

I bought him a Breitling a few years ago as a treat as he really wanted a nice watch.

I think it’s nice to treat each other occasionally, especially if you can afford it.

Has he bought you expensive presents in the past?