Mixed sex changing rooms?

[Whatschanged]

Has something changed in society around changing/fitting rooms in shops or have I just had two unusual incidents? Or am I being ridiculous?!

A couple of weeks ago I was in the adult men’s section of Next with my 13 year old son, he needed to try on some jeans, a very tall but slim lad, so definitely doesn’t fit in the children’s section anymore. Men’s is upstairs with the homeware, women’s and kids downstairs, both floors have changing rooms. He went in to try them on and I waited completely outside by the lifts. While I was waiting an adult woman walked in the changing rooms to try something on, I was quite surprised, and gave her an odd look (very British of me, sorry) but she blanked me. I thought, well it’s not the end of the world but I’d be a bit more shocked at a grown man going in the changing room downstairs next to the women's clothes when my 13 year old daughter was in their alone (I don't have daughters though).

This weekend I was in M&S, women’s and children’s clothing downstairs, and there is a fitting room, women’s underwear and men’s clothing and cafe upstairs, there is a fitting room by the men’s clothes and a fitting room my the women’s underwear. I went in the fitting rooms by the women’s underwear to try some bras on, and there was a lady loitering around the cubicles, when I got in I heard what I presume was a little boys voice, perhaps about 6 years old and a grown mans voice (could have been an older teenager or a fully grown man, I never saw them, but a broken, older mans voice). The ‘man’ was helping the ‘boy’ with the clothes and the woman was outside the cubicle asking how it was going etc. I was really surprised, why wasn’t the grown man with the boy in the men’s changing room? Or why wasn’t the woman (presume mum) in there with him?! I was there with my boobs out, what if I wanted a fitting? M&S has lockable doors but Next it’s just curtains.

So I just thought perhaps something has changed and now people just wonder in whatever fitting room they fancy, or is this a bit weird?

YANBU – men should go in men’s, women in women’s, children that require assistance should go in whatever changing room matches the adult.

YABU – stop being so precious, you’re normally in individual locked cubicles anyway so what on earth does it matter!

So we have moved on to the look women who want single sex spaces are sex offenders who want to engage in non-contact sex offending stage?

That was a man. What’s this got to with changing rooms?

Name one what?

What?

Where have you been op?

Of course society has changed - the EDI lobby have made sure misogny rules and men - even though as a sex class they commit most of the violent and sexual crime - are given a free pass to all girls and women in any changing room, toilet, rape centre, women’s refuge, hospital ward etc.

They have been given magic words that the ‘#bekind’ hamdmaids assure us that will make all those men who say them perfectly safe. The magic words are ‘I identify as a woman’ - and the magic is so strong they don’t even have to have a medical certificate or anything. They can still look like a 6 ft brick shit house with full beard and adam’s apple but the doors to all women’s safe spaces will open.

Even though the law says otherwise. The government are too weak to enforce it.

And worse, girls and women will inevitably be distressed, uncomfortable and sometimes at risk of harm, but who cares about them eh?

A woman who condones rape.

Which part of ignoring that there is an additional risk by removing safeguarding is funny?

Which if allocated as a women only single sex space should not be occupied by any male no matter what he calls himself

If you REALLY believe a little cardboard sign "women changing room" is safeguarding enough to remove any risk, you are either very naive or something I can't say on this forum 😂

Communal changing room - with no private cubicle - is a big no. I don't care if it's female/ male/ mixed/ transgender, it's just no. Communal changing rooms must no exist.

Individual and private cubicles are absolutely fine. Makes no difference who is next door.

why?

You're fine with the male cleaners, the male staff, so what difference does it make to you if someone with a penis has entered the space at some point? You were not there anyway?

How do you cope with normal life if you can’t be around men? They will be in the shop while you’re in the changing room.

I learned a few years ago that fitting rooms in shops were gender specific. I had always thought it is fine to use any and it is fine to have your partner of opposite sex to come in and give an opinion. But after telling off, we learned to stay in the shop area and do the 'modeling' out there

What's been OK since 2010?

If shops are providing single sex changing rooms as permitted under the Equality Act 2010 then sex means biological sex and has done since the act was passed in 2010

If the changing rooms, with private cubicles, are busy, it makes no difference if a man is allowed there or not. So-called "man" could be my own sons by the way.

if they are completely deserted and you are alone, it makes no difference either if a man decides to come in and assault you - if a creep decide to commit a sexual offense, pretty sure a little sign "women changing room" won't be much of a deterrent

If it's a mixed sex changing area, at least there's a chance a guy stronger than me will come and help me if i shout for help if I am being assaulted.

Regardless, it makes no difference if I put on a dress if a man is in the next cubicle, or 3mn further standing at the door of the changing area, that's what so ridiculous.

I am happy with any changing cubicle that the door closes properly on, and has enough room and mirrors for me to see myself properly.
I've fortunately never had a problem in changing rooms with other adults, but the number of times I've been creeped out by other people's children peeping in and staring at me while the parent is busy is huge. Same in ladies loos!

What is actually ridiculous is that women lost single sex spaces in stores like M&S because a bunch of men decided that they should have the right to be in there based on a feeling in their heads and then M&S listened to the men and disregarded the actual needs/ safety and dignity of actual women.

It's just misogyny to not see the issue.

Up until now, trans people have used spaces according to their gender.

I found it difficult to vote because l think it depends on design and layout. If the cubicle is fully enclosed and the corridor leading to the cubicles is fully visible l don’t see a problem.

lf we are talking about a flimsy curtain and a tucked out the way corridor, that is a different issue.

So what is it about their gender that makes trans people think that it gives them the right to be in single sex spaces for the opposite sex?

Sex and gender are not the same thing!

But not in accordance with the law which says single sex spaces are on the basis of biological sex. They were misled by stonewall et al in believing they had a right which they did not have

and WOMEN having a different opinion than yours, do you mind? 😂

Actual women having an opinion just as valid as yours well more valid if you ask me and maybe we are the majority today.

Don't try to play the "misogyny" card because other people have a different opinion, these other people happen to be women (female today, when they were born and still female the day they'll die)

You are the one trying to dismiss us, not " a bunch of men" - and most men are a lot more respectful of our opinion than people like you.

Not what I read. What are you talking about?

OP’s son went in the ones near the men’s clothing while she waited outside. In her other example, a man and his little boy were in the changing rooms next to the women’s lingerie. Who is the woman you’re talking about?

Yeah. They allow men to do bra fittings on teenage girls. Avoid.

H and M too. My 13 yo DD had to try on a bikini in there with saloon style doors and men wandering in and out as well as various husbands, boyfriends etc sitting right out side the doors waiting for their OHs to come out and show them their outfits. I hate it.

Do you even understand how consent works?

You being fine with it doesn't mean you get to consent on behalf of every woman who is not fine with it!

Laws were misinterpreted deliberately because of the actions of some men and their allies.

So you can have your opinion by all means but you don't get to consent for others.