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Original poster

Expensive cinema trip ruined

173 replies

ExpensiveCinema · 18/01/2026 10:08

I feel really bad posting this but I can’t discuss this in real life as I will feel guilty but I’m really upset so can people please not attack me!

We are really struggling financially at the moment and I am well into my overdraft and have credit card debts. It was my son’s birthday this week and he wanted to go cinema so we went yesterday and it was very expensive: £48 just on tickets for family of 4 - regular seats not even premium! Food cost around £21. (I know I could have saved this money and got my own but he really wanted the little boxes you get there), £8 parking for the time we were there. We haven’t been to the cinema for over 3 or 4 years so this was a treat.

we sat behind a family with what looked like a 12 or 13 year old boy (not too sure but looked this age) and he was making lots of noise which I ignored as kids obviously can’t stay quiet. I heard someone telling them to be quiet which the mum really loudly shouted “HE’S GOT SEN NEEDS!!”. He continued shouting throughout the entire film and then 10 minutes into it he started kicking my chair really hard! He was sat right behind me. I ignored it for a while then asked my youngest if I could sit in his seat and he could sit in my lap which we did. I could still feel the kicking as it was vibrating into my seat. I turned around and asked the family if he could please stop as it’s giving me a headache. They ignored me and I asked again and was told he’s got needs. My son (birthday boy) was upset as he couldn’t watch the film as they were right behind us. The rest of the family were equally loud talking like they’re at home! We left around 40 minutes into the movie as my son was upset.

I totally feel for any mum with a SEN child but this family did NOTHING to stop him impacting others. I feel guilty spending so much money for my son not to enjoy it. In hindsight we could have gone bowling which would have cost less. I’m interested in what others would have done? Would you grin and bear it as he had needs or say something? I’m glad we left as the atmosphere was really horrible there. Is there any way I could get my money back for the tickets? I know they probably won’t refund food or parking. I feel so unlucky that we were right infront of them and I know they impacted others too but this was supposed to be a treat and not an everyday experience for us.

OP posts:
piscofrisco · 18/01/2026 11:25

I feel sympathy for the family, but there are ‘ loud showings’ in nearly all cinemas and theatres now. I work with people with LD and other SEN and we look for these showings and go with them to them, not the regular ones. Becuase whilst their conditions and how they manifest are not their fault they do impact on other people which isn’t fair if it can be avoided. PP are right though, you should have spoken to cinema staff there and then, through I appreciate it feels mean to do so.

piscofrisco · 18/01/2026 11:25

I feel sympathy for the family, but there are ‘ loud showings’ in nearly all cinemas and theatres now. I work with people with LD and other SEN and we look for these showings and go with them to them, not the regular ones. Becuase whilst their conditions and how they manifest are not their fault they do impact on other people which isn’t fair if it can be avoided. PP are right though, you should have spoken to cinema staff there and then, through I appreciate it feels mean to do so.

piscofrisco · 18/01/2026 11:25

I feel sympathy for the family, but there are ‘ loud showings’ in nearly all cinemas and theatres now. I work with people with LD and other SEN and we look for these showings and go with them to them, not the regular ones. Becuase whilst their conditions and how they manifest are not their fault they do impact on other people which isn’t fair if it can be avoided. PP are right though, you should have spoken to cinema staff there and then, through I appreciate it feels mean to do so.

NewYearNewJob2024 · 18/01/2026 11:28

It's definitely worth an email, OP. If they do refuse a redund, at least you'll have tried.

I do have empathy for those with SEN and their families. However, it doesn't give them the right to ruin experiences for others. They should have gone to a different viewing tailored to those with SEN.

Sorry your son's birrhday trip was ruined.

Mischance · 18/01/2026 11:28

I think you will find that piscofrisco has sympathy with the family .........

