Expensive cinema trip ruined

[ExpensiveCinema]

I feel really bad posting this but I can’t discuss this in real life as I will feel guilty but I’m really upset so can people please not attack me!

We are really struggling financially at the moment and I am well into my overdraft and have credit card debts. It was my son’s birthday this week and he wanted to go cinema so we went yesterday and it was very expensive: £48 just on tickets for family of 4 - regular seats not even premium! Food cost around £21. (I know I could have saved this money and got my own but he really wanted the little boxes you get there), £8 parking for the time we were there. We haven’t been to the cinema for over 3 or 4 years so this was a treat.

we sat behind a family with what looked like a 12 or 13 year old boy (not too sure but looked this age) and he was making lots of noise which I ignored as kids obviously can’t stay quiet. I heard someone telling them to be quiet which the mum really loudly shouted “HE’S GOT SEN NEEDS!!”. He continued shouting throughout the entire film and then 10 minutes into it he started kicking my chair really hard! He was sat right behind me. I ignored it for a while then asked my youngest if I could sit in his seat and he could sit in my lap which we did. I could still feel the kicking as it was vibrating into my seat. I turned around and asked the family if he could please stop as it’s giving me a headache. They ignored me and I asked again and was told he’s got needs. My son (birthday boy) was upset as he couldn’t watch the film as they were right behind us. The rest of the family were equally loud talking like they’re at home! We left around 40 minutes into the movie as my son was upset.

I totally feel for any mum with a SEN child but this family did NOTHING to stop him impacting others. I feel guilty spending so much money for my son not to enjoy it. In hindsight we could have gone bowling which would have cost less. I’m interested in what others would have done? Would you grin and bear it as he had needs or say something? I’m glad we left as the atmosphere was really horrible there. Is there any way I could get my money back for the tickets? I know they probably won’t refund food or parking. I feel so unlucky that we were right infront of them and I know they impacted others too but this was supposed to be a treat and not an everyday experience for us.

I would have gone and spoken to a member of staff straight away.

I would have gone to find a staff member.

Absolutely you should have complained and got a refund.

I would have told a staff member and asked that either they do something or we get booked on to another showing. It’s not ok to be disrupted like that.

It’s going to be tougher to get your money back today, but it’s worth getting in touch to raise the issue.

In the future if there’s an issue with another patron raise it with staff promptly.

Thank you. It’s just as he had needs I didn’t want to appear cold and unemotional. I was trying to put myself in the mums shoes and imagine what it must be like for her. But if she know he kicks why not sit at the front maybe.

I would have spoken to staff as well. It's a shame that it ruined your experience.

Nothing you can do, unfortunately. Sorry it happened on your son’s birthday of all days.

Yes definitely you should have complained, they would have refunded you, or asked the family to leave.

If you didn’t go to find a member of staff or say anything to anyone before leaving I doubt the cinema are going to agree to a refund now. The child’s parents should have taken him out as he was obviously overwhelmed and overstimulated, but as they didn’t you really should have reported it to the venue at the time.

I think you should have spoke to a member of staff at the time, you’ll struggle to get your money back now.

Could you not have moved seats to get away from the rude family?

Or arrange the seats so another family member was sitting in front of him.

Like PP I’d have gone to complain to staff there and then. Might still be worth an email!

Were there any empty seats you could have moved to?

I would have gone to see a member of staff. Had similar at cinema recently. Child running around and shouting. If they find the cinema too overwhelming then why impact on everyone else like that?

This.

Send the cinema an email or give them a call to explain what happened and that you didn't get to watch the film. If they refuse to refund you can raise a chargeback through your bank to recover the funds. Worth a try. That's why most cinemas have special sittings for kids with additional needs, it's a pity that family didn't avail of one of those.

SEN or not, taking a child to the cinema who kicks others chairs and doing nothing about it is rude and bad parenting. I would have complained.

I think I'd have tried to move seats.

You shouldn't feel guilty about spending the money - think of it as a sunk cost, whether you'd had a good trip or not, you would still have spent the money and it's a perfectly reasonable amount to spend on a birthday treat. It's just a real shame the trip was spoiled.

You could try contacting the cinema and see if they would offer you anything as a goodwill gesture - perhaps another set of tickets, but even one ticket would be better than nothing and you could perhaps go to another film just with DS who had the birthday, just for the cost of one ticket and parking, take your own food.

No, special needs doesn’t mean he gets to kick your chair and talk over the film. They make sen viewings for this and I say this as a SEN mum. I would complain to the cinema and ask for a partial refund.

It was packed where we sat but the middle was empty but they were the premium seats. I didn’t think we could sit in them. I wish I did now.

I don't think one person's needs trumps everyone else's. I hadn't been to the cinema for a few years and then when my wee boy was old enough to start going, I noticed a real shift in attitude like everyone rusting sweets and crisps, talking etc throughout the movie, getting up midway to get more snacks, phones on etc. Completely unacceptable. You also mentioned adults talking which is a no no but some people really are quite selfish these days. I would certainly contact the cinema today and explain why you are so annoyed. They have cameras so should be able to see what happened, I would think.

Did they do anything?

Yes, I would have done the same. It's not on to spoil the enjoyment of others and many cinemas have showings aimed at people with SEN, etc. We are lucky enough to be able to go to an independent cinema and so far have not experienced the poor behaviour the multiplexes seem to attract.

You're right OP. They should've either sat at the front, moved seats, or left the screening - it isn't appropriate to kick the seat infront regardless of send needs. This is why cinemas offer the disability card or why people get DLA... Because if you've paid for an experience that you need to repeat, because in the first instance the individual wasn't able to cope with the experience the disability benefits cover the cost. Speaking as a mum of a sen child myself. If my child did that, I'd give them a choice - stop or we move seats/leave.