HH income of £250k but we don’t feel rich?

[Bdrgvlugcbu]

Not a brag in the slightest! And wouldn’t discuss this non-anonymously.

DH earns just over £250k per year. Has fallen into the role really and is based on natural ability/talent as oppose to lots of hard work and training. He works very long hours though. I’m a SAHM to 3 young children.

Take home is approx £12k per month.

School fees: £3,000 per month
Mortgage, car and bills: £3500 per month
Personal savings £2000 per month
Kids savings: £450 per month
DH and I take: £500 personal money each per month
Leaves us with £2,000 per month for general spending, food shopping, days out, holidays, children’s clothes…

We don’t really go without, but we don’t feel “well off” by any means. Where are we going wrong?!

You have completely lost all sense of reality. Please spend the day outside of your bubble and give yourself a reality check.
These items are luxuries that most people can’t afford:
School fees: £3,000 per month
Personal savings £2000 per month
Kids savings: £450 per month
DH and I take: £500 personal money each per month
£2,000 per month for general spending (after bills!!!)
and I say that as someone who is onto 6 figures too.

if this is real you must ground yourself in reality. Are you in the private school bubble where everyone is much more wealthy than the norm?
i understand that you don’t feel you’ve paid enough into your pension until now (most haven’t at your age!!) and you’ve made the decision to put your kids into private school. But even considering those factors, you’ve plenty of money to be more than comfortable.

I think a PP has hit the nail on the head with the perception of what being rich is.

When I was a kid the idea of being a millionaire seemed incredible but now people aren't even that shocked by the idea of billionaires, even multi billionaires.

Equally, someone being able to send their kids to private school, save large amounts of money each month & still live well would have seen fantastical and out of reach but now that doesn't feel rich to you and others on this thread.
Perceptions of wealth have changed and are weirdly skewed now and people never seem to feel satisfied with what they have, even when it's a lot as is the case here.

You're right, but even if most of us have that adult realisation that money doesn't stretch as far as we thought it would as kids, at the point the OP's at I feel like most reasonable people would go "oh, I thought I'd be taking private planes at this wage... Oh well, yippee I've still got loads, isn't this great!" as opposed to making wide-eyed Mumsnet posts about where it all went wrong.

Sigh…

You have the income and choose the luxuries of fancy cars, private education etc. Even people who win the lottery sometimes end up back poor because they overspend. Atleast you have constant money coming in each month and could cut back if you wanted.

Are all 3 children in education ? as that is not a lot to pay if they are.
If not, how will you afford any more children going to private school ?

3 children
Private school
Big house

Those are the reasons why you don't have enough money left over. MN always list school fees as a reason they're struggling. It's not compulsory. It's a choice.

Well she does have enough money left over for everything she needs plus to save

it ma be why she can’t afford the yacht and the beach house in Malibu

If you feel like you are short maybe get your butt out to work 🙄

Wow, you are so tone deaf.

compared to the majority of the country, you do have a lot of money left over each month. But instead you are whining because you are not keeping up with the Joneses.

I have zero sympathy for people like you

True.
As you say, it is still loads!!

This must be a joke. You have nearly £5k a month to save and leftover to fritter away... Most people have way less than that to actually start with. This is the most 'Let them eat cake' post I have read in a long time...

OP you are saving more in a month than some people have to live on in total. Do you perhaps feel your diamond encrusted shoes are too tight?

With the greatest of respect you dont have to be a brainy person to realise why you dont have a lot left over. School fees - not necessity. Personal savings - you dont have to save 2k a month. 2k for everything non bills - you dont have to spend that much even if your kids are in loads of clubs, you go on trips and eat fresh.

£500 personal spending money + £2000 left over is absolutely loads of money each month! + savings! Most people myself included could only dream of that. How much would you say is “ lots “ of left over money is?

No, 100% of families dont. Know plenty who yes have a cleaner but not a whole staff

No, 100% of families dont. Know plenty who yes have a cleaner but not a whole staff

Maybe you can take on a paper round!

If I were you i'd downsize, send kids to a state school and take on some ironing.

You need to break down your mortgage, car and bills cost - here (and the school fees) are where you should be able to make savings if you feel less well-off than you should.

If you are leasing a car, consider buying a reasonably new second-hand one instead, and aim to keep it for at least 4-5 years.

You should also audit your personal and general spending money: trimming costs on unnecessary expenses should enable you to save more.

And start thinking about investing, rather than saving - you are in the right income bracket to build a portfolio, rather than thinking about your money as “just” an aid to your (and I truly don’t think you have thought this through here) extravagant lifestyle… It is a truth that wealth is created by people who prefer to make, rather than merely spend, their income.

There is loads of content out there that can get you started - E.g. Martin Lewis podcasts and videos. Good luck, and I hope can learn to make the most of your good fortune, as you’re in a great position to start…

What are you spending £500 a month on under "personal spending"?

OP, do MSE budget brain or similar so you can see where your money is going, but the answer is-

• tax
• school fees
• fairly large mortgage
• savings (this money hasn't gone anywhere, you've just deemed it to be savings)

Also inflation- I think we all still carry around numbers in our head from when we were little of what a very large salary looks like. But money is worth about half what it was 25 years ago so we all need to update. (I mean, it's obviously still a lot of money.) You have a high household income and high expenses, typical for someone with that level of income. You don't feel "rich" because your notion of a rich lifestyle costs more than £250k gross.

Kind of bizarre the OP says they "don't feel rich" but also doesn't work herself... 🤷‍♂️

Surely if this is the case for them then getting a job might help?

Maybe it’s because she is raising their three young children and he has the kind of job that demands long hours to earn that kind of money meaning she has to pick up the slack. Are we still bashing sahm on mumsnet?

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