Anyusernamewilldo8963 · 18/01/2026 11:28

As a parent with 2 DC with SEN there needs might be the reason but never the excuse. The family could and should have done more to stop the child impacting on everyone else around them. I hope you are able to get some money back and can do bowling or similar for your child instead

Itsnotallaboutyoulikeyouthink · 18/01/2026 11:30

Was the cinema full
because I would have just moved to the seats that weren’t occupied.

Geneticsbunny · 18/01/2026 11:31

If your disability means that you can't sit quietly in a cinema then you are not able to go to a normal cinema screening and instead need to go to a relaxed screening or not go. That is why they have relaxed/autism friendly screenings. You should have complained and the cinema should have removed them. I have a disabled child and I think they were completely unreasonable.

LookingThroughGlass · 18/01/2026 11:31

rainbowstardrops · 18/01/2026 11:13

As others have said, I’d have either gone to speak to a member of staff or just moved to the premium seats. If someone came and asked you to move, I’d explain why I did. Mind you, my local cinema doesn’t have premium seats. Never heard of it in a cinema!
Was your DH/partner with you? Couldn’t they have gone and spoken to someone?

Premium seats are common in chain cinemas. They're bigger than standard seats and also positioned so you get the best view. Our Vue cinema has them - sometimes they do an offer 'any seat for £4.99' so you can get a premium seat at no extra cost.

DH and I don't go to the cinema that often - maybe a couple of times a year - and we never buy food in the cinema (rip-off) so we normally get the premium seats even if we have to pay for them, as it adds to the feeling of occasion and it's still only about £20 max for an afternoon/evening's entertainment which seems reasonable.

Mum18282 · 18/01/2026 11:32

ExpensiveCinema · 18/01/2026 10:13

Thank you. It’s just as he had needs I didn’t want to appear cold and unemotional. I was trying to put myself in the mums shoes and imagine what it must be like for her. But if she know he kicks why not sit at the front maybe.

Edited

As a mum with a child with SEN I wouldn’t have let my child do this - I wouldn’t have been able to enjoy the film either if my child was ruining it for others. It’s really challenging to get them to stop so as a SEN parent you leave or you take them to a relaxed screening.

Were there any other seats? I would have moved. Or complained and got my money back.

dottiedodah · 18/01/2026 11:33

I sympathise with OP .and I think there is so much entitlement these days .People are talking about Strictly behind us at the Afternoon theatre!others on their phones (supposed to be switched off!) I would complain today .Dont leave it. in person to speak to the manager .and leave comments on FB whatever .I feel for SEN children (my own DC has learning difficulties )but they shouldnt be allowed to behave like this

LookingThroughGlass · 18/01/2026 11:34

tokennamechange · 18/01/2026 11:06

as pps have said, the time to try and sort it was then! I used to work in a cinema, we'd always try and resolve it if people had issues at the time (even the person who came out of a horror film 20 mins in and threw up on the floor got their money back!) but used to hate people who only complained afterwards.

If you can tell them the exact time you left and what screen they almost definitely will have CCTV so could check it, but it's a lot more inconvenient for them - if you'd said at the time they would have just said 'move into the premier seats' which wouldn't cost them anything compared to a £48 refund.

For the future, do you have any other cinemas near you that are a bit cheaper?
There's usually a huge variation in price that might mean it's worth driving a bit further. In my city there's at least 6 cinemas, for a family of 4, you could spend £70 plus £10 parking for the everyman, or £26 with free parking at the odeon.
Going on a tuesday or wednesday with a meerkat voucher (can get a year's worth with a travel insurance policy for a 1 day trip - which you could just make up and don't even have to actually take!) would reduce it down to £13.

Spending £21 on cinema food when you're hugely into your overdraft is insane, sorry. Fair enough if your son wanted one of the 'little boxes' for his birthday but why did the rest of the family need them? I don't mean to kick you when you're down, but you probably wouldn't be feeling as gutted if a £20 day out had been ruined compared to an £80 one.

OP doesn't say who went other than herself and the birthday DS but if we assume at least one of the four was another child, it would be a bit rubbish for one child to get a food box and the other(s) not, especially if they're all quite young.

