Is this guy in a relationship with you and his daughter or his darling Gym?
I'm struggling here.
He's feeling alone as a weekend of you being away means he's had to spend more time with his daughter than his true love. He's been missing his true love and not being able to give Gym his full attention.
He resents you for taking away time away from Gym. He loves Gym more than you. He spends all his quality time with Gym. He doesn't spend it with you or his daughter.
It's no better than being in a relationship with another woman.
DP has sent me a message basically saying that we “need” to agree a “structure” routine of who will look after DSD. He said he needs to continue his training “job”, and we need to work around that.
I’ve replied saying I can’t offer structured childcare.
His reply “this is our family, you can’t opt out”
This is code for, "You have to do this. This is what you signed up for." He explicitly said you can't opt out in his head.
He's a divorced Dad with a daughter to care for. He makes it clear that everything has to fit around Gym not his daughter. That's a hard no. That's no ok.
This isn't even about whether you provide care. It's about how his priority in life isn't his daughter or you. It's about how you are secondary to the gym and he takes zero responsibility for her.
As previous poster said it's neglect. He's neglecting her and he's neglecting you.
You get nothing from this relationship from what I can see. You'd be better off adopting the daughter because at least then you could go to bed without chompy mcchompface coming in at silly o'clock to eat dinner in bed.
He gets sex and childcare from the relationship. Win! You get emotional abuse for not looking after his daughter, a lack of sleep and no free weekends. Lose!
Seriously. What does he offer to the family? What does he offer to you as a partner? It can't be much if he's not even there at the same time as you apart from to sleep!
Need to agree a structure? Yep fab. It ain't going to be you picking up the pieces from Mummy and Daddy though. I'd actually get him to write down which hours in the week he thinks you are expected to provide childcare care, which hours his ex provides it and which hours he provides. And then laugh at it.
Ultimately his daughter, as much as she might love you - wants to spend time with her daddy and have her daddy's attention. When does he even give her the opportunity to do this?
His daughter is nothing but a nuisance his lifestyle and it shows. That's serious ICK territory and yep marriage ending stuff. Mainly because you don't actually have a marriage. He has a childcare arrangement and Gym.
Having the nerve to talk about having another baby with you in this arrangement? You may as well get a sperm donor! Do you want a child to grow up with a dad like this? A donor would preferable because it's be without the guilt tripping, you'd have more freedom over your own life and you don't have his arsewipe role model to shape the kids perspective.
Even after this weekend he's not worked out that you don't HAVE to do anything and instead he's just abusing you for it. That's seriously not cool. He is trying to force you back in line with a straight face and no self reflection.
Time to seriously rethink what you get from this relationship.
You'd be better divorcing and offering paid childcare.