Mixed sex changing rooms?

[Whatschanged]

Has something changed in society around changing/fitting rooms in shops or have I just had two unusual incidents? Or am I being ridiculous?!

A couple of weeks ago I was in the adult men’s section of Next with my 13 year old son, he needed to try on some jeans, a very tall but slim lad, so definitely doesn’t fit in the children’s section anymore. Men’s is upstairs with the homeware, women’s and kids downstairs, both floors have changing rooms. He went in to try them on and I waited completely outside by the lifts. While I was waiting an adult woman walked in the changing rooms to try something on, I was quite surprised, and gave her an odd look (very British of me, sorry) but she blanked me. I thought, well it’s not the end of the world but I’d be a bit more shocked at a grown man going in the changing room downstairs next to the women's clothes when my 13 year old daughter was in their alone (I don't have daughters though).

This weekend I was in M&S, women’s and children’s clothing downstairs, and there is a fitting room, women’s underwear and men’s clothing and cafe upstairs, there is a fitting room by the men’s clothes and a fitting room my the women’s underwear. I went in the fitting rooms by the women’s underwear to try some bras on, and there was a lady loitering around the cubicles, when I got in I heard what I presume was a little boys voice, perhaps about 6 years old and a grown mans voice (could have been an older teenager or a fully grown man, I never saw them, but a broken, older mans voice). The ‘man’ was helping the ‘boy’ with the clothes and the woman was outside the cubicle asking how it was going etc. I was really surprised, why wasn’t the grown man with the boy in the men’s changing room? Or why wasn’t the woman (presume mum) in there with him?! I was there with my boobs out, what if I wanted a fitting? M&S has lockable doors but Next it’s just curtains.

So I just thought perhaps something has changed and now people just wonder in whatever fitting room they fancy, or is this a bit weird?

YANBU – men should go in men’s, women in women’s, children that require assistance should go in whatever changing room matches the adult.

YABU – stop being so precious, you’re normally in individual locked cubicles anyway so what on earth does it matter!

We’ll all have to stay at home soon the way this is going with something as mundane as a changing room in a department store.

I expect most women would prefer single sex changing rooms. Unfortunately the likes of M&S don't think women's needs matter these days.

Who?

That’s exactly what I chose to do. I had an unpleasant experience with a male in the changing rooms at M&S about seven or eight years ago and so decided not to purchase clothes from there anymore.

I don't go in M&S anymore. I was told breastfeeding in the cafe was 'making customers uncomfortable" - an old man who'd taken a photo of me and been asked by DH to delete it which prompted his complaint. Then the pervert reviews of knickers which they refused to take down and finally letting men in the bra fitting changing rooms. They seem to have forgotten who their customer is again.

Men who want to be in women's single sex spaces for whatever reason.

Until men insisted that having a gender identity made them entitled to enter single sex spaces for women shops had single sex spaces!

Unfortunately some women don't see an issue with this, probably because women are socially conditioned to put the wishes of males before our own needs.

men

and the pickme women who sneer at the fact that women can be sexually assaulted in posh shops too.

There’s a thread elsewhere on Mumsnet about a male masturbating in a female changing room, complete with video if anyone is in any doubt about what he’s doing. I would guess that the type of person who does that isn’t the type of person who will clear up after themselves and will more than likely leave the cubicle in a state for the next unsuspecting user, but I could be wrong.

So you mean trans women. A minority. Shops have changed to mixed sex changing rooms due to the furore from some women about trans women using them. You reap what you sow.

Women have been known to poo in changing rooms and leave it for the staff to clean up.

My nearest Matalan used to have separate M and F changing rooms. I went recently and there's now one room for everyone with fewer cubicles altogether than were in just the women's previously. The cubicles were lockable but had a small gap at the bottom of the door and a BIG gap at the top. I tried the jeans on but no way was I stripping to the waist trying the bras on in such circumstances - I felt far too vulnerable.
Luckily the bras fitted as it's miles away from my home, but I won't be going back.

Lockable doors didn’t stop a man flashing at a women in a South West M&S store.

M&S have been terrible on this for ages, from taking down the male/female signs and letting men use the women’s changing rooms to employing a man who identifies as a woman as a bra fitter (I don’t think he was very popular among the teen girls).

A recent debacle had a trans identifying male member of staff inexplicably in the lingerie department (he claimed he was passing through) who approached a teenage girl to ask if she wanted help choosing a bra.

And that’s not to mention the reviews they had published on their website from men wearing ladies underwear.

M&S have zero respect for the welfare or dignity of their female customers. I have voted with my purse. I will never shop there again.

While this is obviously disgusting, it doesn't make men masturbating in the women's any more desirable as an outcome to be facilitated.

Yep. Tis only proper to punish women for ask not to be subjected to a higher risk of non-contact sex crimes and other harms.

and the pickme women who sneer at the fact that women can be sexually assaulted in posh shops too

I’m guessing a “pick me” woman is any woman who doesn’t share your point of view?

No, it’s because they don’t want to deal with having to say no to trans identifying male customers who quite frequently get aggressive if they are not allowed into the ladies. So everyone suffers.

Men are not a minority group.

Men who identify as trans women are not female so have no place in single SEX places for women.

If these men, and their allies respected women and saw us as fully human then women would not be effectively excluded from parts of society by the removal of provisions for us on the basis of our sex.

Why should men think they have any rights to use women's facilities though?

Men who identify as trans women are not female so have no place in single SEX places for women.

These are mixed sex changing rooms.

If you follow the posts back you'll see the point being answered is about single sex

Just make sure you check for hidden cameras 😉

Much easier for a man to put them in a unisex cubicle then having to try and sneak into a female changing room with an attendant.

If you read the OP, you will see that the issue was woman entering the mixed sex changing rooms on the adult men’s section of a department store.

I remember in the 1970s when quite a few shops had open communal mixed sex changing rooms - no cubicles at all in some. If people were unhappy ablut changing in areas like that, they just went to other shops.

A pickme woman is one who sees that supporting mixed sex changing rooms put women in harms way and chooses to play the game they are just as safe as women only single sex changing rooms.

So if she picks that point of view she is imo a pickme woman

No. It’s a woman who thinks she can consent to whatever men want on behalf of all women.