TesChique · 18/01/2026 11:34

ExpensiveCinema · 18/01/2026 10:13

Thank you. It’s just as he had needs I didn’t want to appear cold and unemotional. I was trying to put myself in the mums shoes and imagine what it must be like for her. But if she know he kicks why not sit at the front maybe.

Edited

Why tie yourself in knots to show empathy when the mum couldn't give two shits how you felt.
Had she been more empathetic back id get it but she wasnt, therefore id have gone and got a staff member immediately upon the pushback and defensiveness from her.

Be a dick to me ill be a dick back.

LighthouseLED · 18/01/2026 11:36

busyd4y · 18/01/2026 11:11

My guess is that they would try and resolve the situation, why would you assume that no cinema cares about their customers enjoyment?

I often notice a defeatist attitude on here to asserting oneself in general consumer related issues. So many posters have said it's too late, why? What possible negative could there be to politely sticking up for yourself?

Show quote history

But they don’t always try and resolve the situation.

I was in the cinema recently and a woman was sitting there with her phone on almost constantly. Asked her to turn it off, she wouldn’t, so went to find a member of staff. They refused to make her leave as apparently she needed the phone on to monitor her blood sugar (I am not quite sure why this involved scrolling through Instagram…) They didn’t offer me anything, as it’s a chain I have membership for, just said I could book another screening - but there wasn’t a convenient one.

It’s shit.

Littlemisscapable · 18/01/2026 11:37

Bigearringsbigsmile · 18/01/2026 10:10

I would have gone and spoken to a member of staff straight away.

This. Its beyond annoying when people behave like this. If the child cant manage the cinema they need to leave..its not fair on other people.

PersephonePomegranate · 18/01/2026 11:38

ExpensiveCinema · 18/01/2026 10:13

Thank you. It’s just as he had needs I didn’t want to appear cold and unemotional. I was trying to put myself in the mums shoes and imagine what it must be like for her. But if she know he kicks why not sit at the front maybe.

Edited

Don't feel bad, he shouldn't be there if he can't cope in that environment - I say that as someone with a close family member who has special needs. It's unfair to put the child in a position where they can't behave in the expected way and it's not fair on every other person who paid to be there. If their parents wanted to risk it, they should have tried a relaxed viewing or be prepared to make a quick get away.

ohyesido · 18/01/2026 11:38

The cinema will simply tell you that they can’t control the behaviour of other customers and apologise for any inconvenience caused. The problem lies with the threat of character assassination because you are not prepared to accept your experience being ruined by the impact of this child’s behaviour. The parents are using the SEN as an excuse to absolve themselves of responsibility

cestlavielife · 18/01/2026 11:38

ExpensiveCinema · 18/01/2026 10:36

@honeylulu i wish I had the confidence to do that! On another note how can I get confident enough to be able to handle these situations please? I could have made the evening better if I had in hindsight done this

Edited

Practice.
Role play to your mirror.

There will be other occasions you need to advocate for you or your dc. Health school etc .

Be polite stay calm explain. "Please can i speak to a manager? We had to leave due to family behind kicking our seat. Can we move to those empty seats? Can you give us a refund? Can you swap our tickets to the next performance at 6 pm?"

take a local course in amateur drama or public speaking ? Build your confidence.

cestlavielife · 18/01/2026 11:39

Or sign up for an improv course. Anything to push you and give you confidence to speak .do it for you and your dc

Daygloboo · 18/01/2026 11:39

ExpensiveCinema · 18/01/2026 10:08

I feel really bad posting this but I can’t discuss this in real life as I will feel guilty but I’m really upset so can people please not attack me!

