HH income of £250k but we don’t feel rich?

[Bdrgvlugcbu]

Not a brag in the slightest! And wouldn’t discuss this non-anonymously.

DH earns just over £250k per year. Has fallen into the role really and is based on natural ability/talent as oppose to lots of hard work and training. He works very long hours though. I’m a SAHM to 3 young children.

Take home is approx £12k per month.

School fees: £3,000 per month
Mortgage, car and bills: £3500 per month
Personal savings £2000 per month
Kids savings: £450 per month
DH and I take: £500 personal money each per month
Leaves us with £2,000 per month for general spending, food shopping, days out, holidays, children’s clothes…

We don’t really go without, but we don’t feel “well off” by any means. Where are we going wrong?!

I currently have £47 in my bank and don’t get paid for another week. I can only dream of £12k a month. You have plenty left over, I think myself lucky if I can put away £50 in savings so fuck off!

I think most people are just astounded by the claims that she doesn’t feel well offf. Not at all a SAHM bashing thread.

No I'm not bashing a sahm but pointing out that if you and your husband/partner choose that way of raising children the compromise is that you have to exist on one salary.
Obviously here it's a pretty hefty salary that is easy to live on but the OP still "doesn't feel well off" so the solution would be to either change the way they spend their money (take the kids out of private school etc) OR she gets a job.

How do you think people on the average wage of £39039 feel? Or people on minimum wage £25, 465 (full time)?
How on earth do you think they manage if you are struggling to feel rich on £250k?

Get yourself back to work and earn more money then, you clearly can't afford to be a SAHM.

OP, you won’t discuss this publicly because you know you’ll be ripped to shreds - and rightly so. Either you’re a wind-up merchant or naive as fuck.

Haven't RTFT but don't really want to. All the replies will probably be the same, saying "read the room", etc.

Having a salary most people would have in another life/their dreams/parallel universe must get tiring. Having all that money sloshing around, being able to do or buy anything you like, financially secure for the future or potential unexpected things.

God, that sounds dreadfully hard. I mean, truly, you have my utmost sympathy.

Not.

Have you ever been financially less well off, OP? (A genuine, non-sarcastic comment this time, I promise).

Doesn't your husband have a workplace pension?

Do you have a pension in your own name?

£250k IS a lot of money, and well done to your OH for his success! I think sometimes it’s misleading to look at individual rather than household safaris, as it skews the tax being paid to the “loads” end of the spectrum.
I can easily see why you don’t feel well off on your husband’s salary .. all the outraged seem to think you are saying you feel poor, which you aren’t!
I am a single mum so have the same tax implications, and paying for school fees and general living expenses whittles net income pretty quickly. I don’t have a mortgage anymore, but I can see that interest rate uncertainly means you do need to have some savings just in case. Personally I am not extravagant, but nor am I stingy (I didn’t inherit, rather I help my parents financially). Extravagance is not an option on these types of salary.
I am sure there is a lot of complacency when it come to everyday costs for those in a similar situation to (which I think most are mindful of), but anyone thinking you are all first class and Krug on £250k is unrealistic!!

(sorry if all of this has already been said, I didn’t read twt)

@Bdrgvlugcbu your DH will be able to get free financial advice from his bank account (I'm assuming he has a premier account).

That should help.

100% of families in that bracket have significant expenditure for household staff, including a fully pay-rolled housekeeper, nanny or cleaner.

This is nonsense.

How on earth do you not feel 'well off'?? You have £500 EACH to spend on fun stuff for yourselves. £6,000 per person that you can spend on drinks, restaurants, entertainment... that's loads if you still manage to allocate £2,000 per month to what you call 'general spending' and that's AFTER saving a whopping £2,500 per month. Do you eat caviar every week? Seriously though, and I don't mean this badly, but you should learn what a real budget looks like. You are incredibly comfortable by any measure and you do need a reality check. And that's all on a single salary!

@Bdrgvlugcbu you really need to have a word with yourself about what your life targets are.
You say you grew up poor. Based on you not feeling well off at 250k pa I am wondering if your notion of poor is same as mine or the majority of ppl on this thread?

Why are the kids in private school? Is it a status thing? Or the state schools are crap in your area? If so, can you move in the catchment of an outstanding primary/ secondary? How many kids are in private school?.3k / mth does seem very little for 3 kids. In the SE you're looking at over 25-35k/y / child...
Car payments are a money pit. Could you get a good second hand in a brand you like that has already depreciated?

You also speak about "savings". I hope by that you mean ISA's for the kids and a mix of investments rather than just savings in the bank for you and DH..

For your husband to have earned 180k / year for 10-15 years and for you to not have a paid off mortgage (when interest rates were almost 0), a significant pension fund or some investment properties, I wonder what in God's name you did with all that money??

You don't come across as financially astute (quite at odds with the amount of money your dh is paid) so you must find a financial/ tax adviser who can help teach you how to maximize your dh income and plan for Kids' private schooling if that is something you will carry on with, as well as your pension.

And maybe consider getting a job. A part time one at least?

Do your friends on smaller incomes have kids in private school at £3k a month, pay £2k into savings every month, £450 per month into kids savings, etc, etc?

You have tonnes of money left over at the end of the month. You just choose to allocate it to certain things. If your household income was £500k a year, you'd still probably be in the same position because then you'd be paying even more into your personal savings, etc, etc.

Housekeepers pay are at £40k+ a year , there is no way someone on 12k pm can afford housekeeper +private schools and mortgage and other expenses.
OPs numbers are very realistic and relate to current expenses . Although I suspect school fees are just for two Children? Majority of schools are £18k+ a year plus other expenses.
it’s not 1999 anymore.