To not buy a £1,000 present for DH birthday?

[DandyReader]

Usually, dh and I buy each other an experience for each other's birthdays. But this year, DH is turning 30. He said he'd prefer if I get him a gift. Fair enough, he'd like something to keep.

He has been banging on about getting a 'nice watch' for years. He could afford to buy one himself but knows it's a splurge. He has shown me multiple watches around the £1,000 mark and keeps dropping hints how he really wants a nice watch but can't justify that for himself. He hasn't explicitly asked, but I think he's hoping.

I could easily buy one for him, but I don't want to. I have savings targets to meet and don't want to start a precedent of spending silly money on gifts. AIBU?

I sort of see what you mean. It's an odd price for a watch, I would be inclined to buy either a cheaper or a more expensive one, oddly. That said, I voted YABU as the OP is being a tightwad.

I think you don't like him very much if could easily get him the gift he wants for his 30th but you choose not to.
£1k is actually on the lower end for a nice good quality watch.

I think the thing I'd be thinking about is: on a special birthday or other occasion, what does he do for you?

Does he expect to be treated, but is niggardly in his treatment of you on special occasions?

What are you saving for?

My husband loves looking at posh watches. Almost like an obsession. But he wears what we can afford, cheap Casio and seiko ones. Honestly, nothing would give me more pleasure than to buy him a £1k watch 💔 One day!

Don't, FGS, buy a less expensive watch. 🤦‍♀️
He wants what he wants.
Either offer to contribute to the watch he wants, or ask what he wants in your price range.
Some people get a bit fixated on having an expensive thing as a keepsake to mark a milestone. Some people want a big party. 🤷‍♀️

Does OP's husband's dad wear a certain watch that he is influenced by? Are his male friends doing this? Someone he sort of idolizes? Whatever the reason, he wants a special watch for his 30th.
Maybe parents can buy it?
Maybe OP and her dh's parents can do it as a joint gift?
There are lots of options, really.

OP doesn't deserve to be mocked for not wanting to spend a grand on a watch.
We tell women here on MN all the time to have savings in case of emergency. OP had savings targets - excellent, btw!!! - she doesn't have to alter that.

eta
it's worth noting he won't spend the money himself as he can't justify the expense.
I think there is more to this relationship.
Why is it preferred OP deny her financial goals but not him?

They kind of have a point, though. 1000 is both expensive to be mid range and far too cheap to be truly fancy.

Yeah, this. If OP comes back and says he got her fluffy socks or something for Christmas, then obviously she isn't BU.

I agree with PP who said to match his gift giving energy.

Or...buy the watch. Then drop hints about wanting £1k cash for your birthday.

To a minority of people, yes.

It's not a precedent setter, you are adults you can simply not spend a grand again or if he hints one day say that was a milestone birthday. It seems he just wants the great watch for his 30th and a £1000 will probably see him through many many years, and using it himself wouldn't seem as special as receiving it from you.

@BlueMum16but it was alright for £15k to be spend on you 🙄 .. OP you could easilY buy him one but don’t want too ..you sound lovely 🫢

True, one is money gone forever, the other will be a genuine way to hold money and value in something that lasts and can be passed down generations.

🤣🤣

If he would do the same for you, then I don't see a problem with it.

When I read your OP I rolled my eyes at the silly man wanting a status watch. However, when I got to thinking about it, I realised that we all have items on our wish list and perhaps others would scoff at ours.

Personally I like a gift to be something someone really wants. I'd spend a grand on my dh's gift if he really wanted something because he rarely does. He's not materialistic. I'd love to surprise him with the wanted thing.

I want a bespoke item of van furniture made...it would be in the region of £1000, possibly more. I can't justify the cost but if dh funded it as a gift, I'd be STOKED.

Yep I laughed at this too.

Meanwhile back in the real world of ordinary people...

It's a funny price point for a watch, I agree. In nowhere land.

That said, if the watch he wants is that price and you can 'easily afford it', I would buy it. It's a milestone birthday and sounds like it's all he actually wants and he would actually cherish it. It seems churlish to refuse because you have 'targets'. Unless of course there's some massive back-pedal drip-feed like actually you've only been together 6 weeks, have 17 children, a massive mortgage and he's a freeloading cocklodger who usually spends 57p on your birthday.

😂😂😂
Except that the watches he has been pointing out that he wants are 1k. Why spend what you've said when that isn't the ones he wants??
And you know you're talking shit anyway you can get a decent watch that does the job for under 100 as has been mentioned. Of course you couldn't brag about buying something showy then could you.
Haha you're a retailers dream, they can see you coming ..

"He has shown me multiple watches around the £1,000 mark and keeps dropping hints how he really wants a nice watch but can't justify that for himself"

This is also the definition of tight, he can afford it but cannot justify spending that money so expect her to do so.

And she also said she has some savings target so I don't get why you would call her right for not wanting to spend £1000 on a gift simply because she can afford it when the person who wants the gift can't justify spending the money for himself.

It’s fine to not spend that much on him, stick to experiences or pay towards a 1k watch. I don’t think it’s tight to not want to spend that much.

I'm absolutely amazed at many of the responses on here! Since when should anyone feel obliged to spend £1k on a present?! Having an emergency fund is much, much more important.

But I think the whole family went on the holiday - so everybody got to benefit.

DH has hinted a few times about the Rolex Submariner I’m going to buy him one day. 😂. If money weren’t an object I’d go for it… but I’m between jobs and we’ve got a mortgage to pay off.

People on here have no clue do they

But the holiday was enjoyed by more than just the op.

If you can easily afford it, and it’s something he’d cherish, buy it for him!
I spent 5 times that on a watch for my husband’s 50th and have been saving ever
since to buy him the Rolex he’s always wanted which I will give him for his 60th.
He loves watches and I love him - they make him happy and if I can get them for him, I will without hesitation.