To not buy a £1,000 present for DH birthday?

[DandyReader]

Usually, dh and I buy each other an experience for each other's birthdays. But this year, DH is turning 30. He said he'd prefer if I get him a gift. Fair enough, he'd like something to keep.

He has been banging on about getting a 'nice watch' for years. He could afford to buy one himself but knows it's a splurge. He has shown me multiple watches around the £1,000 mark and keeps dropping hints how he really wants a nice watch but can't justify that for himself. He hasn't explicitly asked, but I think he's hoping.

I could easily buy one for him, but I don't want to. I have savings targets to meet and don't want to start a precedent of spending silly money on gifts. AIBU?

I think YABU if you can easily buy it and it’s for a milestone birthday. How old are you? If you’ve already turned 30 and didn’t get much for your birthday then possibly not, but if you’re yet to turn 30 you’ll secure yourself something good in return!

I’d never choose a watch for someone else, they need to be tried on to see how they fit and feel. On this occasion I’d probably take him to a nice jewellers and go halves then pay for a nice dinner.

For DH last birthday I bought him an iPhone which was over £1,000 and for Christmas I bought him an iPad which was a £1000.

if you can afford it, why not, he clearly wants it, maybe look at something abit more unusual like Marloe Watch Company, DH bought me a watch from there, and I adore it still, and it wasn’t anywhere near £1000.

it does depend where u are in life though, for me, I don’t have any real expensive dreams, just enough to have a nice rest of my life - without sounding dreary!!

It’s quite a milestone birthday

he has basically asked for it

you have admitted you can afford it

er……. Just get it him

I agree.
Look online and see where you can buy such a watch maybe a bit cheaper but do get him one. It won't hurt to miss your savings target for once, you'll catch up. I'm quite impressed that you have a savings target !

I could easily buy one for him, but I don't want to. I have savings targets to meet

how romantic ! Maybe don’t tell him that your saving target is more e important than
celebrating his birthday

maybe tell him what your budget is and ask him what he wants you to get

Cannot justify spending it on himself… seems he has no issues spending his money on family…

I don’t think YBU.

Never in a million years would I start hinting gifts to my partner around the 1K mark, that is so cheeky IMO and very materialistic.

That said we have no idea what OP usually spends on the experiences, if it’s a couple of hundred pound then yes to start looking at gifts 5x that amount is wild and very presumptuous of the bf. If the experiences are 2k then maybe OPs parter thinks OP won’t mind.

In general because I see so many people calling OP tight - Just because someone can afford something does that mean they should be expected to? Of course not. My best friend earns double my salary, should I therefore expect her to pay for my dinner every time we go out and call her tight if she doesn’t? Of course not. Have a word with yourselves and imagine if the shoe was on the other foot.

We have one side of a story here. We have no idea why the husband feels it's hard to justify spending the money on himself. I suppose in a way you could be right. The husband is tight too after all he won't buy himself the watch. But in my mind there's a difference between being tight in terms of what you spend on yourself and how little or reluctant someone is with spending on others. I spend virtually all my money on my loved ones. I find it difficult to spend money on myself. I can spend money on myself, but I choose to spend it on others. I get more joy spending my money this way. Perhaps you would consider this tight. My friends and family would not. Hth.

What are you saving for ?

Depends how much you like him. Does he have form. I had a ex like this asking for expensive presents. Tbh I found it annoying because I would not ask anyone to buy me something. However I guess if he is generally nice and not grabby and you love him why not. It could be a nice gesture of love.

As a PP said, £1000 is in no man’s land really, far too expensive to be a cheap watch and far too cheap to be a nice watch. You probably need a budget of £5000+ to get something which is likely to hold some value. My first Swiss watch was about £1200 back in ‘98, it’s worth about £300 now.

I find these posts ridiculous. I absolutely adore every bit of my OH and if I could afford something that make his day even more special, he wouldn’t need to ask twice!

OHs birthday (40) is this June. I’ve paid for ourselves, our dogs and his family to rent out a cottage they used to holiday in when children and taking him away for a mini abroad holiday too. He deserves this and more for being so loving, caring and my absolute rock. Making memories with my most favourite person, and seeing his face light up is all that matters to me. Granted he’d never ask for anything though.

ffs 🙄

Yes you should buy him a worse gift he doesn't want and didn't ask for.

Because some strangers on the Internet received bad gifts they didn't want and didn't ask for which means it might happen to you...

I think it’s mega cute the way he’s showing you multiple watches and dropping hints that he’d love one but can’t justify spending that on himself. It’s a special birthday, and a watch will be more memorable than an el cheapo experience like afternoon tea for two or a how to make sushi class. I agree with a PP though that £1000 is on the cheap side. No way you can get a decent watch for that price. Don’t cheap out. Get the bloke something decent.

I'd say it depends on how you do big birthdays, usual spend, how your relationship is etc to be honest. If I could comfortably afford £1000 on a watch and it's what my husband really wanted for a big birthday I most likely would.

But on the other hand, I got snacks and a 10ml perfume for my 40th so out of principal, I wouldn't spend anywhere even close to that.

F. G. S. 🤦‍♀️

Obviously depends on make/model, but I’m not sure. My OH, when earning silly money in the City over 20 years ago, bought himself an Omega Seamaster for £1K.

Ooh, crumbs, the model like his is now £5.5K! 😱 So no idea what OP’s DH would get for £1K. I wonder if secondhand would be ok? Refurbished and about £1700.

It’s not much of a precedent if you don’t have to do it again for 10 years. Is he generous or thoughtful with presents for you? If so, I’d do it.

He's already shown her multiple watches he likes at that price point though? So if she wants to get him what he wants it's not exactly going to be a challenge.

I agree. I would either want a crazy swatch or a rolex 😁

It’s not that easy to buy a new Rolex. You can’t just walk in and get one unless you’re happy with second-hand. For most models there’s a waiting list that can be years long. They can call you at any time, and if you say no or don’t have the money ready, you lose your spot. He’d better join the queue now 😂
its a investment tho 🤷🏼‍♀️ they go up in price every year in Jan 5% at least

@DandyReader it does sound mean and miserable

he's wanted a watch for years and you can afford it. Please don’t just bung him £20 in a card and say put this towards the watch

when is your next milestone birthday and what do you want?

If you want a watch to tell the time, spend £100. If you like watches, an entry level proper watch brand is about £3k. In fact Rolex's value Brand Tudor is around that price. Literally a brand built as an entry level into proper watch ownership