Unpaid nanny to DSD Part 2

[seasonofthebitch]

Just wanted to update the previous thread…

I’m about to get on the train home after lovely weekend with my sister. I’m more certain now of my boundaries and what I will and won’t accept. I expect this will lead to the end of the marriage.

DP called me this morning and said he was “so tired, with another full on day”. He’s taken DSD AGAIN to his gym for 3 hours and will be going to take her again tonight for 2 hours as I’m “not back in time”.

Youd think for one weekend he’d have sacked off the gym. Poor DSD.

When I was sick after Christmas, he spent everyday in doors with her. Didn’t take her the park, shops, walk, play centres, swimming - no where. Because I was not doing it too!

Im having a conversation with him tonight about our future. Feeling ok about it but also prepared for some backlash… coming back here to keep me focused!

Were they young? My fella is 44 and only works with the over 30s. He doesn't like the young ripped insta culture. Thats not at all what its about for him (thank god as that wouldn't really appeal to me). Its all very motivational and positive and not about aesthetics.

I’m completely hooked !
Keep updating us @seasonofthebitch

seasonofthebitch I hope you are ok tonight. I think it is going to be a very very difficult conversation, and I hope you have support around you.

Bloody hell, this is her LIFE! Not a bloody soap opera.

We're here to support her, not for entertainment purposes FFS.

Yeah they were and it basically just ruined it for her.

OP you sound so lovely - they don’t know how lucky they are to have you as a step mum

It doesnt matter if he's god almighty. He's not entitled to opt out of taking care of his child and demand you do it.

OP, I remember you saying he was more senior than you. Ignore rude people. 😊

Yeh my fella says its really really awful, and he won't be drawn into it at all. He's all about the mental health side of things for exercise (personally I reach for the choccie 😂) but I can see what a difference he makes to peoples lives. There's also a rising trend of older drill instructor types (ex marines etc) who are just screaming at and tearing-down-to-lift-them-back-up types there which he can't abide. I quite enjoy hearing about all the drama as its a different world to mine entirely (clinical), and Id rather drink a shit smoothie than ever go into a gym, but we are all different hey!

Ah, a consultant. I work with medical department heads and consultants. The women are usually lovely to work with but the ego on the men is planet sized.

I often think of the adage that women give each other on chat sites about dating men:

"Stay away from the four Ps: police officers, paramedics, physicians, and pfirefighters"

Whether he’s OP’s intellectual equal or not, he’s obviously her emotionally intellectual inferior.

I’ve seen TikToks of the drill Sargents I think I’d need one to get me to actually go and stay in a gym 🤣 the types stealing your donuts away.

Your dh sounds like one of the nicer ones doing it for good reasons rather than ego extensions.

I didn't know that! My dad and brother are fireman and totally lovely, and Ive known loads through them - mostly lovely, although affairs were rife.
The police - Ive worked with loads as a social worker and as a collective they are absolutely power hungry misogynistic twats who love the sound of their own voices. I would never date or befriend one. Huge generalisation but I stand by it. In my current role I work with a lot of psychologists who think they know everything about everything so I can see the god complex there for sure.

His female client did tell me they tease him because his catchphrase is always 'you can do better than this'. Sounds bloody annoying to me, but they all love him so it works.

He's a shit father and a shit partner. He is the central of his universe. The main character in his story.

It's such a shame when a relationship ends. You have all those dreams of how you thought it would be. I think you need to mourn that. It's not the reality, but that doesn't stop it hurting. Endings are hard but I think you will be so much better without him @seasonofthebitch. You deserve someone who sees you, loves you, values you and wants to spend time with you.

Keep strong for tonight xx thinking of you

OP he will likely try to guilt you into staying by using the child - a friend had something similar - what I will tell you is that my friend stayed for almost 2 years longer than she should have - when she left he had a new girlfriend installed not even 6 months later. Men like him don’t change - everyone is there for his convenience. I think you are lucky not to have children with him - he can’t be trusted ri take care of them

What sort of hospital consultant works from 9am to 3pm? This man seems to have it made in every aspects of his life.

I won't out myself where I work, but we have consultants doing similar hours to this at my hospital.

That’s mad @Bess91 !

How does him being intelligent and successful in his career make any difference at all to the situation OP is in?

I also remember Op saying he was more senior but then with all the talk of fitness clubs & gyms I started to think it referred to age😊

Consultant or not a consultant, he’s still a bell-end.

Hope tonight goes ok, OP

You did originally state that he was more senior.

Hope Ofstead and employers got the memo. Employees are expected by their employers to book appointments outside office hours. Ditto schools asking parents to do the same with their kids appointments. But how can they. Not having a go at you @Bess91 The State seems to be eating itself