We are really struggling financially at the moment and I am well into my overdraft and have credit card debts. It was my son’s birthday this week and he wanted to go cinema so we went yesterday and it was very expensive: £48 just on tickets for family of 4 - regular seats not even premium! Food cost around £21. (I know I could have saved this money and got my own but he really wanted the little boxes you get there), £8 parking for the time we were there. We haven’t been to the cinema for over 3 or 4 years so this was a treat.

we sat behind a family with what looked like a 12 or 13 year old boy (not too sure but looked this age) and he was making lots of noise which I ignored as kids obviously can’t stay quiet. I heard someone telling them to be quiet which the mum really loudly shouted “HE’S GOT SEN NEEDS!!”. He continued shouting throughout the entire film and then 10 minutes into it he started kicking my chair really hard! He was sat right behind me. I ignored it for a while then asked my youngest if I could sit in his seat and he could sit in my lap which we did. I could still feel the kicking as it was vibrating into my seat. I turned around and asked the family if he could please stop as it’s giving me a headache. They ignored me and I asked again and was told he’s got needs. My son (birthday boy) was upset as he couldn’t watch the film as they were right behind us. The rest of the family were equally loud talking like they’re at home! We left around 40 minutes into the movie as my son was upset.

I totally feel for any mum with a SEN child but this family did NOTHING to stop him impacting others. I feel guilty spending so much money for my son not to enjoy it. In hindsight we could have gone bowling which would have cost less. I’m interested in what others would have done? Would you grin and bear it as he had needs or say something? I’m glad we left as the atmosphere was really horrible there. Is there any way I could get my money back for the tickets? I know they probably won’t refund food or parking. I feel so unlucky that we were right infront of them and I know they impacted others too but this was supposed to be a treat and not an everyday experience for us.

Try complaining anyway because maybe someone else did and so you'd have corroboration. I thought there were special showi ngs for things like autism and maybe the family should have gone to that instead.

imnotwhoyouthinkiam · 18/01/2026 11:39

I would have said something as I left. I have done in the past, i didnt even expect anything. I just mentioned as I was leaving that people using their phones in the cinema were really ruining it for us, and maybe a staff member should be in there at all times. They gave us a free ticket each. We hadn't paid for the ones that day either (Mum gets them free with sky). Then when we used the free ones they upgraded us to VIP seating. Which I found less comfortable than the normal seats tbh.

And families of children with additional needs have my sympathy too. I used to care for a guy with an ABI, one of his favourite things to do pre-injury was go to the cinema. So we tried to facilitate it as much as we could. He'd shout out during the film and people would complain. The special viewings weren't appropriate as they were always for kids films. Which he didnt want to see. It was one of his small enjoyments so it was hard to tell him it couldn't happen.

RosieLeaLovesTea · 18/01/2026 11:39

If you speak to the Manager or staff today other people also may have complained. You could try to get your money back or they may be give a voucher or a tickets for another showing or movie xx

INX · 18/01/2026 11:41

LighthouseLED · 18/01/2026 11:36

But they don’t always try and resolve the situation.

I was in the cinema recently and a woman was sitting there with her phone on almost constantly. Asked her to turn it off, she wouldn’t, so went to find a member of staff. They refused to make her leave as apparently she needed the phone on to monitor her blood sugar (I am not quite sure why this involved scrolling through Instagram…) They didn’t offer me anything, as it’s a chain I have membership for, just said I could book another screening - but there wasn’t a convenient one.

It’s shit.

Show quote history

Well that was shit, yes but it doesn't mean they all are?

MidnightMeltdown · 18/01/2026 11:41

Having a child with special needs doesn’t entitle you to ruin the experience for other people. They are entitled and rude. No way I would have been able to keep my mouth shut. I would have told her to leave if her son can’t behave appropriately in public, and informed a member of staff if she refused.

Sparklesandspandexgallore · 18/01/2026 11:46

I believe this is why a lot of cinemas and the like are suffering.
It’s a lot of money to pay to have to suffer the rude, entitled behaviour of others.
It’s why lots of people stay home away from these types of people.
There is no excuse for allowing a child to behave like that, none.
It’s why I pay a lot for my car too. I’d rather drive and not drink than have to suffer public transport at night.
Next time, if there us one, go and speak to a member of staff.
Hopefully there are separate screenings for those with additional needs.