Unpaid nanny to DSD Part 2

[seasonofthebitch]

Just wanted to update the previous thread…

I’m about to get on the train home after lovely weekend with my sister. I’m more certain now of my boundaries and what I will and won’t accept. I expect this will lead to the end of the marriage.

DP called me this morning and said he was “so tired, with another full on day”. He’s taken DSD AGAIN to his gym for 3 hours and will be going to take her again tonight for 2 hours as I’m “not back in time”.

Youd think for one weekend he’d have sacked off the gym. Poor DSD.

When I was sick after Christmas, he spent everyday in doors with her. Didn’t take her the park, shops, walk, play centres, swimming - no where. Because I was not doing it too!

Im having a conversation with him tonight about our future. Feeling ok about it but also prepared for some backlash… coming back here to keep me focused!

So sorry for your and the girl, but glad you reached out here and to your sister.

I would have taken photos of the mess and lack of food to go with the report I'd be making to Children's Services.

Op, youve got to tell him he’s being a shit father. Surely he knows that is terrible parenting?

it sounds like he never puts himself second in anything.

The occasional hour is one thing but this lazy self obsessed f**ker is happy to do it for hours on a regular basis

Are 4/5yrs allowed in the gym while he trains ?

poor kid. He couldn’t just spend a day caring and playing for her

unless things change @seasonofthebitch you know this can’t continue and it will be splitting up

He’s fucking awful op. Absolutely fucking awful. I’m sorry for you because you havent had much time to process how very awful he is.
in his mind, this weekend was teaching you a lesson. How dare you not look after his kid, and do his housework for him.
he must take you for an absolute fool if he thinks you would fall for that.
I would remain in the spare room, and I would apply for divorce.

Jesus, what a pathetic man child. Surely you must have the ick now with this "man"? You are an intelligent woman with a great job who could go it alone without this millstone of a selfish prick around your neck. You're a catch. Why are you with him? If he's like this with his daughter, he'll be like this with any shared children too. Please consider your options carefully and get the hell out while you can.

I am so sorry, but at least you can see very clearly that he actually is refusing to parent his child.
That mess is to punish you.

If you have ANYWHERE to go tomorrow, I strongly suggest you pack a bag and take extended space.

This is a bad man.
Extract yourself and consider contacting social services about both this childs parents.
I also think taking photos is an excellent idea.

They are a disgrace.
This is Jeremy Kyle territory.

Of course he can't cope, the nanny has had the weekend off and she's expected to sort out his inadequacies.

I have to say OP that you don't stand a prayer with this man.

I am done. Im not standing for this.

Following

You're so much better than this

Good for you OP. I exercise a fair bit, used to be a lot (1-2 hours most days). I still managed to parent my kids, cook dinner, get the shopping, tidy up and all that other stuff.
He's got his priorities all wrong here

He's probably found a female staff member to mind her. Poor kid.

Good luck OP.

I don’t blame you OP. It’s really sad for the wee girl but you can’t give up your own happiness for someone else’s child that her own parents can be arsed with.

Good for you op. You will be approximately 1 billion times happier without this arsehol dragging you down. You have a good job, you are financially independent, no children of your own to consider (don’t let your innate kindness towards children keep you there, you could maybe approach her mother afterwards and see if you could keep in touch if you wanted to. You never know, she might enjoy the solidarity of knowing both your exes is a cunt). You are free. I’d honestly file for divorce tonight.

The Shit-tip house when you get home? Punishment.

What a weapons grade wanker he is.

Sounds awful OP- stand your ground for all your sakes.

What does he say when you ask him “why gave you taken DSD to the gym three times this weekend instead of doing something nice with her”. Or “if you’re so knackered why don’t you do a quick home workout instead of the gym and then sort the house/ do an online shop.”

I could almost forgive it if it was just haplessness but it’s the utter selfishness towards his own daughter who seems like she might be having a difficult time that I couldn’t forgive.

Hope you're OK there. You sound pretty annoyed. Deep breaths.

Good for you op.

Ahh so you are maid as well as nanny.
So sorry this is happening. The only silver lining is that you are addressing it now and not 5 years down the road with two kids of your own plus DSD to contend with while he swans about doing fuck all at home.
He sounds completely imcompetent. It's not normal, many men do not behave this way.
I hooe you don't wash and pair his socks and put away his pants too :((

‘I’m done with him’

Good for you, OP, but I feel for little DSD with a father like that.

That smacks of deliberate incompetence to put you back in your place.
The bastard hasn’t been IN the house most of the weekend to even make it messy. He’s been at the bloody gym!

Good for you hold firm

Glad you are done

I know it’s not easy leaving a marriage. I found it hard tho I had dc and I’m now a single parent

you can walk away

tho sure you will worry and wonder what will happen to the little girl

Welldone OP for not just accepting this